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Poetry Journal...Sorta...

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Postby Lani » Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:15 am

WOW! You guys are GREAT poets! ~_^ Unfortunately, poetry is not my forte (but music and picture-drawing is, haw haw), but I did write a poem back in fourth grade that got an honorable mention:

I'm psychic
I know that
A brick fell on your head
Last week.

Yes. I was a sadistic little girl.

Anyway, keep it up and I can't wait for more! :3
we will advance with sword in hand
for our cause is pure
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Postby Shi_Min_Xi » Sat Feb 25, 2006 1:06 am

Muchas gracias Lani ^__^

This is a poem for History...Sadly...It looks nothing like a poem (or atleast my normal ones...) But my teacher approved it...So I dont' really care...Enjoy ^_^

I stare at my money pocket,
Now empty and hollow.
It’s hard to believe,
A few days ago,
It was full and I was as rich as a troll.
“Black Tuesday,â€
Habataku mono wo mukaeru sora/Shihaisareru no wo osoreyashinai/Akogareru mabayusa wa/Subete wo kaeru tame ni/Dare mo yurusazu ni/Doko he yukeru darou?

The sky greets those who fly,I don't fear of being controlled/The dazzling brightness that I aspire for is to change everything/I cannot forgive anyone, where can I go?

-Doubt & Trust, access

Note: Avatar is from Mahou Sentai Magiranger. Watch it. It is made of win.
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Postby Just_Jaine » Sat Feb 25, 2006 1:23 am

RotD I love it how you made it informative as well as interesting. Your poem was great to Stonecreak!

[color=darkblue]I see you staring out the window
I know that something’s wrong
Your eyes look far and distant
As you listen to a song

I want to have the courage
To ask you, “Why are you feeling down?â€
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Postby LadyChaos » Sat Feb 25, 2006 1:47 am

Umm, not really sure why I'm going to post this but...
I wrote the original version back in 8th grade in English class. I re-wrote it recently. I think it comes from an Anne Frank poem, but I won't swear to that. Anyway, this is it. May not be the best as I was following a format but... The best I can really do.


I Am

I am a believer
I hear music in my mind
I see what others may not
I say what I feel
I cry because I am misunderstood
I am a believer

I am what I want to be
I want to travel the world
I need to be free
I hope to be loved
I fear that I will be hated
I am what I want to be

I am unique
I feel restricted
I try to be perfect
I wonder about everything
I dream of what exists far away
I am who I am
not gonna bother coming back

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Postby Shi_Min_Xi » Sun Feb 26, 2006 12:36 am

Thanks Jaine ^_^ I like your poem as well :D

LadyChaos, that really is a great poem...Do you have more? This little thread would love more people contributing and reviewing....
Habataku mono wo mukaeru sora/Shihaisareru no wo osoreyashinai/Akogareru mabayusa wa/Subete wo kaeru tame ni/Dare mo yurusazu ni/Doko he yukeru darou?

The sky greets those who fly,I don't fear of being controlled/The dazzling brightness that I aspire for is to change everything/I cannot forgive anyone, where can I go?

-Doubt & Trust, access

Note: Avatar is from Mahou Sentai Magiranger. Watch it. It is made of win.
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Postby LadyChaos » Sun Feb 26, 2006 12:55 am

Rage_of_the_Dragon wrote:LadyChaos, that really is a great poem...Do you have more? This little thread would love more people contributing and reviewing....


I'm not really that much of a poem writer. I do have one other poem that I could post, but it's really personal. I mean, about as personal as a poem can get. I might post it, but not just yet. It still needs a little bit of work.

I'm glad you liked it, though. :D
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Postby Stonecreek » Sun Feb 26, 2006 6:16 pm

Great batch of poems, everyone. Keep it up, because I've finally exhausted all the old poems good enough to post here and currently have no new ones in the works.
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YDV wrote:Well you see, the amount of time we didn't normally hang around BKO is kind of like potential energy, and then when we all finally came back at the same time it's like letting loose a catapult. 8D

It's all very scientifical. |D


Ah, memories...
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Postby Shi_Min_Xi » Sun Feb 26, 2006 11:24 pm

We....Have....Gotten....TWO....THOUSAND....VIEWS...On....This....Little...Thread....

OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS....WE GOT TWO THOUSAND VIEWS ON THIS THREAD! YAY!!!!!

Since we've pasted 2000 views...I guess now would be a good time to say thanks to certain people...?

Okay...
Many thanks go to...
Jaine - You have commented all my poems and posted much of your own as well...You really helped keep this topic alive
Stonecreek - A major contributer and lots of help for my poems
Numbuh 7 - At one point in time...She use to come here to read our poems...(Apprently she still does (Look at post below)...Thanks much ^_^)
Your De-Virtualization - You've found always time to comment our poems and stuff...

(This list might grow longer with time that passes...)

Thanks guys...You really kept this thread alive and running...Wouldn't it be amazing if we really did get it to 1000 posts...?
Last edited by Shi_Min_Xi on Sun Feb 26, 2006 11:37 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Habataku mono wo mukaeru sora/Shihaisareru no wo osoreyashinai/Akogareru mabayusa wa/Subete wo kaeru tame ni/Dare mo yurusazu ni/Doko he yukeru darou?

The sky greets those who fly,I don't fear of being controlled/The dazzling brightness that I aspire for is to change everything/I cannot forgive anyone, where can I go?

-Doubt & Trust, access

Note: Avatar is from Mahou Sentai Magiranger. Watch it. It is made of win.
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Postby KayLenny#7 » Sun Feb 26, 2006 11:27 pm

I still read some of the poems. I'm just going through some stuff so I don't post much at all (anywhere).
Formerly known as Numbuh 7

I'm out. Have fun homies.
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Postby codeTONY » Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:14 am

Rage_of_the_Dragon wrote:Muchas gracias Lani ^__^

This is a poem for History...Sadly...It looks nothing like a poem (or atleast my normal ones...) But my teacher approved it...So I dont' really care...Enjoy ^_^

I stare at my money pocket,
Now empty and hollow.
[....Later...]
Let’s see what the future has in store for us.
Funny, we just finished the SMC...

Great job guys! I have a few, but I won't post them now.

Maybe l8r? :D
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Postby Shi_Min_Xi » Wed Mar 01, 2006 12:14 am

Okay...This poem I had help with from Jaine (Once again Thanks so much). It was actually from awhile ago that I posted the broken version earlier...Anyways...The bolded part is Jaine's contribution. Enjoy :)

That accursed fire
Was finally put out.
And taking along with it,
My house and relatives.
I escaped with my siblings
And set out to walk in the dark and gloomy night.
My first thought was of shelter.
Thinking who would take us in,
I thought of you
My best friend at this school
I arrived at your doorstep
Looking battered and beaten
I see you staring
With concern in your eyes
At me, the homeless orphan
My voice quivered and shook as I told you the news
That my parents were gone
That I had no place to stay
That my life, had been deleted
Now if ever was the was the time when I needed you the most
To be my friend and get me through this rough time
I wanted to pretend that nothing had ever happed
Letting life’s course run on and just thinking that we were brothers
You woke late one night noticing I was not in bed
I know you heard me sobbing in a distant room
You got up and came to help, but I pushed you away
That night was the night that I found a mask to wear
One that would never show that I fear
I know it hurt you to see me separate myself from you
But by then it was the only thing I could think to do

With tears in my eyes, I instantly regretted what I just did.
I pushed away the only one who cared about me
I didn't even attempt to fix things,
I believed it to be too late
I just stayed in my little corner
And let fatigue overtake me,
I woke up to see, a blanket over me and a note from you.
I didn't want to look at it,
I'm not worthy of your kind and caring soul.
I refused your help
And yet you were persistent
You opened me up
Patiently listen to what I had to say.
Hugging me tightly and running your fingers through my hair.
You never pushed me for more details,
Everything just came out,
I can't hide anything from you,
It's impossible, you know how to coax everything out of me
But you do so in a sneaky manner
Oh how I wish you would kiss me
To capture my lips with yours and claim me as your own
Don't you see the love I have for you?
You're the first one I go to when there's trouble,
You're the only one I trust and rely on
Why must you be so ignorant?
You always know when to stop and give me space
When I needed time alone
The actions I'll do
Everything about me...
But why must my love be a secret from you?
The one thing you don't know about me?
I finally looked at your note,
Lifting the sadness off my shoulders.
As usual, your words always cheer me up.
I don't know what I'll do without you,
You've given me a purpose for living, a hope.
As I walked downstairs,
Ashamed of what I did,
I was instantly greeted by your ever-constant smile
It was as if you've forgotten last night's events...
But I knew you well enough
I just leaned on you, grabbed part of your shirt and started sobbing
I'll never get past the fact my parents are dead.
I'll never get past the fact you don't know my feelings for you
But at least you're still in my life
And for now that's all that matters.

