loss

[LadyLucy offline]

A friend just betrayed me, one that was like a litter sister to me. She doesn't want to associate with some one with bipolar disorder.
And Nathan, my Neo, the one that you've all heard me talk about so much, the very auther that inspiered me to start writing on ff.net, is no longer mine. I still love him. I don't know what he thinks of me. He hasn't responded in weeks to my letters. I can't do this anymore. I sent him a last letter. I love him, but if he doesn't love me, never answer back. If he does love me, send one back.
Needless to say, I don't expect one back.
And to think it was a year this June 15th....and that he was gonna come up and see me...I am a fool.
I know I shouldn't be complaining, but I need a hug...or something...

[Rail Runner offline]

*huggleglomps* I am so sorry Lucy...I know how it feels to lose people this way...I just recently got out of a bad relationship, you will be ok...we are here to help you through it.

As far as for the friend, they arent worth your time if they feel that way about you, and they werent really your friend in the first place...you will find true friends who care about you as you are, and not for the problems you have...you have us as well.

[The BB of C offline]

That really sucks. What's Bipolar disorder, if you don't mind my asking?

[Rail Runner offline]

Bipolar Disorder is a disorder where your moods can change from one minute to the next and you can become aggressive*even violent* at times...with medication and counseling and stuff, it can be controlled..but never fully cured. My brother brandon is bi polar...and I have seen all of his changes...its weird and scary at the same time..

[LadyLucy offline]

*smiles* You're well informed. I'm sorry about your bro...I think it'd be harder living with someone with bp...*smiles wrlyly* Maybe that's the answer to my question....
Thanks, by the way. It's funny the way life works...

[Rail Runner offline]

actually...the funny thing about my brother brandon is that he is one of my biological brothers...so we have only known each other for about 2 years now..but anyway..he lives in Puerto Rico, so I am not dealing with him that much...but I really do feel sorry for you..bipolar is scary...especially if you dont understand whats happening within you.

I have done lots of research on lots of things...I keep myself up to date on alot of medical things, that way if anyone needs advice, or info on something, I can give it to them to help them out...bipolar research is ever changing, and it can be difficult keeping up sometimes, but I try. If there is anything you want to know about it in particular, or have questions..pm me..they are always welcome.

[Tom Bone offline]

Bipolar Disorder is a disorder where your moods can change from one minute to the next and you can become aggressive*even violent* at times...with medication and counseling and stuff, it can be controlled..but never fully cured. My brother brandon is bi polar...and I have seen all of his changes...its weird and scary at the same time..

Oh, so that's what it is? I have that. Anyway, *hugs* I hope you feel better.

[The BB of C offline]

Bipolar Disorder is a disorder where your moods can change from one minute to the next and you can become aggressive*even violent* at times...with medication and counseling and stuff, it can be controlled..but never fully cured. My brother brandon is bi polar...and I have seen all of his changes...its weird and scary at the same time..

That sucks and sounds serious to a larger degree. But this also falls in the category of things that happen in your brain that you can help if you try hard enough. Though that may be an understatement. My point is that I believe if you super want to help yourself beat this thing and try ultra hard, you can kick it.
I like the councelling idea, LucyMcGonagle. I don't like the idea of medication. When you're not at councelling, try to keep the following frame of mind. If you notice you're having a mood swing, try to remember that it is just because of this retarded Bipolar thing and that it is probably unprovoked. That might help you keep a level head and help you weaken it within yourself.

How does that sound to you? Of course it's much easier said than done but I think you can do it if you truely want to.

[Rail Runner offline]

that could work B..but only to a certain extent...you may not like the idea of medication, but for some problems its needed..not everything can be overcome with thought...people with bipolar disorder have trouble keeping their thoughts straight, when brandon was here visiting me, he would be jumping from subject to subject..happy, then angry, then sad, then back to angry, then happy again...once he got the meds and counseling, things have been a bit better..he is alot like you in the way that he thinks...but even he couldnt overcome it with thought, and brandon is strong mentally....now when I talk to him on the phone, things are more even, and its dealable now...but I do sorta agree...use your thought to try and keep your mood level..and see how well it works..along with everything else.

[The BB of C offline]

You're right, I should lighten up on medication esepcially with something as serious sounding as this. I appologise, I'm used to people with those BS excuses for disorders like ADHD and Aspergers taking medications that don't succeed at anything accept messing up their minds in the long-term side effects.

[Rail Runner offline]

yeah...bipolar is definitely a problem, the meds sorta do your method, except chemically...haha..it balances out the chemicals that are overbalanced...and it stablizes the dramatical limits of the mood swings...the counseling is to help the individual understand and cope with the issues at hand and also to lend emotional support because this disorder is wrecking emotionally, not only for the person suffering from it, but for the family and friends that deal with the person as well...they will have a whole team of people looking after them...not just one or two people..a whole team...so dont be afraid to tell them how you feel..they are there to help you, not to hurt you in any way...

