Slowly going insane...

[_stromboli__ offline]

Aarg. Just need to let off some steam here.

Ok, this school year has not been good to me so far.
I had really high hopes for this year. Wasn't gonna be a stupid freshie any more... by the spring musical I'd have enough points to become a thespian... I had a stable group of friends, I made it into chamber choir so I wouldn't have to keep learning theory and music written for sixth graders, I had good classes and good teachers to boot. It was supposed to be my best school year yet.

Then, on the second-to-last day of summer, I call my best friend and find out that he's been transferred to the school across town. And since then, life's taking a major downturn. School's not keeping me interested any more (and my grades are skimming by because of it), my friends are drifting apart... or rather I'm drifting away from them. They don't even seem to notice it, but I don't feel as close to any of them as I did before. Even just a week or two before school started when we got together a couple times.

I don't want to blame Justin, but I'm starting to think that it's because he's gone that I'm becoming anti-social again. Most of my friends I ended up meeting through him, and now that he's not around, I'm losing touch with them. And I'm going a little nuts. Kinda paranoid-like. I don't feel like I can trust anyone, or talk to anyone, except Justin. And it's driving me crazy because his phone's always busy, because everyone else from my school calls him all the time.

And I want to bug him to transfer back, but I can't. He's happier there, he's got new friends and a new girlfriend, and people aren't jerks to him every moment of every day like they were here. And still are. Part of the reason I'm not as close to some of my friends, is because they still talk trash about him. All day. Every day. One of these days, I'm just gonna smack one of 'em. I'm sick of them! And yet, I'm not. If I was, I'd have done something by now... Wouldn't I? I'm so confuzzled... My brain hurts.

Part of this also might be because the fall show just ended... I always get post-show depression. Suddenly I don't see any of my drama buddies, and they go back to their own groups of friends... And this year I don't have my group to go back to.

[Lola offline]

Oh no no no no no no no don't do that! Your friends are the best thing you can have in school. Just try your best to stay close to them and they'll return the favor. If your friends haven't noticed you drifting than they probably still love you. don't give up

[Ulrich's lil bro offline]

Wow dude, I can sorta feel you on that one. I have almost a similar situation. When i went to 6th grade, I moved to a different school, and only a couple of people did too, but most of my friends had stayed in that school, and I never saw them again. Most of them had been friends with me since like 3rd grade, and now, I have no contacty whatsoever....

But, although you feel like your social life is coming down, you can't give up. I made a lot of new friends, and you could too, plus try to keep the ones you still have. Do you have any other way to contact Justin, like by IM or something? Try to contact him and just talk... like 2 friends would talk. Just don't give up hope and turn your back on society, because sooner or later, you're gonna regret it. Lighten up and accept new things.

Hope it helps. Remember, you can always talk about your problems here.

[_stromboli__ offline]

I try to talk to him... But he's never on AOL, and when he is I don't know it because he has a family account, so I never know who's on. And when I call him, his phone's either busy, or he can only talk for a few minuets... It stinks.

And I'm trying to keep my friends close... but it's not working too well. I don't know why, but the more time I spend around them, the more I want to get away from them. I don't know if they're just more obnoxious this year, or if I never noticed it or if it's all in my head. Plus another one of my friends who is a year below me brings all her younger friends with her and they drive me INSANE. I like her, but I can't stand her band of twenty coffee-hyper freshies that she always has in tow.

Grr... I miss Justin... 'Cause when we were younger and I'd get like this he'd actually notice, and talk to me... I'm not real good with the telling people that stuff bugs me.