First recommendation: I would recommend somehow separating the last long ramble into a few paragraphs, if only to make it easier to read. And the switch  should usually start a new paragraph as well. (Don't forget the spell check and grammar check!)

Other than that, good job. Still having trouble following the plot because of all the new plot elements (characters, mostly), but then again, I always did.

Author's Response: Fixed that, problem with LFF not me. Oh well