[Report This]Date: May 22, 2008 05:44 AM Title: Chapter 1
yay!!!
and ya i do wnt a 3rd fic/story about flora, maybe you know just showing her as part of thegroup in kadic, fightning xana, you know "normal" stff
Author's Response: Ok! It'll be K+ agen, too, so don't worry!
[Report This]Date: May 03, 2008 06:12 AM Title: Chapter 5
well,i dont know him, but danny seeems to deserve it!
PS. Idle hands are
Devil's handy work”
Author's Response: Yay! Some body actlly lookd it up! I ment to write it in, but mabye it can fit some whre else...
[Report This]Date: Apr 14, 2008 04:27 PM Title: Chapter 3
Stop being so critical on her spelling. It's obvious this chapter she either checked it herself and added in all the vowels or ran it through spell check. Not all the words are the words they're supposed to be, but there's no spelling mistakes.
Of COURSE Od is Odd. Hey, she gets Xana right. She spells Ulrich in a way that name can be spelled and Aelita is just one complicated vowel seizure with an 'l' and 't' thrown in.
I could critique your comment on spelling: "person", "purpose", "explanation", "warriors". (A worrier is someone who worries.)
But, I'm getting all hyped up over Soul's 'review' which is even in the wrong chapter.
Aging the Lyoko warriors! I don't think I've heard of that before. I was wondering how you were going to have kids investigate something going on in Sin City. Interesting development. And maybe some foreshadowing? I can imagine Yumi and Ulrich sneaking off during some free time...
Short, but inspired as usual. : )
I'll give you a 10, because you basically spelled their names right (or were just lucky and didn't have to spell the harder ones).
Author's Response:
Yumi & Ulrick might not be gettng much free time...too bad...XANA just has to get in the way...
Date: Apr 13, 2008 02:22 PM Title: Chapter 3
Errrrr. First is Od a different peroson than Odd if not CHANGE IT! I even though I leave things out on perpouse what your doing is not giving any cryptic hints you just forgot to give any back story what so ever. You might want to give a bit of explination why there are 20 lyoko worriers.
Author's Response: I said they were 21 yers old, not that thre were more!
[Report This]Date: Apr 09, 2008 06:39 PM Title: Chapter 2
Chapter 2!
I wouldn't call this filler; this is setting up the plot! So, Xana likes diamonds? Hmm... well, regardless, they're going to Vegas!
Hmm... it's far in the US, but they're crossing international borders...
I hope our boarding school students and their new friend are safe.
I want to know what happens next, please continue. And could I make a suggestion? Try and get the character names down next chapter. (Aelita, Odd, Ulrich) If you do, I'll give you another 5 stars. ; )
Author's Response: If you want what's next, it's a good thing I just loggd on to post the next chaptr!
[Report This]Date: Mar 30, 2008 06:09 PM Title: Chapter 1
Well, if you want to be real picky, 'soul of legonds', Ulrick is spelled Ulrich, Ailta is spelled Aelita. Then there was mixing up 'fond' and 'found' and 'cold' and 'could'. However! I don't think someone should review solely on spelling... (And for the record, the spelling in your stories is improving.)
So far it's not bad. Your writing really has a nice flare or taste or something. It's 'fun' to read and not just some pointless self-insertion that only the author finds interesting. It's a little short for my taste, but what's there deserves 5/5 stars.
Author's Response: As some body who can't spell to save her own life, I complty agree with you! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! Do you mind e-malng my techers & tellng them what you said abot spellng...
[Report This]Date: Mar 30, 2008 02:22 AM Title: Chapter 1
yay, a sequel, love it
hahaha, leather, i didnt know that the skid has laether!? cool,
Author's Response: I didn't know ether, I just wantd to try & make a joke... It wold be relly nice if it did thogh...
Date: Mar 29, 2008 02:32 PM Title: Chapter 1
OOOOOKKKAY? Odd is spelled Odd not Od, but not to bad
Author's Response: Thanks! The next chaptrs actlly have to do with the plot, so stay tund!