Today was not a good day.

[SilverPrince offline]

Rant is not a board I post in too often. But today, I'll make an exception.

In school today, we had a pep really. It was in the morning, and the game is at 6 (Eastern Standard Time, UTC -5) which makes no sense. But the worst part were the idiots. They had one of the dance groups performing, and everyone in the audience is dancing in the seats, standing up and cheering and being loud and rude, distracting the performers and those who wanted to see.

But the worst part was some idiot who started stripping. He gets up and dances in his seat, then takes off his jacket, then lifts up his shirt. Almost everyone (I'd say 90% of the audience) was staring and/or pointing and/or laughing. I could tell the dancers were pissed and so were the teachers. A somewhat hippie teacher of mine goes up there and practically has to drag him out. I found out later he was high on marijuana. Figures, it is an inner city high school, after all. (Not as bad as, say, Detroit though. *shudder*)

But the worst part of today was... we'll call this person J. J is an ex of mine. We had a relationship last year, for 9 weeks. I eventually broke it off once I realized I hadn't really loved J, and also because J made stupid lies. J claimed of being an ambassador, an assassin, and Irish royalty (Ireland is a democracy). I was fed up and ended it Last June.

Then at school the next year, J sends me a note. J tells me that I "really did love" J, and that J was going to find me a relationship whether I wanted it or not. So J is also a pretentious butthole. I send J a note back and then from that point on, try as hard as I can to ignore and not talk to J. Recently, I started talking to (well, not talking. More like attempting to tolerate) J again to live and let be.

Just today, J gives me a note and tells me that J still loved me and that J will never give up on me and bla bla bla. There was even a sappy poem apologizing for the lies. At this point, however, I've forgiven the lies, and I just didn't like J because of the pretentious buttholishness. What I really, really, really want is for J to leave me alone and give up on me. J just seems to linger on me, thinking I was the perfect boyfriend and I really wasn't. I'm a horrible boyfriend, I never went places with J and didn't speak to J out of school and I was rarely seen with J in public.

I just thought I would come here and vent my anger with J and the idiots at the pep rally. I feel a little better now. In better news, Fidel Castro is stepping down as President of Cuba. Perhaps our situation with the island nation will improve? I don't know, this isn't the place for political discourse.

[Carth]

[size=0]I'm going to take it for granted that J and the stripper are not the same person...[/size]

About the stripper, well, there's nothing you can do about that. Just smile and amuse yourself with thoughts about how crappy his life will be in ten years or less.

As for J, I think J needs to realize that, well, you can't exactly be the "perfect boyfriend" for J if you keep shoving J off, right? Tell J that...and then ignore J, just to get your point across. This relationship cannot be healthy on either end, and it can never make either of you happy. And that's kinda what relationships should be, right? People that LIKE one another, and are happy in one anothers's company?

...that there's my two cents. Good luck.

[SilverPrince offline]

That's a big help, Carth. I was kinda gonna yell at J before, but now I think I'll take a kinder approach.

[Taelia offline]

Sorry about your day, my friend.

Oh, by the way, do you have AOL Instant Mesenger?

[SilverPrince offline]

Thank you, and I'm afraid I do not.

[Taelia offline]

Awww nuts!

[SilverPrince offline]

Today was really not a good day.

I just heard that my grandmother has passed away. She was 84 years old. I've never cried like this before... she's in a better place now, no more pain, she's with her husband again. I loved her so much... I knew it would happen but I kept saying that it wouldn't. It was even my mother's birthday today. She was my father's mother, but we're all grieving.

I feel so bad. I should have called her more. She loved me so much... and I loved her so much.

Rest in Peace, grandma.
July 19th, 1923 - February 19th, 2008

[Carth]

You really are having a bad day! *comforts...somehow*

I hope none of my grandparents die soon...

[SilverPrince offline]

All of a sudden I feel so shallow. I was griping about strippers and exes before and now this.

And I'm feeling kinda emo now, too. But let's not think about that. I need to do my English homework... I know she wanted me to get through school. School's important. And thanks, Carth. Every thought counts.

[Taelia offline]

I'm sorry too, buddy.

[SilverPrince offline]

Thanks so much. I shouldn't be sad... she wouldn't have wanted to see me cry.

[JesusFreak offline]

Woo boy...

I sympathize.


That's all I really can say right now.

[SilverPrince offline]

Today, we had visitation. So at 1 PM we all went to the funeral home, and in an hour half the family was there. It was like every family reunion- "Whoa! Is that you? I haven't seen you since you were this big!" "When did you get so tall?" "Wow, you're so big now! I must be old." As you can tell, I used to be very small. I still kinda am, but not as much.

