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What Do You Think Of This?
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What Do You Think Of This?
by Saphire-089 » Fri Jul 22, 2005 2:33 pm
I feel as if something is wrong with this story. Could someone give me an opinion on this story?
Last edited by Saphire-089 on Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
*Avatar was made by deviant art user rinrinyan
by SamBlob » Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:35 pm
Just finished the first two chapters. Thus far, it ain't my cup o' meat. Apart from it generally not being my bag, which is strictly a matter of my opinion, there's a strange feeling of choppiness to it, as if it doesn't flow very smoothly.
My LF family:
Mother: StarWay
FairlyOddSister: CBIzumi
Awesome little sister: Mewberries151
Big sister with whom I often quarrel: Linii-chan
Mad scientist little brother: X1
Favourite cousin: Ransomed_Heart
Keeper of heraldic arms: Doggiegal (actually, I do my own coat of arms now...)
all welcome in Room#420
Mother: StarWay
FairlyOddSister: CBIzumi
Awesome little sister: Mewberries151
Big sister with whom I often quarrel: Linii-chan
Mad scientist little brother: X1
Favourite cousin: Ransomed_Heart
Keeper of heraldic arms: Doggiegal (actually, I do my own coat of arms now...)
all welcome in Room#420
by Alex » Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:52 pm
It's good, but you cut out two years... You can't do that without having flashbacks or something...
I am the one known as NeoDude in a past life.
---
When you lose your imagination, you lose a part of yourself you can never get back. Never give up, and never accept the mundane. And never stop yourself from dreaming...
---
When you lose your imagination, you lose a part of yourself you can never get back. Never give up, and never accept the mundane. And never stop yourself from dreaming...
by MY85 » Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:59 pm
NeoDude0 wrote:It's good, but you cut out two years... You can't do that without having flashbacks or something...
That "two years" part isn't very well explained. Unless that counts as "Two years after Team Lyoko met Aelita". I remember that by the end of Season 1, they had met her for more than a year. Can't remember the name of the episode, but at the end, they were celebrating their first year with Aelita.
Lani wrote:Eh, in the end, people (real or cartoon) are naked and having a good time. What's wrong with that?
by lyokowarriorteen20010 » Sat Apr 15, 2006 12:07 am
Dude to judge this story I need you to email it to me my mom banded me from fanfiction.net. 
. My email adress is pilot4him2005@yahoo.com
. My email adress is pilot4him2005@yahoo.comBlank slate soon to be wrote on.
by Mewberries151 » Sat Apr 15, 2006 1:33 am
Please do not bump old threads just to request things like that. Use the PM system instead. Thank you. 
"Hey, make up your mind. Am I a genius or a creep?"
"You're a creepy genius."
-Odd and Jeremie; "Cruel Dilemma", Code Lyoko
Icon made by boxofdoomage @ LJ
"You're a creepy genius."
-Odd and Jeremie; "Cruel Dilemma", Code Lyoko
Icon made by boxofdoomage @ LJ
by lyokowarriorteen20010 » Sat Apr 15, 2006 3:50 pm
Sorry for double posting but I tried to get on the stry and it said that the story was not ther
Blank slate soon to be wrote on.
by Saphire-089 » Sat Apr 15, 2006 5:46 pm
lyokowarriorboy2005 wrote:Sorry for double posting but I tried to get on the stry and it said that the story was not ther
Sorry. I took it down because I was going nowhere with it.
RoDrInCuBuS wrote:It's not bad, but it's Aelita, not Aileta as you put on your fic.
It was probably A typo.^^
*Avatar was made by deviant art user rinrinyan
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