Worst summer ever

[TheLQ offline]

This by far has to be the worst summer ever. See were doing a remodel, and its taking forever. 2 months before summer started my dad said for me to get a job or i'm working for him (he owns a business, so theirs 2x the work). Now i thought i would have some time to get one when school was over. I thought wrong, and dad forced me to work for him. On top of that, he's making me volunteer at out local VA hospital (hospital for veterans of the military). Now I see nothing wrong with volunteering Its the working thats bugging me. I get up a 7 and stop around 8 from Monday to Saturday, sometimes Sunday. I have no "me" time, where i can do what ever i want. There have been tons of times dad sits on his butt while i work. Its worse then school, where i go to school, do homework, do chores, and have alot of time by myself.

I just can't take it anymore. He has tons of other issues, like "brick wallness", where no matter what you say to him you can't change his mind. Every time i tlak to him i take two steps backword. It takes my counselor to convince him to do anything, even she has trouble.

Speaking of my counselor, its annoying me when i say "dad, i want to see here in 2 weeks" and a month later having him finally schedule it. The reason he has to is because he has a very complicated schedule due to his business and the fact that he wants to schedule it himself.

I dunno if you all can help me, but every day i just want to run away, the only thing stopping me is that i seem never to have my wallet.

[Rail Runner offline]

I wish I knew what to tell you about your situation, but seeing as how young you are, you really dont have much of a choice in the matter.

[. offline]

I'd tell you to stop being selfish. Do you realize how difficult it is to find a summer job in this market? Do you know how thankful I would of been to be given a job on a silver platter with no BS interviews?

Your only complaint should be if your not making minimum wage. <.<

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

I agree with Piper, I am just getting at the schedule at the Y.. Its not easy finding a summer job at all... I would appreciate the being handed a job and getting money that I need for college, and to buy my own gas and stuff... Not having to mooch off of my mom and dad... I am working two jobs... And you are sitting here complaining when you have been handed a job, have the ability to make money, so you have the money for the things you want. Get your head on straight, stop being selfish... It is no fun sitting at home day after day... To be quite honest it is as boring as frickin heck... I should know I have been doing it for half the summer because they have cut our hours back at my one job and I don't start working until this coming monday for my other job.. I go back to school in 24 days.... I need money lol...

Sorry if this seems harsh, but this is reality, not some virtual world... Umm sorry for the lame analogy...

The only advice I can offer is do the best that you can, and make the best of it... It will look good on your reseme... Also don't whine and complain because that is very unprofessional even if your boss is your dad... I hope things get better for you. We are here for you... ^_^

[Rhyme offline]

I wouldn't say he's being selfish. Sure it's hard to find a job, but once you are out in the real world you no longer have a summer vacation. From 1-17 years old or if you go to college add 4 more years you get a summer break. Though most people tend to get part time jobs over the summer but you can't start that till you're 14. So lets say you're not 22 and out of college set for your first job in a career. Now you have the REST of your life till retirement to WORK WORK WORK! These days retirement is up to like 72 so that's a good 50 years of your life with NO MORE SUMMER VACATIONS.

I use to work construction when I was a kid living at home because my dad too had a business. Yet he would only let me work 2 days at most and that's because I wanted too. The money was REALLY good to. (He didn't want to have to pay me too much, lol) 2 days doing labor is enough though. Youth is meant for you to have fun because it's the shortest part of your life. Being 26 years old now I HATE having to work Monday - Friday every week 9-5. It's stressful, I have no vacation time since I'm a temp and the bills never go away.

My suggestion is to really try and sit down with your dad. First commend him for being a good caring father (even if you don't feel this way it would seem he cares to some extent). Tell him you understand the benefit of hard work and that you value what he's done by giving you a job. Then explain to him what I stated above. That youth is the shortest part of ones life and that after school is all over for you, you will be working hard for at least the next 50 years with no more summer vacation until you're too old to actually enjoy it. Let him know that you are happy to work for him, but request kindly that he lower your hours so that you might enjoy what's left of your childhood years.

Remember to remain calm and understanding. See things from his view point and request kindly that he tries to see things from yours.

[TheLQ offline]

I agree with Piper, I am just getting at the schedule at the Y.. Its not easy finding a summer job at all... I would appreciate the being handed a job and getting money that I need for college, and to buy my own gas and stuff... Not having to mooch off of my mom and dad... I am working two jobs... And you are sitting here complaining when you have been handed a job, have the ability to make money, so you have the money for the things you want. Get your head on straight, stop being selfish... It is no fun sitting at home day after day... To be quite honest it is as boring as frickin heck... I should know I have been doing it for half the summer because they have cut our hours back at my one job and I don't start working until this coming monday for my other job.. I go back to school in 24 days.... I need money lol...

