Despairing

[LadyLucy offline]

Ok. Yes, I freak out alot, I will say that. Why?
I'm italian, and a Libra.
Oh well. Blame my mother.
Anyway.
I am horriably afraid. I am on academic probabation at the moment, and from the way it's going, I won't be at LHU next year.
No, I am trying. VERY hard. I don't know what is wrong with me.
I read, I recite, I sing, I play, I try. I do.
And it is all coming to nothing.
My mother has said this since we got the letter telling me I was on probabtion. She's tried to take it back, but I know she still believes it. I am starting to believe it too, though I don't want to.
I'm not asking for help or advice. This is just the only way for me to do something OTHER than cry and throw things.
Even in my music classes. My advisor won't let me take voice lessons...I failed at test in music theory I could do perfect only a half hour before I took it. But when I stand up to take the dang thing (it was a singing test), I can't do it. I can't even the do the dang sofedge! (for non-musicnerds, sofedge is the DO.RE.ME stuff. think Sound of Music)
If I can't do music, than I might as well quit now. It's the only thing I can do! It's the only think I don't trip over my feet with.
I don't want to quit. I want my family, my friends, my love....I want them all to be proud of me! To proud of me when I graduate from LHU in three years, with all kinds of new stuff and opertunties.
I don't wanna fail out and watch them all drop away from me, one by one.
I know want I need to do, but I thought I was already doing it. I don't know what I'm doing wrong...
I do need a hug....but I don't think that's gonna happen either. Oh well. I'm too shy to ask my roommate for one....
*sigh*
Say it.
I know you want to.
I am one messed up little girl...

[phantasm offline]

Sounds a bit depressing, :/ but certainly your family and friends won't abandon you so easily.

So, uh... do you accept virtual hugs?

[LadyLucy offline]

^_^ Yes, I do! ^_^ Thanks.

[ji45ojperjfenfpen offline]

*gives you virtual hug*

Well, I'm not sure what to say but if you are trying your best, thats what matters.

[Lyoko SA80 offline]

When if It's not a normal thing for me but(Give out a hug and some money).It's normal fpor people at you age to feel like is .Remember that your parnet wholove you and will always be prove of you .Everyone has a speical skill and you what to sing (like aeltia I guess)LOL. Well do it .There alot of hard times and good one buit at leeast you got people here at lyokofreak to support you and thier always your parnets .

Good luck and give us a smile.

[oddsgrlfriend offline]

*huggles*

It's possible that you have stage fright. Sometimes you can be comfortable in front of a large crowd and then freak when you have to sing in front of 1 or 2 people.

[Lyoko SA80 offline]

LOL that a memory coming back I still got stage fear I think .I with never perform or walk on to a stage when There is a huge corward.But I hope I will grow out of it one day.

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

Hey Sis you always have BG to help, I am always here to help. And besides you don't need to ask for hugs I shall give them freely.... You know that, and I will help you all I can I am always glad to be of service. Don't worry we will get through this together *really big hugs of comfort*

[Vodka's Vengeance offline]

Believe me, I know what your going through. Just study, and set your mind to it, and you'll get it. Just breath... And relax. I'm here if you have any problems, you know.

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

Keep an eye on the dates threads were posted...They don't like it when you drag up old threads...I should know I got grumped at when I first started...Just read the rules for each forum and you will be great...Also you have me here to help.