my dad

[DarkestSoul X21 offline]

When I walked in the door, I saw my dad smoking. And he told me that he doesn't smoke anymore but he lied. I don't want him to smoke but he is still doing it anyways. What should I do?

[LadyChaos offline]

I have never had good luck with the smokers in my life. My mom smokes, my younger brother smokes, my mom's sister smokes (as do her husband and her kids), and my dad smokes cigars.
I don't know what you could do to make him stop, nothing I have tried to get my parents and brother to stop has worked.
Quitting smoking is a very hard thing to do. Not a lot of people CAN stop. At least ask him not to smoke in the house, or only in one room in the house. That's what my sister did with our mom, she can only smoke in her room; nowhere else.
It sucks that he lied to you when he said he doesn't smoke anymore. But could it also be that he didn't smoke and took it up again? My mom quit for a while then took it up again.

Rose

[MY85 offline]

Old habits die hard. Well, it sucks that your dad lied to you. But if he continues smoking, just tell him to do it outside your house or somewhere else. And just like me, he can go back to smoking from time to time, leave the smoking and go back again, it's a cycle that tends to happen. But I don't know the frequency of how much your dad smokes. Whatever happens, good luck with your problem.

[Ransomed_Heart offline]

Actually, I'm going through the same thing right now woth my dad, except he doesn't know that I know. My advice to you is to talk to him, because it's the only way you an work this out. Let him explain his reasons to you, and tell him why it upset you.

[TB3]

My mum's from an inner-city environment where smoking was pretty much required, but was decent enough to permenantly give it up when she was pregnant with me, so I've never really had a smoker in my home.

That said, whenever we visit her relatives (7 brothers and sisters) in the city they smoke quite heavily so whenever they come to us we impose a 'smoking-room' policy - either the garage or outside.

Smoking isn't pleasant (one of my aunts developed breast cancer and I watched the whole chemo degeneration), but some people honestly can't kick the habit lyokolover - my suggestion would be rather than get angry at your father you talk to him about it and express your feelings, and that way you can work out a solution. As the others have said asking him to do it outside or just in one room's a good compromise, and I honestly hope it works out for you, and I also hope you can help him break the habit.

Good luck

(oh and I always say this next bit when I give advice, but since none of us know about your family please think our advice through before trying it - it'd be awful if our suggestions only worsened a situation)

[Virus_Xana offline]

just let your dad live his life. You can't change who he is or what he does.

[Darkborn offline]

If your Father gets a Heart attack from smoking. Tell him that, that is a warning and if he keeps on smoking you won't live much sooner. That was my Mom did. She was a smoker when she was 17 and had her first heart attack at..oh say 44, I can't remember. She has stoped smoking since then with out any patches or anything. She's doing fine. Aside from the part that she is Diabetic and had a Kidney Transplant and has Toxoplasmosis in her eyes. Other that that she is fine.

[Pearl offline]

Poor you. You know, one of my grandfathers died because he smoked a lot. Then I met my cousin´s grandmother, the one who isn´t mine too, and she smoked. I told her to stop smoking because I didn´t want my two cousins to suffer like I did for loosing my grandfather. She stoped, and everytime I met her she says " thank you " to me for helping her.

Perhaps you could say the samething to your daddy, like you don´t want to suffer about that anymore, and probrably you don´t, and perhaps he´ll listen to you.

[Chosen_one offline]

My Grandpa was a smoker until someone told him it was unhealthy and he got a heart attack. Then he quit.
If you care for your father a lot, then destroy his cigarettes. When I was visiting my grandparents in Harbin, my uncle had a pack of cigarettes and I was going to throw them out the window, but I didn't because the package had money in it. When I was at a restauraunt in Beijing with my other uncle, he was smoking so I took his cigarettes and destroyed them.

When lit, a cigarette has 5000 poisonous chemicals. (It starts out with 2000, and 3000 more are produced by the fire.) Smoking a package of cigarettes every day for a year will produce approximately 320 cubic inches (about 177.32 ounces, or 22 cups, or 11 pints, or 5.5 quarts, or 1.4 gallons) of tar in your lungs. Buying the cigarettes will cost approximately $1280 (in US dollars).

[codeTONY offline]

Well, I can't say I can't relate. My dad is a smoker. He's dying, yet he dosn't do anything about it. I say, tell your dad you know. Tell him you don't like it, and even though you may not like it, act like a little kid. Spend more time with him. If he becomes closer to you, he may try to stop smoking, if he know what it'll do to him.

Nothing is foolproof. Here's a sad story;

My cousin lives in NYC with his mom, dad, and younger brother. He is 15, an his brother is 9. He smokes. He goes out at night to smoke almost every weed there is. Illegal weeds, pot, tobacco, you name it. He also gets picked up by the police (two times so far) for graffding (sp?). How will this affect his little brother? I worry he might start smoking, or commiting crimes. *sigh.* I hope for the best.
Truly,
Tony

[Demonkiller offline]

My dad has to smoke to live. He has this rare disease in which your lungs fill with a goo, and the only thing that can get rid of the goo are the nicotine in cigarettes. I believe it's called, "Sarcoidosis."

[scipio offline]

guess what same thing with my grandpa he smoked till eveyone told him bout the hearty risks and how much they hated it
(he was like 50 or something) now he has a severe case of lung cancer stupid smokers dieseses

[Jade offline]

that's what my dad did. for the longest time he was chewing on orbit instead of smoking, and then he started again, so he said to me, "i'll finish this pack and try to stop." then, next thing i knew, he was out the door to go buy more.

[mooshie offline]

my mom used to smoke and my step dad still does but it is a nasty habit, I used to hate going to my mom's house because she smoked, my stepdad has the aforementioned arrangement in which he is only alowed to smoke outside, although it works to a cetain degree it is still present in your life but depending on how soon he started smoking he might not be able to quit

[Rail Runner offline]

my mom smokes...but she only does it outside, even when she comes to visit...so she respects everyones space...she tried to quit before, but its probably hard for her to quit.
She is a very clean person...clean house, clean vehicles, clean everything...but that seems to be her only downfall..as far as vices go.

[. offline]

"I quit heroine colde turkey, but I can't quit these [Points to cigs]"-Dave Wyndorf

You can't do anything aside from make it very known you don't like him smoking. My sister smokes and I'm always telling her "I'm not gonna visit you in the hospital when you get cancer" or "I'm not gonna attend your funeral when you die of cancer."

I mean it when I say it too.