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Something I might develop more

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Something I might develop more

Postby TheAppleFreak » Wed Jan 16, 2013 2:02 am

I felt like I was in the drabbling mood tonight, so here's the beginning of a fix I might develop! It's around the time of the Season 2 episode Ultimatum. Reviews would be appreciated, especially since I'm not a very experienced writer.



Ever since working out the bugs in the code, the Super Scan had been almost infallible. It reliably detected and alerted Jeremy to the exact location of each activated tower, allowing them to quickly and easily save the day. But if only they knew how vulnerable they were if its alert delivery method were to fail…

It had been quick work dispatching the two computers in the young boy’s room. An unexplained electrical surge on the main computer here, a quick overvolting of the laptop battery there, and voila! He would be none the wiser of my activities. The creation of the brown-haired specter was also a fast job, but when world domination can be easily ruined by a meddlesome and surprisingly competent group of kids, time is of the essence.

Between my assaults on their own world, during my attempts to cover up Project Carthage’s tracks, I had often wondered how to best break apart their group. The girl and the brown haired boy showed the greatest tension between the two, through which I could easily toy with their human emotions. Yet why toy with the fighters when I could toy with the means of their virtual survival? A more creative solution would be in order.

I saw potential in one opportunity given to me in the form of the whiny girl and her father. A strong, yet also strained relationship. I almost found it interesting how she latched on to the brown haired kid, seemingly to fill the void left by the absence of her mother. However, no matter my actions, the damn jump back in time would always undo what I started, impede my ultimate goals…

That would be no more as of tonight. The girl was light, maybe a shade over 50 kg, and with a little bit of electric shock therapy she would remember none of it. Stealth would not be as important as usual, with all of the locks electromagnetically sealed shut and all of the kids asleep during the late night hours. As my corporeal form descended into the school quad, I fled into the night. I was one with the shadows, separate from the sound.

And before I could even begin to comprehend the thrill of the rush, we were there. Had I not been focused on my imminent task, I would have possibly stopped to appreciate the monuments these humans built for themselves, maybe even finding the large, looming factory housing the mad architect’s opus possibly impressive. But for everything the humans could do in years, I could do in microns. All of the grandeur in the world held nothing to what I could do if I even spared a cycle in the vastness of the Digital Sea. People would fantasize of holding the power of a god; how great it is to actually be one.

As the hermetically sealed doors slid away to the soft yellow light of the scanner room, I placed the unconscious girl into one of the giant metal tubes. Knowing my job there was done, sped up to the terminal room. Predictably, the Super Scan was blaring its alarm to deaf ears. Dismissing it and clearing the scan logs with a single keystroke, I set to work. The process started out slow as I recalled the exact series of keystrokes to input, but as soon as everything had loaded into RAM the specter’s hands flew over the keyboard many times faster than Jeremy ever could.

As the faint hum from the scanner subsided, I retrieved the girl and brought her back to the school. Seeing no more reason to expend my influence over the real world, I shut down the tower and felt as my body lifted away into nothingness. I needed to regroup my strength if I was to make an impression on the girl.

For what good is a return to the past if you still remember what had happened?
I really gotta fix up this theme
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Re: Something I might develop more

Postby Soul Jelly » Wed Jan 16, 2013 11:10 am

I like it a lot! The writing style works well for XANA's POV; quite technical and observant in parts, but not so much that it gets dry and boring. A very interesting concept too; would love to see where you go with it.
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