i....hate...my...life

[Odd-Like-Me offline]

ok..prepare for alot of ranting.

this year i just finished my first year in secondary school (thats irish for high school, or jr.high, but its one whole thing, from 13-18 )
anyway.....

im a very odd individual person, and i can act very feminine sometimes, and i knew people wouldent like me for these things in a new school. but not only does my year make fun of me, all the other ones know my name and always make fun of me, infront of my friends and everyone, its very stressful and embarassing. i wish for once i could just be normal or left alone. none of them know how much pain they can put me trough. someone even wrote something really offensive on my locker, im not saying what it was but it was implying i was gay.

im way more self concious and paranoid now. and im also having problems at home.

well im done ranting. if anyone has any ideas that might help me feel better please comment back.

[Mewberries151]

*hugs* Aww, I'm sorry to hear you're being bullied. It makes me sad to see that alot of the wonderful people here at LF are picked on at school, especially since all of you are such cool and unique individuals.

Anyway, it sounds to me like it's time to seek adult help. Writing on your locker (especially something offensive), is not only harassment, but defacing of school property and the supervisors there I'm sure would want to know about that. I'm not sure precisely what "trouble at home" means, but depending on that, you should probably tell you parents about this too, as they'd want to know too if you were being bullied. At least that's what I'd advise...

If you're hesitant about involving adults, perhaps just try your best to ignore them as most bullies just bother you to feel important and get attention. You said that they tease you in front of your friends...perhaps ask them to stick up for you, if they haven't already. They're your friends after all.

Either way though, I hope everything works out alright.

[Tekirai offline]

First of all, YAYY! More Irish people! Now that's me, Desound and you!

Second, welcome to On-The-Verge-Of-Feminist Club! My year is a huuuge pain in the guts. I'm one of those students that are almost like child prodegies and all the boys always annoy me because of it. And sometimes girls say I'm a lesbian.

'Course, what I do is laugh like a maniac, run away and continue my life. Eventually you DO grow to ignore it, but that locker message is a little over the harsh mark. I'd go with Mew and tell someone who works at your school about it. Just be happy for who you are, learn or make up some emergency comebacks (if they laugh at them, it's even better. That shows you have a sense of humour somewhat. Works for me.) and show that this teasing isn't affecting you at all.

Home trouble I can't help with, sorry.

[Odd-Like-Me offline]

my parents are splitting, by home trouble i mean that

and yay, two other irish pepl

[Rail Runner offline]

well odd like me...I can tell you that you need to at least tell the principal about the whole message thing, and maybe they will take care of that situation..

As far as for your parents..I am very sorry to hear that your parents are splitting..Sometimes these things cant be helped..the best thing I can tell you to do is just to deal with it the best you can..but you dont have to be alone, we are totally here for you and are here to support you through it all...feel free to pm me if you would like to chat more about it...we are here as friends, and we care about you.

[Odd-Like-Me offline]

i got rid of the writing myself, i did tell my teacher about one person buling me and he got into trouble, but then people shouted at me and i felt bad for telling....

[The BB of C offline]

No, don't be telling adults about your bully problems. Though they think they can and they tell you that they can, they can't. The power to stop a bully lies within the victim himself.

[Cecilia offline]

-sigh- It's the sad fact of life that there will be people that feel the need to prey on people to fill some gap in their hearts...a gap that grows wider with every injustice they create in a futile attempt to fill the hole.

x.x; In other words...enjoy being who you are. If other people can't accept you for who you are, they're not worthy of your attention and energy.

As for your parents splitting...I've never had to experience that, so I can't give any advice to that...except...just remember that they're not splitting because of you. They'll still love you as much as they always have, perhaps even more. *le sigh* I'm not good at giving advice.

[Odd-Like-Me offline]

yes you are cecilia, thanks everybody. you give great advice.

[Tom Bone offline]

Yeah, bullying sucks. Take it from me. "Oh, look, there goes Nightmare Before Christmas kid". It's like you wanna rip there necks off and...whoops, gettin' ahead of myself. Well, my advice is just ignore them 'till whenever...and they stop bothering you. Hopefully. That'll work.

[Odd-Like-Me offline]

the nightmare before xmas kid would be liked in my school...im the f*g of the year....plus i hate when people youse gay as an insult, its mean to me and them.

[Mewberries151]

No, don't be telling adults about your bully problems. Though they think they can and they tell you that they can, they can't. The power to stop a bully lies within the victim himself.

Actually, they can. Honestly, I've seen it work.

But I will agree that there are ways of stopping a bully yourself, and without violence. The best way is, as Tom Bone advised, to ignore them. Bullies crave attention, and letting them get to you, is giving them just that. If you can, ignore them. Don't let what they think, bother you, because they shouldn't matter to you in the first place.

Also, again, if you're hesitant about involving adults, then at least ask your friends for help and support. If you have friends who love and care about you, they should stick up for you in whatever way they can.

[The BB of C offline]

I guess ignoring them might work as an alternative. It really depends on the person. I've never seen it work but go ahead and try it if you don't want to fight.

[Mewberries151]

I guess ignoring them might work as an alternative. It really depends on the person. I've never seen it work but go ahead and try it if you don't want to fight.

It can work provided the bullying is merely of the "teasing/hurtful words" variety. For bullying that is physical, as in punching, kicking, or shoving, then an adult needs to be involved as that's serious and quickly becoming a case for juvenile court (depending on the severity). Nobody is allowed to hurt you (just as one shouldn't hurt anyone else)...once somebody is physically hurting you then it's serious and some sort of authority figure needs to be involved whether it be the principal or the police even.

