Random bothering-me stuff...

[Carth]

A lot, at this point.

I try to be a nice person. I try to make others happy. I try not to be dumb or offensive. I try to be a friend. Thing is, I want friends too...

But, somehow...my mind won't let me let go of the suspicion that i'm only being annoying and that everyone would just be happier if I shut up.

I guess it started a few years ago...I was on another forum, names omitted for their sake. (I don't even think they exist anymore.). I was young and stupid, and said a lot of stupid things. One day one of the members lashed out at me, saying that I was breaking into their group and I had no right to pretend I belonged. Quoting him/her directly, "You come out of nowhere with nothing under your belt and think you can just fit in with us?" I don't think any of the other members felt that way, but s/he did. I left about a week later. I was ten.

I don't talk to any of those people anymore, but the effects still hit me hard today. I don't like being yelled at...or offending anyone...or making anyone else think I'm stupid or whiny or annoying...everything I think could offend someone that I say lingers in my mind for days. It bothers me to the point that sometimes I can't sleep. Typing this right now I feel guilty for whining at all of you. I know for a fact that this kind of thing worries people, but I can't help it...and I hate it...please, make it stop...

I want to get past self-consiousness and just relax, be myself... but I can't...

[Rail Runner offline]

Aww Carth, I am sorry that they treated you like that. You belong here...and you are not annoying. You are very cool and awesome. I know how it feels to not fit in. You are part of the family here, dont forget that. We are here for each other. If there is anything more I can do to help you, feel free to pm me at any time, just to talk even if you want. You are a great friend, and I will help you in any way I can.

[Darkborn offline]

Exactly. I don't find anyone annoying on here (well maybe for BBoC and the impolite noobs that have been poping up) but you're fine.

[Rail Runner offline]

Also, tell yourself that you do have friends *because you do* and that you are accepted *because you are*...maybe that will help your mind to settle down a bit. I would miss you if you were to stop talking with us. I value all of my friends thoughts and feelings.

[Carth]

Well, yes. Of course.

Thanks, guys. You don't know how much this means to me.

One thing I forgot to mention is that I want to try to start seriously working through this. But, it takes 21 days to break a habit. And I've got a nasty one here to tackle. That, and biting my nails. But I'll take care of that later.

Again, thanks.

[Reesane offline]

I love reading your posts, and find that you have a hilaruse sence of huemer. You shouldn't care about what a bunch of Xenophobs think; as they have probuble treated many other mebbers like that becaus they did not fit their Ideals.

[Rail Runner offline]

Anything for a friend Carth. We will help you the best we can with your problem...errr the nail biting one we cant help with...haha.

[Carth]

I'd imagine that. ;

[Rail Runner offline]

See, we are off to a good start right here. If you want to talk more outside of the thread you know what to do..

[Chosen_one offline]

That's so sad! *hugs*

Some people are just stupid and won't accept you for who you are. Here in Lyoko Freak, that's not the case unless you're impolite, which you're not. I hope you feel better soon.

...

Biscuits!

[Ulrich's lil bro offline]

Wel, seriously, I don't think you should feel bad for what those SOBs say. If you like to be random and crazy, well then, consider me a very good friend, because I'm in that same category. Just be you, everyone who doesn't like you for that should either have some other reason (which i doubt that) or just shut the f@#$ up. Of course, I understand your situation, but I can be serious when I want to, such as right now. Think about it, right now, you're being serious, have you looked at your first post! Stay funny, but with your friends, try to be serious. (only if they want you to be ) Then, just chill and people will naturally come to accept the type of person you are.

[Rail Runner offline]

You are definitely fine just the way you are...no need to worry about changing...make yourself happy, and dont always worry about what other people say...unless its compliments hehe.

[Darkborn offline]

Remember Pardner. You are what you are. Do whatever you want. You make your own choices.

[Tekirai offline]

The last internet community I was in treated me exactly like that, only they didn't say upfront that I was 'trying to fit in with people way out of my league'. They just hinted it a bit too heavily. I ignored it, until one person got the nerve to say it and I never went back to the internet for about 6 months. After those 6 months, I went back and said 'this place and the people in it are god awful- I'm gone'. Nobody replied.

And poof, here's the Tekirai we all know and love today, posting this right now.

Listen, Carth. The only thing that should make you worry are what you could call the 733+ squad. A few places have one. They're those people that think they rule everything, even though they don't, along with some moderators and they all love making fun of everything in site. It's usually senior members that make it up, and only new members come in if they're extremely skilled at something like coding or HTML. Anyone else who tries get turned down like you.

LF is nothing like the forum I went to, or yours by the sounds of it. This place is full of nice people. Sure, the odd arguement comes up once in a full moon, apart from them this place is fine and a great place to talk to people.

Don't change. Everyone including me likes you the way you are. ^^

By the way, if this forum you went to was known as TPS, I SWEAR I WILL DIE. Very unlikely, but I'd still die.

[Carth]

It wasn't. Though that would have been wierd. ^^;

...I know, I hate places like that. Worst thing was...I IDOLIZED those people. It was an artistic community, and I loved their work. Thing was, I didn't realize that 1) It had been around for ages, and 2) there had not been anyone new in ages.

Ah well. I'm happy here. Heck, I'm lucky! *hugs all of you*

A side note. I do know where these people can be contacted, including the guy/girl that said all that stuff, but for their and our sake I won't say, and won't take any action against it. Mostly because there actually were people there that were almost as nice as you guys. Almost.

[Rail Runner offline]

*hugs* You are also well protected here...no need to worry about crap.

As far as for your problem, your being here will help your mind to relax as more time passes

[Carth]

I've been here almost a year. It's helped me to relax a lot, but I still have a bit more to do.

Speaking of that- 1500TH POST! Only 500 to go before I am an OFFICIAL Lyoko Freak.

I MUST SPAM AS NEVER BEFORE. *runs off laughing*

[Darkborn offline]

Quickly, Pardner! To the Games Section!

[Rail Runner offline]

Games will also help you to relax some..good idea.

[Ulrich's lil bro offline]

Games huh? I knew it was a good idea... anyway, see? You're already feeling better! Heck, if I would see you in real life, it would be a crazy party... Yes, i've often dreamed of throwing a party with a bunch of random people like us. Anyway, from your fellow lunatic here, good luck and stay you... funnily.

PEACE OUT YA'LL! *crowd roars*

What? I've always imagined that... let me stop rambling now

[DarkestSoul X21 offline]

Games is the best place to be, besides BKO.

[Haruno Sakura offline]

Aww, its okay. I feel like you sometimes. I don't want to seem annoying, or say the wrong thing so, I just shutup and stay in the background.

As for the person who said that to you. He/She is a jerk. That was not right of he/she to say that to you. You have friends here though, and we accept you.

It'll be okay.