Err, i'm not making any money. I wouldn't be complaining if i was making money.

Rhyme, there is absolutly no way that i can change my dads opinion, I've tried for years.

The thing that stinks is that both of my parents (thier divorced) are starting to use violence, something that they haven't done before (i'm not talking about spankings, like kneeing and throwing stuff). So i'm pretty scared of my parents, while hating them for doing this.

Another thing is that i really like computers. That is something my dad exploiting, saying i need a's and b's in order to get on. To date i've not been able to get on at my dads house for about a year now. Its getting ridiculus. He's basically shooting down my dreams saying that i'll never be able to do it. You don't do that to your son. I've given up tring to prove to him that i'm something, and just waiting until i get out of my parents house and finnaly be something in life.

[Rhyme offline]

That's really sad My parents divorced when I was like 5 and my mother is a drug user and sex abuser. Same with her drinking, but the worst is that she sleeps around. Also she never passed the 8th grade. When I was growing up my dad would tell me I was going to grow up to be just like her. He was trying to use reverse psychology because really I was a good kid. Yet in stead all it did was make me feel worthless even now into my adult years. Sadly I have 5 mental disabilities so that makes it even harder when I get depressed.

Either way you have to learn to depend on yourself more and say positive affirmations to help you get by. My fav is telling myself I have unlimited potential. That statement just puts a smile on my face. Also talking to other people that you feel comfortable with helps.

In my case I left home at 16 and ended up with my boyfriend at the time who was 31. We were together for 8.5 years married 3.5 of that 8.5 so it ended up working out for me. I wouldn't recommend just leaving home if you have no were to go, but you could always talk to child care services and find a placement home if you wanted to get out of that situation. If you choose to stay in that situation there isn't to much anyone can do for you except to comfort you and such. Normally since I'm a Minister I would tell you to seek out God, but since you're more then likely under age I really shouldn't preach to you either.

Just know that you are not alone and others have gone through similar things. Keep a journal for yourself and write out all your feelings. That is one thing that has always helped me. I mean it's not a girl thing either. Remember Urlich has a journal .

[TheLQ offline]

Once i can get a job, i can depend on myself. But thats going to be hard, as my grades aren't really good, and thats all that my dad sees. He thinks grades are everything. I'm nothing if i have an F.

And running away isn't going to help. At least here in KY if you run away you parents can send the cops after you. One of my friends ran away for about a week before getting caught. They actually arrest you. So running away isn't an option.

And i think negative. Always have. Negative helps me, as it'll make me appreciate getting out of the house more.

[Rhyme offline]

My Dad did send the cops, but then he let me live with my grandmother. I didn't want to stay so I left again and she didn't want me to live in state custody so she just let me go. I'm normally a negative thinker too. I'm bi-polar, OCD, ADHD, manic depression and seasonal depression. I tend to find myself as being worthless, not lovable, a failure among other things.

Yet I've learned that sometimes it's important to think positive. So even just knowing that there is an end to the situation that in itself is a positive thought.

[matsumo itsu offline]

Your Dad is making a major mistake weather or not he realizes it, But if you really can not do anything id just say live with it untill you got a chance to leave.

[TheLQ offline]

Almost forgot about this topic...


Anyway, here's an update on whats happening. The house has to be finished by August 23rd, because theirs an open house thing on that date. Now, school starts on the 13th. Bit of a problem here. If he plans to make us work as hard as i did this week, he's mistaken.

Thiers also another thing, because the open house is on the 23rd, and its the 9th now, theirs a cirtian amount of panic involved. He made us work from 7:00AM to around 8:00PM. Now thats great if your making money, but not so great if your not. He expects us to work like that for 6 days straight. He also expects us to work as hard as the people that are working on our house.

This is where i got frustrated; i told him that he shouldn't make a 15 year old work as hard as the 33 year old adult that was working on your house at the time. I talked for 10 seconds. He then interrupted me, saying i was whining, and asked if their was anything to talk about. When i told him this is why i can never talk to him, he said i was whining and asked again if their was anything to talk about.

This is what i'm talking about. He listens to the first 10-15 seconds of what i'm about to say, then retreats, makes up a decision, interrupts me, executes said decision, and its over. What was accomplished?

Later, we got into a discussion about something, and i brought up why i can't talk to him. He then said "Because your full of sh*t!". (This is where i tell you that anything contradicts his view of life is wrong). We talked some more and i asked him to name one thing that has been accomplished when i talked to him ever. He said he can't think of any, and asked me why. I told him that he is the hardest person i have ever met to convince of anything. He took that as a compliment.

[. offline]

Almost forgot about this topic...


