I don't know how to feel from this point.

[Writing_Addict offline]

Warning: very long rant







Well to top it off, My Aunt married a soldier at 18, had twins 4 years later then two more children. (They divorced mind you) Now those kids are all living on their own and one is going to graduate and one isn't to far from it. So My Aunt (whom is 40 something) is paying for two of those children's college funds and whatnot. But apparently my Aunt couldn't afford much with college sucking up her money.

Now Two and a half years ago my Aunt couldn't afford her house anymore so she lived with us. She said it would only take two months to build up enough money for an apartement. However, those two months took more than a half a year.

I really don't like my Aunt one bit. She's arrogant and rude. Also immature. Whenever my mom yells at me or I get in trouble ect. she laughs. So I really hated having to share living space with her. My Aunt never picked up after herself, barely bathed so you could smell her everywhere she went. She clogged up drains and toilets not bothering to un-clog them.

She annoyed me so much I hated her facial expressions and the sound of her chewing when she ate! If that's not annoyance I don't know what is.

She spent most of her time sitting, eating(and/or watching TV) and sleeping. She went to work then came home and did nothing but complain about what happened and just sat her big behind. It took her 4 months for her actually to feel like looking for an aparment.

Then she finally did and it took her lazy behind a month to move in. She had NOTHING to move in! Maybe a few shoes and clothes but little stuff.


But then during the next 5 months she went for a check-up at the doctor and it turns out she had a brain tumor. Thank the heavens it was benign. This was about in September or October maybe on a Thursday. (I remember precisly huh?)

After all that she found her own space somewhere a good 6 hours away from us.

Now today at a check-up the tumor decides not to be benign and she might die. One of her daughters are selfish like her in someways. My Aunt's Daughter called and said all this junk about where she was and why didn't she pick up yada yada yada. So my Aunt explains about her situation and then her daughter says (in exact words) "Why don't you stop caring about yourself and start caring about me!" Uh HELLO! If it wasn't for my Aunt you would be living on the streets and eating dirt.


So now I feel really horrible not liking her (and I had every right too, there are somes thing I really could not and would not share about what she did).

So I was wondering if someone could help me deal with my feelings about this. I feel like a rotten person. Maybe my Aunt isn't a bad person...I don't know what to think.

[Gauntlet offline]

Hmm... this is from a third-party view, and going off what you tell me, I'm going to answer to the best of my ability.

I think you're aunt has some problems. Her kids feel this sense of entitlement is in order all of the time, she used to laugh at you, didn't keep up to her promise of moving out, and created nonsensical problems. I want to say she has her heart in the right place, but after hearing what her daughter said to her over the phone, not so much.

This kind of relates to Cinderella. The step-mother was nice to her kids, and treated Cinderella like crud, but who turned out to be human? It's a little bit like "twisted nice".

I recommend you don't suppress your feelings towards her; you're supposed to acknowledge the fact that she was hurtful. Don't minimize or deny the fact that she did, you know what she was like. You should be kind to her though, as I see you want to; that's an beautiful trait to have, as you're also treating yourself right by not suppressing your thoughts and feelings about her.

I'm not trying to call out your aunt as a bad person, just one who made the wrong decisions and took the wrong routes in life. You can be nice and respectful towards her, even though it feels like she doesn't deserve it, but you'll be helping yourself in the end.

Don't repress, but instead accept your feelings towards her. Be respectful towards her, but don't be too nice to the point where she can trample over you and hurt you again. That is what I feel is the best way to approach this situation.

[Writing_Addict offline]

My Aunt had been the way she is since she was born so she can't really change all that much...

But thanksfro the suggestion and it is a bit like Cinderella.

[Bootch offline]

Ok, so I can vaguely relate with you ... to an extent... I have an aunt who while she hasnt direcly affected my life as she has with you, she has caused some major pains for my whole family as she seems to harbor some resentment towards us... but thats not a great problem and I dont much care about what she says anymore so ... nevermind...

I can see that you aunt is a self-centered woman, and this trait has passed down to her daughter... ( the same happens with my aunt ) and this creates friction with you, your personalities clash and this crates a problem...

When she said she was hoping to move out quickly I think maybe she did at first think this, but once she moved in she found it comfortable at your house and stalled her own progress... you will agree the term "mooching" comes to mind? I wouldnt know though... I'm just putting it out there.


Now, as for her health reasons... its wrong that my first, increadibly cynical thought was, "karma" ... I'm not sure how to offer help here... I've found that if people are self-absorbed then the help you'd give them may on occasion fall on deaf ears, either that, or its quickly forgotten.
One route you can take is to quietly distance yourself from these problems, taking a backseat position... or take the high road and offer all the support you can to your aunt. Your cousin is right on one account, your aunt does need to thank your mother for the help she has provided, but now would be a time to look beyond and look to help your aunt, just for a little longer.

Hope any of this helps... if not, I'm sorry you had to read this rabble for nothing.

[Odd-Like-Me offline]

i can understand how you feel, but you have every right to be upset about the way she acted back then. i wouldent give her a hard time about it now, but you cant feel guilty she should have been nicer to you....

xoddlikeme

[Rail Runner offline]

In all honesty, the best thing you can do is just to forgive her and give her the support that she needs right now. Life is too short to hold grudges.

Sure, we have had family members do these sorts of things, but forgiveness and support can carry you and them much farther than hate and unwillingness to forgive.

[DeadViolet offline]

Don't be ashamed, friend.
Yer Aunt seems like a B****.

[ji45ojperjfenfpen offline]

Well, I guess you should try to forgive her. But, if she is that bad, maybe you should be happy she has a brain tumor.

[DeadViolet offline]

My friend's Aunt is like like that.