So there it is...I feel for a need of stanzas....Any sugesstions...? Other than that...Enjoy :) and comment please? All comments are welcomed...(Well fine, maybe not flames, but if you MUST post flames then you better post some poetry that shows it's alot better than mine and that you do indeed have the right to insult me in all ways)

(Right...the above thing about flames actually stemmed from an argument with one of my friends...Long story...Don't ask...)

But anyways...Hope you liked it...
Habataku mono wo mukaeru sora/Shihaisareru no wo osoreyashinai/Akogareru mabayusa wa/Subete wo kaeru tame ni/Dare mo yurusazu ni/Doko he yukeru darou?

The sky greets those who fly,I don't fear of being controlled/The dazzling brightness that I aspire for is to change everything/I cannot forgive anyone, where can I go?

-Doubt & Trust, access

Note: Avatar is from Mahou Sentai Magiranger. Watch it. It is made of win.
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Postby Just_Jaine » Wed Mar 01, 2006 12:45 am

Flaming j/k. See look what you did you made me hyper. :hyper: Anyway… down to business. Well sorta.

Hehe that poem was fun to read again. I didn’t realize how long it was! No I don’t feel the need for stanzas. I kind of like it long like that. I’d follow Stonecreak’s advice on this though.
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Postby Stonecreek » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:00 am

They've been linked! I had to go back to page three to see the originals, and I'm glad yuo and Jaine did what yuo did. I always advocate stanzas, and I will here again, but only to make it easier to read. One big block of text can be daunting, especially when packed as full as it is with story and meaning. Very good job.

Just so I have a poem for once, I am dipping into the second-tier poems from my high school days. This one did get published in my school's literary magazine. Looking back on it, it seems primitive compared to my more current efforts. Any thoughts?

Inner Battle

See the light, see the darkness.
See the contrast of the two.
Please do not be timorous
When you look inside of you.

Be it happy or be it sad
Whatever emotion wells up inside.
Understand that neither is bad
And from neither you can hide.

Be it vibrant or be it bleak
Which one do you chose to show?
Is it pain or joy you seek?
Which feeling do you nurture and grow?

Most importantly, which is real?
Which emotion's ofttimes there?
Which is how you truly feel
When you've laid your own soul bare?
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YDV wrote:Well you see, the amount of time we didn't normally hang around BKO is kind of like potential energy, and then when we all finally came back at the same time it's like letting loose a catapult. 8D

It's all very scientifical. |D


Ah, memories...
http://z10.invisionfree.com/Anime_and_M ... hp?act=idx
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Postby Just_Jaine » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:19 am

The idea was great, but I do agree with you, your resent works are much better. I’d be great if you worked those thoughts into a new poem, if you have the time.
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Postby Shi_Min_Xi » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:23 am

Very nice poem there Stonecreek. And a perfect name for it too. I agree with both you and Jaine, your recent works do seem better. I think it'd be awesome if you were to take the idea from this poem and rewrite it again...(that just sounded like Jaine's post doesn't it...?)
Habataku mono wo mukaeru sora/Shihaisareru no wo osoreyashinai/Akogareru mabayusa wa/Subete wo kaeru tame ni/Dare mo yurusazu ni/Doko he yukeru darou?

The sky greets those who fly,I don't fear of being controlled/The dazzling brightness that I aspire for is to change everything/I cannot forgive anyone, where can I go?

-Doubt & Trust, access

Note: Avatar is from Mahou Sentai Magiranger. Watch it. It is made of win.
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Postby Stonecreek » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:27 am

Actually, the frustration at not being able to find my direction and write led me to write a quick poem. Strong emotions spur me on; it's just not always angst like it was in high school. And I'll try to rewirite "Inner Battle." First thing to go will be the rhymes. So, my most current poem (fresh from 5 minutes ago!):

Internal Compass

What is this path you speak of?
I know of no such thoroughfare.
I only follow that which is presented
and am not concerned in how I get there.

