Confusions And Stuff Like That

[Carth]

Uh...hi. As those of you that have read my previous rants probably know, I have some issues. Most of them are self-created, and entirely stupid, like my irrational fear of annoying people (which stems from a past event...but that's a story for another day), uber-sensitivity, and ADHD. This isn't about those- it's about another stupid one that's been bothering me lately.

I know for a fact that I'm straight. I want to be straight. I want to find a guy that I know I love, marry him, and start a family with him. I've had a steady boyfriend for about a year now, even though he lives three states away and the only way I've ever communicated with him is through the Internet. Again, story for another day, and I love him in ways you cannot fathom. But sometimes...well...the mind wanders. Things happen. I think things. You know.

I'M NOT SAYING I'M GAY. I'm not, and I'm going to keep telling myself that. I don't want to be. I just want to know...is this normal, thinking these things now and again and then letting them go? I really hope it is. I know what I want out of life...and I really don't want my body to end up telling me something else. It can work for some people, and I admire that, but I don't want it for me.

Don't take offense at any of this, please. I'm really tired right now, I'm surprised if i make a lick of sense. Just...needed to get that out of my system. Sigh...

I'm screwed up. I really am.

[DL offline]

So you saw a hot chick and though "Hey! I want to FHUTA!" There is a difference between attraction and love, just because you think someone's hot it don't mean your gay. Just means they are probably bangin'. Though pics to confirm the hotness of said girl would not be a bad thing, might even be healthy.

But anyway, don't worry. You love a guy and your a girl then your straight. Think a girl is good looking, means nothing. Well from what you said it does.

[. offline]

You've answered your own question. It's a soul question it really is as much as a physical one. If you feel it in your heart that your gay, your gay. like wise, you seem admenmant that dispite this spirring or whatever attraction is that your still straight. So I'd say, you still sexually attracted to males your good to go girl.

That being said, I"m a guy and female sexuality could be entire different bag of problems I don't know.

One more thought, thousands of people have dirty little sexual quirks to them. I'm willing to bet that everyone on this forum deffinatly have one or two mental fantasies they'll take to the grave with them. It's normal, just a societal taboo.

and looky, Im in before my buddy JF starts ranting on about you know who. (I'm teasing buddy)

[timekitten offline]

You're not screwed up, IMHO. It's like having thoughts of murder does not make one a murderer. I have gay feelings myself sometimes, and I'm sure others do too (but hey, nobody want to be labeled). Don't worry about it. Beating yourself up over it only makes you feel worse.

[Rail Runner offline]

Its perfectly normal Carth, feelings are just that, feelings. As long as you know that you love your boyfriend, then that is what really matters. We are totally here for you.

[Nightsabre offline]

Carth, don't worry about it. It happens to everyone once in awhile. You'll eventually grow out of it. Remember it all comes down to two things.

A. Your moral values

&

B. How you want others to treat you

Btw, it's called bi-curious which means you are simply well curious. Nothing wrong with that at all. Also, there is no predefined law saying you must be one or the other. As a Christian I strongly am opposed to the "alternative" choice, but I still respect those who practice it. If you truly love your current boyfriend then don't let it bother you, because the choice should be obivious.

[Carth]

I think I know what you're saying, Nightsabre. I come from a Catholic family, some of whom I wouldn't put past not speaking to me if...yeah.

But, like I said, the feelings come and go, and I'm totally not going to make any sort of life-changing decisions, say, today. Thank you all for the support...at least I know I'm not crazy. ^_^

[Tangent128 offline]

You can't control hormones, and hormones rarely behave they way you'd like.

[Carth]

That's true. Maybe that, and environment. I've been going to an all-girl school for about a year now, isolated from most, if not all male contact besides my dad. Who really knows...

But, what I've decided for now is that I'll just keep going about my business as usual, and if those feelings come, let them come, and, as a yoga teacher once told me, I'll just take them, smile at them, let them go away. Mmyep.

Or I could just go asexual and not have to care about any of it. Yay.

[JesusFreak offline]

and looky, Im in before my buddy JF starts ranting on about you know who. (I'm teasing buddy)

I know you are, but I have no idea what you are talking about.

everyone else has said what I would say, and I have a feeling the Mod Squd has me on survellience whenever I enter a thread like this now. But...

Or I could just go asexual and not have to care about any of it. Yay.

Dun do that. Romance can br an enjoyable part of your life if you keep your feelings in check.

Or it can be the most annoying thing in te universe.

What was I trying to say again?