Grandma's favorite color is red. She had on red lipstick, and she was wearing this pretty red pant-suit thing. A lot of the flowers were red, too. Tomorrow, at the actual funeral, I'll be wearing a red undershirt and tie with my suit. Her favorite bird was the cardinal, so there were some fake ones in the flowers. It reminds me of the last Christmas present I got her, a sweater with a cardinal made of shiny sequins on it.

The minister came in and asked us about how she had lived her life, to give him information for a eulogy. We told him about how she was a wonderful cook (best pecan pie ever) and how she was loving but stubborn, and how she loved to garden... the minister didn't understand it. He made me feel... uncomfortable. Honestly, I think my dad (Grandma's youngest son) should do it.

After the afternoon visitation, we took a little break. We decided to go to a bar- kinda unorthodox, but... you know. Obviously, I didn't drink. Then, we went back for another two hours, and there were less people. After a while, my older brother, older sister and I just went outside and cried. Somehow, I wasn't cold. It's winter in Michigan at night, but somehow I didn't feel the cold. They were smoking, but I just stood there and talked and cried.

My mom told me how, the night after Grandma passed, her magic 8-ball kept shaking, so she talked to grandma through it, telling her that her kids and the family would be OK. And just today, my sister asked it if Grandma was there with her and it said yes. So when I got home I got the 8-ball and talked to grandma with it. I don't know if I believe in all that kinda stuff... but it made me feel better.

"Are you here with me, Grandma? In spirit?" "Without a doubt"
"You know that I love you, and that everyone loves you and misses you?" "It is decidedly so"
"Are you proud of me, and your other grandchildren, and of the whole family?" "My sources say yes"

I don't know why I'm explaining to you all this, but that's what Rant is for, isn't it? A way for you to get your emotions out, without needing to be logical about it? And I'll probably post about the funeral tomorrow, too.

[Rail Runner offline]

I am so sorry to hear about all of this. You have the right attitude about it, which will definitely help you to get through it. We are here for you, just let us know how we can help.

[JesusFreak offline]

Ugh, that reminds me of when my Great-Grandpa died. He and Gramma LOVED red.

Yes, it's a good thing to grieve. Just don't, and I'm sure you won't, keep the grief longer than you feel you should. Keep your Grandmother's memory alive, and remember how she would want you to feel about her passing.

[Carth]

What he says. She'd want you to have a good, successful life, not one spent in mourning for longer than necessary. It's good that you posted all this- it's always better to let stuff out, rather than keep it bottled in.

*hugs for no real reason*

[SilverPrince offline]

Thanks y'all. It's amazing how a bunch of people I've never seen or met can help.

Today was the funeral. I got in my suit (with a red undershirt and tie) and we drove to the funeral home. I was a pallbearer, along with my older brother, older sister, some woman I didn't know, but I've seen her at family reunions, and my stepmother's brother in law. (We needed a sixth pallbearer). As I predicted earlier, the minister giving the euology messed it up bad.

He got her high school wrong, he got the year she was married wrong, he even messed up the day she died! He said "She was born on July 19th, 1923, and she was called home on February the 25th." How is she supposed to have died the day of her funeral? It made me so upset. What I also found weird was that I didn't cry. Here I am at the funeral of my grandmother, with whom I was very close, and I barely shed a tear. I guess it was just because I wasn't much of a crier, or that I got all the tears out yesterday. My dad and two uncles (Grandma's sons) went up to the casket afterwards and held each other. I'm worried about Grandma's oldest. She was taking care of him (he's a real bad diabetic) and he doesn't know what he's gonna do now.

Then all of us pallbearers got up and picked up the casket. Grandma was a short little thing, but that casket was heavy. We got her in the hearse and I rode in a cool Cadillac at the head of the motorcade thing with the other pallbearers. We went to the cemetery and placed her in that thingy they put the casket on above the grave. The minister read the "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" thing.

After that, we all went to the VFW home (Grandma was an army wife, her husband served in WWII and Korea- she outlived him by 41 years) and there was a luncheon. Let me tell you, my family can cook. As much of a Yankee as I am, half my family is descended from southerners, Grandma hailed from southern Missouri. And we all ate. That food was so good, it melted all the grief away. Sure, it might have shaved a year or too off of my life, but cholesterol didn't matter then. After that, I have everyone hugs and came home.

[JesusFreak offline]

I'm glad everything worked out for you.