Your sympathy is sorely misplaced
I do not need to adhere to your way.
Many others have gone before me
and made it through without delay.

The road does not need to be paved
Its glossy coat only masks what's beneath.
Our country's layered in blank expanses
And tales untold and out of our reach.

Go ahead and consider us lost.
We'll take any upcoming mishaps.
We are misguided miscreants
because we were never given maps.
Image

YDV wrote:Well you see, the amount of time we didn't normally hang around BKO is kind of like potential energy, and then when we all finally came back at the same time it's like letting loose a catapult. 8D

It's all very scientifical. |D


Ah, memories...
http://z10.invisionfree.com/Anime_and_M ... hp?act=idx
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Postby Shi_Min_Xi » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:52 am

Ooohh...Hot of the press...lol

I would LOVE to be in this position right now Stonecreek...But anyways...Great poem as always...

Currently...Jaine and I are writing a poem together...Amazing how some ideas from our older poems got dragged into this one...One of us will post it here...Eventually....Err..I mean...Once we're done and stuff...:D
Habataku mono wo mukaeru sora/Shihaisareru no wo osoreyashinai/Akogareru mabayusa wa/Subete wo kaeru tame ni/Dare mo yurusazu ni/Doko he yukeru darou?

The sky greets those who fly,I don't fear of being controlled/The dazzling brightness that I aspire for is to change everything/I cannot forgive anyone, where can I go?

-Doubt & Trust, access

Note: Avatar is from Mahou Sentai Magiranger. Watch it. It is made of win.
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Postby Just_Jaine » Wed Mar 01, 2006 3:09 am

Ok here is what Rage_of_the_Dragon and I wrote. Comments would be appreciated. Um and this time RotD wrote the bold.

I’m tired of pretending every thing ok
I’m tired of wearing a mask
I’m tired of not being who I really am
Why won't any of you realize that
Something's not right?
That this person you see isn't real?
That all that you know of this person is nothing
Nothing except for lies
Can't any of you numbskulls see this?

Every day as my burden gets heavier
You never stop me, You never ask what’s wrong
A little so much as a hug would reassure me
But do you help?
No

You think our friendship is coming together
But instead it’s falling apart
Will you ever open up your eyes?
And see the reality that's forming between us
Our friendship is in shambles now
I doubt you even realize this
If I'm still fooling you with my mask
I'm fooling you with everything else
I don’t want our friendship to be like this
One full of lies and misleaders
I want our friendship to be one of honesty and trust and caring
But at this rate…
I doubt this will happen


Now when you look at me I turn away
It’s to late I tell my self, to late
If only you had asked me earlier
I could have opened up to you
Now when I need you most you’re gone
You told me told me you would be here for me
Though thick and thin
I guess you weren’t telling the truth

Lies, you were just a liar
But maybe that's how this friendship will work
Both sides just telling lies to the other
But now, I can't keep this up
I want you to know these secrets I hide,
To know the inner me.
But now I know,
There's no dependence from you,
Try as I much as I want,
I know I can't rely on you anymore.
It hurts me a lot to say this
I can only wish it was not true

But what else can I say
No FRIEND of mine would have left me in the dark
Or would they?

A true fried doesn’t walk away
From voiceless cries for help
No they stay,
They’d stay for eternity if they had to.
But maybe
You're a unique person
That doesn't follow the rules society has set down
Maybe this is your way to show that you care,
By giving me space and time alone
Would it be fair of me to judge you like this then?
If what you think what you're doing is the best way a friend should act.

Maybe not,
But then again,
I don't get this feeling from you
It just seems to me that you don't care.
That our friendship is really just a friendship,
A short-lived one that just barely makes us friends.
Perhaps this is the way it was meant to be,
That we couldn't be good friends
Able to rely on each other and hold nothing back.


I’m done with the mask
If you don’t want to know the inner me
Then fine, I don’t have to be your friend
But if you care about me,
Let me know
I am more than willing to let go of this confusion
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Postby YDV » Wed Mar 01, 2006 4:30 pm

...I'm going to cry. No, seriously this time. That was... stunning. (Not to mention I've really felt like that-- uh.. HEY LOOK A MONKEY!)