[oddson offline]

I guess ignoring them might work as an alternative. It really depends on the person. I've never seen it work but go ahead and try it if you don't want to fight.

good point that what i did in primary

[YDV offline]

Aww, omg! *hugs* Jeez that sucks. I hate people like that. I agree with a lot of the things Mewberries is saying.... and they did WHAT?! D< God, now I'm angry. I swear society today pisses me off so much. And I mean especially when they do things like that to people at LF, cuz I know most of you guys are really awesome. Not entirely sure I can offer a lot of advice, but I can say that we're here for you and you can always talk about it if you want.

[Beowulf681 offline]

I know exactly what your going through, I,ve gone through that mess at ever school I've been to. Its rough, but keep your head up and don't lose hope! If you want to talk just pm me.

[Jeremified offline]

ok..prepare for alot of ranting.

this year i just finished my first year in secondary school (thats irish for high school, or jr.high, but its one whole thing, from 13-18 )
anyway.....

im a very odd individual person, and i can act very feminine sometimes, and i knew people wouldent like me for these things in a new school. but not only does my year make fun of me, all the other ones know my name and always make fun of me, infront of my friends and everyone, its very stressful and embarassing. i wish for once i could just be normal or left alone. none of them know how much pain they can put me trough. someone even wrote something really offensive on my locker, im not saying what it was but it was implying i was gay.

im way more self concious and paranoid now. and im also having problems at home.

well im done ranting. if anyone has any ideas that might help me feel better please comment back.

Jeez, your life sounds like triple my life. Just don't worry, here at LF we're all kind.

[. offline]

see now thier are to way to ahndle things. BBC brought up one of my favorite points, and I quote I like to live by

"You know what you do to bullies? You punk 'em out, then you beat 'em up."

of course not everyone can do that. See now I took a different route and at a young age I got myself a reputation as a tough guy by having "Haxcore Xtremez!!!111!!!1!1" wrestling matches in the school hall ways.

So either find the power to beat them up, or just gets yourself a reputation that no one will want to mess with.

I don't reccomend you going to the principal or any adult really. Yeah it is the right thing to do, but you'll get alot of heat for it and though no one wants to admit life is a political game. Even if the bullying stops they still won't like you.

[Ghost Guest offline]

I was bullied during most of my high school years and I did absolutely nothing about it. People eventually stopped bullying me (I think it may have had something to do with the fact that they got girlfriends and were just too busy *sarcasm*). So ignoring your bullies might work, but I believe your best option is to tell an adult that can help you.

My advice is do not worry or care at all if they like you or not. Eventually you find people who like you just the way you are. Just be patient. Besides there's this misconception that people who seek help in teachers and the principal are cowards. But that's a lie, it actually takes balls to do it. Most people are afraid they will be even more bullied, which won't actually happen if the adults act quickly.

[Sithking Zero offline]

Here's my advice:

People are stupid b*stards. Even me. Just remember, who cares what other people say about you? You are your own person, and screw anyone who tells you differently.

[Mewberries151]

I don't reccomend you going to the principal or any adult really. Yeah it is the right thing to do, but you'll get alot of heat for it and though no one wants to admit life is a political game. Even if the bullying stops they still won't like you.

But does it matter if they don't like him? So long as they leave him alone, who cares what they think of him. People like that almost never change their opinions of you anyway, regardless of what you do. Chances are, if you fight back (physically) instead of going to an adult or authority figure, you'll wind up in trouble yourself (because now the kid you beat up has an excuse to tattle on you), or you'll start a new slew of bullying, because now that person you hurt is going to want to gain back their own "honor".

Fighting is just not the answer, at least not physical fighting (mental fighting, like ignoring the person is perfectly fine, and highly recommended). The amount of school violence that happens today is just too ridiculous for "fighting" to be the solution, and sometimes innocent people get hurt too when these fights happen, which is definitely not right. Just get help. As BJB said, it is actually the braver thing to do, and I fully agree with that.

[The BB of C offline]

I wonder where you live where everything is solved so peacefully...
If nobody likes him, that doesn't help anything. He still has few friends friends which won't help anything and those few that he has might ditch him for being a whimp.

[Mewberries151]

I wonder where you live where everything is solved so peacefully...

*shakes head* Where I live, violence often is the road students take, and I'm sick of it. That's why I ask for a peaceful resolution, because it can work. I went through it.

If nobody likes him, that doesn't help anything. He still has few friends friends which won't help anything and those few that he has might ditch him for being a whimp.

Then, pardon my French, but those are horrible friends. People who ditch you just because you're not aggressive or something like that are not true friends nor should one have them as friends. True friends should like you for who you are and they should care about you and worry for your safety. A friend who dumps you because you didn't beat someone up was not your friend, but simply someone who was looking for a bodyguard, at least in my view.

Also, it is my understanding that this person has friends who like him for who he is, so obviously it's not that nobody likes him. What he needs to do is stick with the people who care about him and who like him for who he is and ignore the peanut gallery that's insecure with themselves enough to bully him. That is my opinion at least.

[Ghost Guest offline]

If you have "friends" that don't like and accept you for who you are, then get rid of them! They're not real friends! There's always someone who'll like you the way you are. People who try to change their personality just to fit in, constantly get manipulated.