In a Lonely Place

Chapter 3: Everything Zen

The dorm room was more silent than it had been the entire evening. Odd kept looking over at Jeremie, who was doing the same thing, but looked away if caught doing so. Kiwi had re-emerged, feeling perhaps Jeremie needed him now. He nudged his head against Jeremie’s leg. He looked down, picked up the lovable mutt, and plopped him down. He inhabited the newly-formed space between the two students.

Two hands reached simultaneously for Kiwi’s back and met in the middle. Both finally looked at each other again, speaking volumes with nonverbal communication. Jeremie’s hand reached down, but Odd dragged it up, entwining their fingers together. A faint blush stained his cheeks, hardly noticeable after the crying. Jeremie, on the other hand, resembled a ripe tomato. His fingers slackened in Odd’s grip.

“You comfortable with this?” Odd broached the silence.

“Define comfortable,” was Jeremie’s reply, causing titters among the teens.

“I mean, are you OK with this…part of me?”

“You’re my friend. I will always hold tightly to our friendship.” Jeremie paused, gathering self-resolve. “In you, I see the person I cannot be.”

“Cannot be?” Odd whispered. “Why not?”

“You’re the opposite of me. I’m serious; you’re happy-go-lucky. You’re caring; I’m calloused. I value…” Jeremie stopped himself abruptly, but Odd knew what he was going to say. He dropped Jeremie’s hand and sent him a withering look.

“OK, that was unfair of me. But in you, I see what I can only hope for.”

“You hope for grades so bad they don’t want you here?” Odd’s momentary smile vanished. “You hope to be attracted to one of your best friends?”

Jeremie had never looked more embarrassed, even after the time Aelita kissed him. “If I had the guts to do it, then yes. But I push that aside.”

“I don’t mean Aelita.” Odd found he could laugh again. “We all know about that.”

“I don’t mean Aelita, either. At least not entirely.”

Odd was gob-smacked. Jeremie didn’t just say that, did he?

“I think scientifically,” Jeremie said. “I have no time in my life for love, for desires outside of defeating XANA. I truly don’t know where my future in these matters lies.” He paused for a very pregnant breath. “Aelita’s kiss, it was good…but yours was, too.”

“Of course it was.” Odd tried to sound confident to mask his surprise, but it showed through. Jeremie felt the same? No – he only knew that he, too, was conflicted. His internal monologue was halted by Jeremie’s next question.

“What do we do now?”

“I asked myself the same thing when I got that letter,” Odd admitted. “And, after tonight, I think I know.” Jeremie unconsciously shifted closer to Odd. “We live. Live for now. No regrets, none of that. I won’t let adversity stop me from being who I am.”

Jeremie’s unshed tears had begun leaking out during Odd’s mini-speech, and Odd reached up to wipe them away with his thumb.

“Aren’t you going to use my turtleneck for that?”

A wall broke down inside both of them then. They collapsed onto the bed, seized with fits of laughter. Jeremie clutched his stomach and Odd pounded a fist into his pillow. Emotions pent up and let out hesitantly found spontaneous outlet at last.

Both finally caught their breath and rolled over to look at each other, mirthful tears and watery smiles on their faces. Kiwi gracefully jumped out of the way and toward the door and the boys leaned in again.

“I’ve found success in failure,” Odd said aloud to himself dreamily as Jeremie kissed him.

“Hey, Odd…wha?”

The pair on the bed parted faster than opposite poles of a magnet. Ulrich stood dumbfounded in the entry. Slowly, a smile crept up on his face.

“This is amusing to you?” Odd scoffed.

“No, not really,” Ulrich didn’t look disapproving, just…spaced out a bit. “Yumi owes me twenty bucks now, though.”

Laughter filled the room again as Ulrich closed the door. “Now, I think we need to have a talk about this…” Ulrich said. Odd and Jeremie looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and started living anew.