*cough* Anyways, yeah, that was really awesome. Great job, guys. :thumbs up:
BEHHHH
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Postby Shi_Min_Xi » Wed Mar 01, 2006 5:34 pm

Yay, I can finally read the ending to our poem :) (Don't ask...I fell asleep during the writing process...) Awesome job Jaine for the parts you wrote and thanks for posting it up for us :)

Thanks YDV! (You're back!...Wondering where you went...)
Habataku mono wo mukaeru sora/Shihaisareru no wo osoreyashinai/Akogareru mabayusa wa/Subete wo kaeru tame ni/Dare mo yurusazu ni/Doko he yukeru darou?

The sky greets those who fly,I don't fear of being controlled/The dazzling brightness that I aspire for is to change everything/I cannot forgive anyone, where can I go?

-Doubt & Trust, access

Note: Avatar is from Mahou Sentai Magiranger. Watch it. It is made of win.
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Postby Just_Jaine » Wed Mar 01, 2006 7:02 pm

Stonecreak that was wonderful! The last stanza was my favorite. I would have posted this last night but I felt that RotD and my poem need to be posted separately because we worked on it together. So anyway… that’s my review.
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Postby Stonecreek » Thu Mar 02, 2006 11:08 pm

These joint efforts are getting good, guys. I really felt the message in the last one. Some end punctuation besides the ? could have helped flow slightly, but a very solid job. I'm a bit sleepy, so no poem from me this time. I still have fics to finish, hopefullly by Sunday. I will not be on for all of next week due to going home for spring break, so I must get some things done around here, and posting a NEW poem is one. The fics, entering the next caption contest, and etc. I've gone off topic, so I'll close by reiterating - you're a great duo!
Image

YDV wrote:Well you see, the amount of time we didn't normally hang around BKO is kind of like potential energy, and then when we all finally came back at the same time it's like letting loose a catapult. 8D

It's all very scientifical. |D


Ah, memories...
http://z10.invisionfree.com/Anime_and_M ... hp?act=idx
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Postby Lani » Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:22 am

That last one was great! :O~ It really sounds like something I would angst about if this was like five or six months ago...

Great job once again! ^_^
we will advance with sword in hand
for our cause is pure
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Postby Just_Jaine » Sat Mar 04, 2006 6:37 pm

This is a strange little poem. Thank you to all of you who commented on Shi_Min_Xi and my last poem.

Hot water rolls down your head
As you stand there thinking
Thinking nothing can go wrong

You’re in your own little world
A world created by you
For you alone
And no one can take it from you

It’s your retreat
A place were hide
You can cry
And no one can see you
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Postby Shi_Min_Xi » Sun Mar 05, 2006 11:19 am

Okay, this is another joint effort from Jaine and me. It's the longest poem we've wrote (and defintly mine as well, almost 5 pages on Word, 1111 words!) My stuff in bold, Jaine's not. Read, comment and enjoy ^__^

There's no one left
No one to talk to
Who that understands how I feel
I'm isolated on an island
And no ship is coming my way
I try to scream,
But sadly, there's no one to hear me,
A loner is what I've been marked as.
But of course, with idiots like these,
It's no wonder they say that

None of them realize, the pain I'm in.
That I wish to be near someone,
Someone who can help me, someone who I can trust

Being the new one is never easy,
To build foundations with people and cut into a group of friends.

The people I hang out with
Don't really want to be with me
And even if they accept me
I can’t tell them what's on my mind

I can’t stand being alone for another second
I need to go to someone
But who?
The 'friends' I know
Or someone else
[b]There’s really not much difference.
Sure, my “friendsâ€
Habataku mono wo mukaeru sora/Shihaisareru no wo osoreyashinai/Akogareru mabayusa wa/Subete wo kaeru tame ni/Dare mo yurusazu ni/Doko he yukeru darou?

The sky greets those who fly,I don't fear of being controlled/The dazzling brightness that I aspire for is to change everything/I cannot forgive anyone, where can I go?

-Doubt & Trust, access

Note: Avatar is from Mahou Sentai Magiranger. Watch it. It is made of win.
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