I don't know what to do.

[. offline]

There is a girl I am good friends with, we will call her "Jen". I last year I got into a fight with her, got mad blah blah blah. I was tupid. I apologize in september and all was forgiven.

Moving on. After I apologized to her I did so for not any reason aside from me not wanting to hold the anger towards her anymore. So that was it. We were not friends but we were cool. Now. She had a boyfriend. We'll call him "Bob"

Bob and her started going out around that same time period last year. Now that time period (september) I didn't like Bob. Not for more reason then he rubbed me the wrong way. He always came across to me as a jerk.

But anyway, what did I care right? Well I find out from my friend one day, BJ (thats his actual name) that Bob was gonna break up with Jen. Why? Apparently reasons, but my fight with her was one of them.

My reaction was "Ahhhh son of a-" because, now I felt morally I had to warn her about the impending doom before her not only because hello! Her BF of 6 months was going to break up with her, but because I felt responsible for being a reason. BJ freaks out. Bob ends up talking to me on Instant Messenger saying he's not going to break up with her. Against my better judge ment I believe him.

2 days later: Jen and Bob are broken up. The "reason" he gives is that he wants time to see if their the one.

My reaction: O' for the love of of-

I tursted a snake and I got bit. So then that night I tell Jen what I know, right? For no reason other then I felt it was the right thing to do and my conscience was getting to me.

She is pleased I tell her. Says she loves me like a brother now.

And like that we become friends again. I am pleased because for the first time in my young life I had someone say the L word to me that I felt actually ment it. The fact she called me a brother shwos a significant trust in me. I mean you don't say you love someone like a BROTHER if don't mean it.

Regardless. From that point on I considered her one of my closest friends.

Okay fun part now.

Next day Bob is dating a girl name Michele, who at the time didn't even know her full name. Everything cool. 3 days later Jen wants to date a chap named Steve. Everythigns not cool. Bob goes billistic and calls here names such as whore.

I go WTF? but about half myfriends side with Bob which confuses me.

Now during this one point, Bob punched Steve and called Jen a slut. Now I took offense to this and Punk'd Bob out for being a jerk and made him make a full out of himself.

weeks go by. Bob switches back and forth. some days he loves Jen some days he hates her. He's cutting up his arm and shit, started smoking.

Despite all this and the pain he's caused, Jen understandable still loves him (it was both their first MEANINGFUL relationship) they where going to get back together and Jen broke up with Steve.

but that fell threw. Jen went out with a guy named Joe then (as Steve had moved on to another girl). Joe was a jerk that was just trying to sleep with her. They broke up though, because she listened to me.

Now Bob wants once again to get back with Jen... but first wants to offer Michele a chance to be with him. Now here is MY problem.

I love this girl. Not as friend. And not a crush, and not a mis-guided puppy dog way either. I care about her and in the past month I've seen her entire life seemingly fall apart around her. And I have these feelings for her but I can't bring myself to say them and not because the response. No no. I don't fear the response, I fear making things just harder on her. And I'm trying to be their for her, and make no mistake. I hate Bob. I hate him with a passion you wouldn't believe but I'd give the world for her to be happy if only I knew Bob wasn't going to hurt her. But selfishly I want to be the one with her and protect her and save her. But I also think I'd probbly just make things worse.

So I don't know what to do. I really don't.

[Lola offline]

Have them seek counceling

[LadyLucy offline]

Have them seek counceling

Agreed. Or at least...have this Bob seek counceling. He has one screwed view on relationships.

And about the love thing...
Don't friends protect like loved ones sometimes? My idea is that you can protect her, care for her all of that...and let your actions show your feelings, instead of saying it out loud. It may help her see you in a different light.

[Lyoko SA80 offline]

Caught in the cross fire right .argh.As lucy and Lola said councling is the best shot .But if bob hurting himself it bad try to get them together and speak to them .Ask them the question if their is any feels with them .This is something bob and jen need to do themself all you can do is move out of the crossfrie and leave them to it .Help them if you want but I will warn you don't move onto jen or bob will loe it with you .

[mooshie offline]

I must agree, some counciling is in order, it would seem as if jen is sort of bob centered, so if it is not nipped in the bud then jen and bob may become one of those couples that keep on breaking up and getting back together again even if bob is not jen centered, because he will most likely break up with her repeatedly, not a healthy reationship, so if you consider this goodie, if you tell me to blow it ut my @$$ that's ok too

[Lyoko SA80 offline]

New in something like this is happening in class at the moment with is a bit bad plus I know both of them well .Thought I'll better say .