You must be a redneck! jokes

[killermusic900 offline]

just like yo mama jokes.

If the UFO Hotline limits you to one call a day, you must be a Redneck!

If you give your wife Chinette for your anniversary, you must be a redneck!

[Darkborn offline]

You might be a redneck, if you mow the lawn with the baby riding it.

[Chad Rains offline]

You might be a redneck if your definition of a honeymoon is front row seats to a NASCAR race.

[Carth]

YAY! ME WUV DEEZ!

You might be a redneck if your town has no junkyard-if your front lawn doesn't count.

[Jeremified offline]

You might be a redneck when you buy the frame of a jacuzzi (sp?), put it over a campfire on stilts, and call it a hot tub. (hehe... got that one from a picture.)

[Aurelius offline]

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says "Say no to crack", it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

[TB3]

You must be a redneck when 'softwear' means 'comfortable clothes' to you!

[Darkborn offline]

You might be a redneck when drag racing in high class...(lol I don't know. I'm not good with these jokes)

[Jeremified offline]

You might be a redneck when you put a couple of stamps on your computer screen when you send an e-mail, then after about 10 or 15 e-mails, you complain about not being able to see the screen to Microsoft tech support.

[Aceilikeeggs offline]

You might be a redneck when the cologne you wear smells like unwashed feet and you think it's "purty durn gud"

[Chad Rains offline]

You might be a redneck when "Yahoo!" is a phrase you use everyday.

[Stonecreek]

If any of these apply to you, you might be a redneck:

-The directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road"
-You walk your child to school because you're in the same grade
-Your gun rack has a gun rack
-You use a Cd drive in a computer as a cup holder
-You have more hats than teeth left

[Aurelius offline]

- when your richest relative buys a new home and you have to help take the weels off it.

[Rudger offline]

Bumping because Jeff foxworthy rocks

you might be a redneck ...
If you own a home that is mobile and 14 cars that aren't.
If Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain
If you mow the grass and find a car
If your non-working television is the stand for your working television (guilty)
If someone Hollers HO-Down and your Girlfreind hits the floor
If you can burp and say your name at the same time
If your family tree does not fork
If you've been married three times and still have the same inlaws
If you know this many You might be a redneck jokes
If you've ever financed a tatoo ( three more payments and this baby is mine)
If everyday someone comes to your door mistakenly thinking your having a yard sale
If your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture
If your front porch colapses and kills more than three dogs
If you've ever brought a beer to a job interveiw
If your underwear doubles as your bathing suit
If you buy your wife earrings that double as fishing lures
If youve ever been accused of lying through your tooth
If the most common phrase heard in your house is "Somebody go jiggle the handle"
If you think the nutcracker is something you did off the high dive
If you get hot flashes at a cattle auction
If youve ever made change in the offering plate
If you leave out cold beer and pickled eggs for santa clause
If youve been on television more than three times describing what the tornado sounded like

I finnaly ran out... curse you XANA for messing with my memory
I will be back with more when I find My CD's mua ha ha

[Rail Runner offline]

You might be a redneck if your dad's cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.

[Jazzy Josh offline]

If your eich uncle buys a house, and ou have to take the wheels off of it, you might be a redneck

If you go through a car wash, and after te 5th time yor car's still dirty, you might be a redneck

[Carth]

If someone's last words were "Hey, Y'all! Watch this!", they may have been a redneck.

[JeremysGirl offline]

If you go to a family reunion to meet women, you might be a redneck.
If you consider hubcaps as a home improvement item, you might be a redneck.

[SmackDown! offline]

The only one I can think of is, "If you've ever went to the prom, and your mother's sister's cousin was your date, you might be a redneck." That's all I got.

[Overcaffeinated Sloth offline]

OOH! My favorite is "If you are wearing a dress that is strapless and a bra that isn't, you might be a redneck." That happened to my friend Tara. It was so funny, thank god it was dark at the dance.