[Sithking Zero offline]

(Somehow gives hug over internet.)

[Chosen_one offline]

Oh my...

I can't believe that people would do this; not give their best friends the right to be what they can only be. (That was kind of confusing.)

It's not your fault you have bipolar disorder, am I correct? Isn't it something you're born with, like diabetes?

I know how it feels to be disliked for being different. There are these kids in my school (surprisingly enough, one of them is named Brandon) who always interrupt my conversations to say something stupid about my internet/software-related hobbies. They look something like this:

What do you do on Friday nights, update Purplehill?! lol... What a loser...

and also something like this:

I went on your website; it sucks.

Also, a lot of people make fun of me because a while ago, I didn't know what "Velcro" meant. English is my third language and I can't expect to have a full vocabulary in it.

Anyway, people in a free-speech country such as this will make you feel bad for things you don't control. You're better than every one of them.
*hugs*

[Rail Runner offline]

yes chosen one...bipolar disorder is something you are born with, its also a genetic disease...not every generation will have it..but the chance for it being there is very high.

[LadyLucy offline]

Oh...thank you every one *runs around and hugs*.
Now I feel like I"m back in physic class now...we discused the bipolar-ness...I did a report on it, got a 100. Ironic...but my teacher never realized that I have it...heh...
I've had concillying(not like I can spell it)...I don't trust medications. I already take Stratera for my ADD, and I'm afraid to take more than one thing...

[Rail Runner offline]

too many meds at once can really mess things up...be careful..

[The BB of C offline]

No! Drop that Stratera now! ADD doesn't even exist so you certainly don't need to be taking medications for it. I've heard that taking things like Ridlin and things along the lines of that for about three years can actually wear holes in your brain in your middle ages.

[Lola offline]

He's right. My friend used to take that stuff and it only made her worse.

[demon2010 offline]

I am so very sorry! *Hugs Lucy* I wish I could really give you a hug because I know what it's like to have a friend betray you and to lose a Boy-Friend........ The most you can do is keep your head high, and look forward. I'll keep you in my wishes.

[Jeremified offline]

I know I shouldn't be complaining, but I need a hug...or something...

Of course you should complain! That's what this forum's all about! *hug* This is another form of racism- not about the race of a person, but the personality. No matter what sort of disorder or whatever a person has, they shouldn't be thought of as less just because they're different! Don't worry, I will never think of you as someone lower than the rest. Everybody here is equal.

[LadyLucy offline]

No! Drop that Stratera now! ADD doesn't even exist so you certainly don't need to be taking medications for it. I've heard that taking things like Ridlin and things along the lines of that for about three years can actually wear holes in your brain in your middle ages.

I"m sorry, but yes it does excest. I have it. Ridlin is a drug that might to that sh** to your brain. It's adictive. DOn't worry about that. But ADD does exist. I don't know who told you it didn't, but that's not true.

[The BB of C offline]

Think about it for a little while longer. ADD, ADHD, and Aspergers don't exist. Bipolar is something different, that is real. But here's most likely what happened with you. Your Bipolar disorder also caused the people who diagnosed it to see symptoms of what they call ADD. People who are said to have that experience mood swings and have problems concentrating. Sounds a lot like Bipolar on a smaller scale to me. So the doctors probably diagnosed you with that as well. The reason why ADD and everything else I listed there is because it can completely be overcome with self dicipline. ADD is nothing but an insulting scientific name for a kid who's parents never bothered to teach him how to control himself. Then they're told that the reason they act up all the time is because of a disease they have which causes a subconsious ripple effect. This already goofy kid from lack of dicipline either from himself or from his parents (normally from the parents) now believes he has a disorder and now has an excuse to continue his behavior. Though he doesn't consiously think that. That way of thinking happens in the subconsious.
Nobody told me this information. I figured it out myself and offline, I've proven it on more than one occasion, including in myself. As far as ADD goes, you shouldn't trust any medication because the disease itself isn't real and no medication can treat what isn't necissarily there.

[Tom Bone offline]

And remember, you'll always have real friends here. We'll be here whenever you need us!

[The BB of C offline]

That's another thing. You can't rely on 'friends' here too heavily because anything can happen. People here can be someone that they don't appear to be. Someone you're friends with could leave and you'd have no way of contacting them. Don't ever count on online people. It never works out.

[LadyLucy offline]

I know. But's nice, cause I"m more "popular" on here than I was anywhere else... maybe because no one knows what I look like...I dunno...