I had a crush on a girl in my school. This happened for a very good reason. You see, two years ago, I had no real friends. I was always alone, feeling as if I was unwanted. Nobody cared about my life and nobody tried to bring happiness. I eventually found the people who would be my best friends today, and they tried again and again to help me. But nothing they offered worked. They had never experienced a problem as deep as mine. In fact, I'm sure no American has. We Chinese people aren't that stupid as to actually make such errors as "not being yourself" or peer pressure. However, my new friends didn't know that, and there was nothing they could do. My life was in a shambles… until I met her.
There was something she said to me that changed my life. It's mystifying how something so simple had such a big impact. The thing she said was:
Other people had said similar things to me, but it is so apparent from their tones of voice that they were joking–making fun of me because of my pity. But she was different. She was a very nice person, and her voice was sincere. That was the first time I'd ever felt appreciated in my life.She wrote:"[Chosen_one] is so cool!!"
Eventually, we started to have conversations, and after the year ended, I realized I had a crush on her. Every night, when I my thoughts were disturbed, her presence in my heart calmed my mind. Many other girls tried hitting on me or asking me out, but I knew I couldn't for I would lose my chance of pleasing her.
Then, something happened today. My best friend, Cleverstar, reveiled that he had a crush on her as well. He made a first move on her and sat at her table, something I had never dared to do. As he was leaving the cafeteria, she said "Goodbye" in a nervous tone as if she liked him back. When I walked to my next class (which, coincidentally, was the same class that she had), she was talking about Cleverstar to her friend.
She had been the one whom first sewed my life back together. She had been the one I dreamt about every day. Her presence in my heart had been the thing that molded my lifestyle (sort of). She was the only reason I wanted to stay in America. Now, I feel she's gone. Now, I feel like I died. Now, I feel like the whole world has abandoned me. I wanted to see my family in China so bad, hoping that they would make things better. But in my heart, I know that's not true.
I feel like my life has been torn by the very person who sewed it together.
I don't know what to say, but let me say one thing...(okay...just ignore that for a second...)
Neither of them did. It's like both of them have forgotten who I am.