Anyway, here's an update on whats happening. The house has to be finished by August 23rd, because theirs an open house thing on that date. Now, school starts on the 13th. Bit of a problem here. If he plans to make us work as hard as i did this week, he's mistaken.

Thiers also another thing, because the open house is on the 23rd, and its the 9th now, theirs a cirtian amount of panic involved. He made us work from 7:00AM to around 8:00PM. Now thats great if your making money, but not so great if your not. He expects us to work like that for 6 days straight. He also expects us to work as hard as the people that are working on our house.

This is where i got frustrated; i told him that he shouldn't make a 15 year old work as hard as the 33 year old adult that was working on your house at the time. I talked for 10 seconds. He then interrupted me, saying i was whining, and asked if their was anything to talk about. When i told him this is why i can never talk to him, he said i was whining and asked again if their was anything to talk about.

This is what i'm talking about. He listens to the first 10-15 seconds of what i'm about to say, then retreats, makes up a decision, interrupts me, executes said decision, and its over. What was accomplished?

Later, we got into a discussion about something, and i brought up why i can't talk to him. He then said "Because your full of sh*t!". (This is where i tell you that anything contradicts his view of life is wrong). We talked some more and i asked him to name one thing that has been accomplished when i talked to him ever. He said he can't think of any, and asked me why. I told him that he is the hardest person i have ever met to convince of anything. He took that as a compliment.

Why don't you just demand payment then <.<

[TheLQ offline]

Is that a rhetorical question?

If not, my dad's just going to say like every other time, "Your payment a roof over your head and food on the table".

[emoBillâ„¢ offline]

Wow, this is worse than my dad!

Franz: Aelita, move that box over there!
Aelita: But Daaaaad...I'm playing this cool new game called Code Lyoko!
Franz: Oh, okay.

But seriously, I can't even believe he cursed at you like that. I wish I had some advice but this is pretty bad. I guess just do what he said and work, and when you're done...uh...start looking for next year's summer job right away.

Yeah, I'm not very helpful.

*hugs Xana's Fist as apology*

[Bootch offline]

Almost forgot about this topic...


Anyway, here's an update on whats happening. The house has to be finished by August 23rd, because theirs an open house thing on that date. Now, school starts on the 13th. Bit of a problem here. If he plans to make us work as hard as i did this week, he's mistaken.

Thiers also another thing, because the open house is on the 23rd, and its the 9th now, theirs a cirtian amount of panic involved. He made us work from 7:00AM to around 8:00PM. Now thats great if your making money, but not so great if your not. He expects us to work like that for 6 days straight. He also expects us to work as hard as the people that are working on our house.

This is where i got frustrated; i told him that he shouldn't make a 15 year old work as hard as the 33 year old adult that was working on your house at the time. I talked for 10 seconds. He then interrupted me, saying i was whining, and asked if their was anything to talk about. When i told him this is why i can never talk to him, he said i was whining and asked again if their was anything to talk about.

This is what i'm talking about. He listens to the first 10-15 seconds of what i'm about to say, then retreats, makes up a decision, interrupts me, executes said decision, and its over. What was accomplished?

Later, we got into a discussion about something, and i brought up why i can't talk to him. He then said "Because your full of sh*t!". (This is where i tell you that anything contradicts his view of life is wrong). We talked some more and i asked him to name one thing that has been accomplished when i talked to him ever. He said he can't think of any, and asked me why. I told him that he is the hardest person i have ever met to convince of anything. He took that as a compliment.

At some point, I, would stop and refuse to work for him until he resolves all these issues he's creating by being insufferable... But then, this might not be right for ya, as it might force his hand and make the situation worse.

I know theres a divorce involved here, but has your mother said anything about the inhuman restrictions your father is putting on your life?

[DL offline]

Is that a rhetorical question?

If not, my dad's just going to say like every other time, "Your payment a roof over your head and food on the table".

I'm not up on family law in KY but I am fairly certain that the law says he provide those two particular things...

[TheLQ offline]

I'm not up on family law in KY

Location: Sector 7 AKA The Doomsday Sector masked as a military instalation in (somewhere)

...

anyway, refusing to work isn't going to solve my problems. my dads plenty strong enough and willing enough to use violence to get me to work.

I think though i'll suck it up till its over. B*tching and moaning isn't going to solve anything, especially when the person i'm moaning about is the most stubborn person i've ever met.

EDIT, If anybodys going to read this, heres and update:

This is proof of dads brick wallness. I emailed him this link to prove that the ftp server i was going to install on my computer was safe:
http://forum.filezilla-project.org/view ... f=2&t=7834
I told him that botg is on of the admins of the project, so he knows what he's saying.

This is the response i got back:
It troubles me that you are not making it clear your age and that the network person is your Dad. The answer is still no.