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Code Invidious

For fanfic writers/readers. Post your fics, or recommend one that you thought was good!

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Do I need a better chapter 1?

Poll ended at Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:29 am

yes
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no
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Total votes : 0

Code Invidious

Postby Tosann » Thu Aug 09, 2007 11:29 am

Rated: E+10 for ages ten and up.

Following the warthog incident a week ago, the team leaves to explore the replica. However on the way there they encounter some problems. Who are Michael and Sakura? Why are they heavily armed? Then they come to Kadic. Ohh, this may be a problem. Four chapters are completed and deployed.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3695692/1/Code_Invidious

Personally, I think I need a better first chapter, but tell me what you think in a review.
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Postby Yumi Ulrich » Thu Aug 16, 2007 8:30 pm

Hay I liked it. 8) But I do think it could use some changes. :no:

:wag: Like maybe add some more detail in the paragraphs.
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