[Kamekai offline]

and looky, Im in before my buddy JF starts ranting on about you know who. (I'm teasing buddy)

I know you are, but I have no idea what you are talking about.

everyone else has said what I would say, and I have a feeling the Mod Squd has me on survellience whenever I enter a thread like this now. But...

My money's on Fred Phelps?

[Tekirai offline]

(... halfway through typing this post I realised that Nightsabre said something very similar to this. Nevertheless, it might help. xD; I'll keep everything I said intact anyway.)

To be honest, Carthy, I think it might be some form of unconcious curiosity lurking in the back of your head. If that makes sense. xDD; I can't even say for myself that I'm straight. Never felt for a guy in my life. Never felt for a girl either, on that note. Although I find myself wondering 'hmm I wonder what it'd be like to be lesbian' a lot more often than with straight thoughts but I digress. My mind wanders around like that as well. I would go as far as to say that it's PERFECTLY NATURAL. :D (i think)

I really wouldn't worry too much about this, regardless. I think everyone gets this sort of feeling now and then. As I said, it's mainly curiousity. It's something different from what you're used to. Everyone thinks about something they think they'd never do at some point in their lives. And being curious about stuff like that is perfectly normal.

[Carth]

*sigh*

Well, I'm calmer now, and not so worried about this anymore. Males still appear to be on my List of Things To Stare At (right up there with shiny things and things involving meat), which I'm cool with, for the moment. I can't thank you enough for all the advice- you're amazing, all of you. Sometimes, I think that you guys here are one of the only things keeping me sane.

[DeadViolet offline]

Hey, I've got an E-love, too. ^^ Don't feel bad, Carth.

[Vodka's Vengeance offline]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm a guy and though I stick with girls most of the time, I've been attracted to a few other guys and have had my fair share of fantasies. There's nothing wrong with you.

[DeadViolet offline]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm a guy and though I stick with girls most of the time, I've been attracted to a few other guys and have had my fair share of fantasies. There's nothing wrong with you.

Yeah, I've got a BF, but I've seen a few cute anime girls that light my fire. ^^
But they're fake, though........So, I'm okay.

[Sithking Zero offline]

Oh, it's totally normal to let your mind wander from time to time, and wonder things that aren't exactly in the realm of what people call "Straight." I do it from time to time myself, but I'm as straight as they come.

So in truth, you're no more screwed up than I am.

Though, on second thought, should you really be taking advice from someone who has the question of "Who would Win: Ghandi or Bhudda" in his sig?

[JesusFreak offline]

Though, on second thought, should you really be taking advice from someone who has the question of "Who would Win: Ghandi or Bhudda" in his sig?

It would be a tie because nobody would throw the first punch.

[. offline]

Though, on second thought, should you really be taking advice from someone who has the question of "Who would Win: Ghandi or Bhudda" in his sig?

It would be a tie because nobody would throw the first punch.

What if they where playing a game of curling?

[Sithking Zero offline]

Though, on second thought, should you really be taking advice from someone who has the question of "Who would Win: Ghandi or Bhudda" in his sig?

It would be a tie because nobody would throw the first punch.

What if they where playing a game of curling?

I was thinking in terms of a boxing match, but I think that they'd be pretty evenly matched... Bhudda might have a slight advantage (if we're going in terms of what he's depicted as) due to his weight...

[. offline]

Boxing's lame. How about a Mixed Martial Arts battle in the octagon cage?

Buddah would so win.

[Sithking Zero offline]

Meh... I'd say Ghandi would. He's got the stamina. He hiked to the sea to get his own salt. Bhudda sat under a tree, not eating, until he could feel his spine through his stomach. That couldn't have been good for his health...

[JesusFreak offline]

Most definitely it would be Ghandi. let's face it, Bhudda was morbidly obese, if we're going by representations in art. He night be large, but his stamina wwould most likely give out pretty early in any match.


How about Super Smash Brothers Brawl?

I'm thinking Ghandi would in all likelyhood pick Meta Knight. Bhudda might pick Lucario.

[Sithking Zero offline]

I agree on Bhudda picking Lucario (both focus on "Aura" or "Spirit," or whatever, and meditation and stuff) but I'm not sure that Ghandi would pick Meta Knight. He seems too... violent. I was actually thinking Marth, 'cause he's a prince, doesn't seem that violent, and has a deflector, which I think would be more important to Ghandi than fighting.

[JesusFreak offline]

Hm, never thought of it that way, I was thinking MK because of his "stealth" and preference for elegance over brute force. I agree on Marth.

Anoher option are the space animals from Star Fox, especially Fox. Reflector could work out well.


Then again, Ness/Lucas would also work because of all the PSI stuff and PSI Magnet.