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My friend and I

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My friend and I

Postby nap* » Mon May 14, 2007 5:15 pm

Yesterday before I went to bed my friend told me that he loved me and has always for years, I though that I would be ok with it but today I felt really uncomfortable around him, I'm not homophobic, but this was totally unexpected, he's one of my closes friends, but I felt like I was a horrible person, I tried to talk to him but I couldn't muster up the courage to have a conversation about this issue.

I have always felt my friend to be the brother I never had, but now it is like he's a different person. Normally I would talk to a family member about my issues but I don't think they would understand...

Does anyone have any suggestions about what I should do?
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Postby Rail Runner » Mon May 14, 2007 6:55 pm

Wow, thats pretty difficult. The best thing to do is just let it be and see where it goes. Just make sure that you draw your line...and if he advances, just be firm, and let him know that you are a friend, and that is all.
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Postby . » Mon May 14, 2007 8:57 pm

Interesting.

Just tell him just that. Your not gay, Your his brother from another mother. just be up front about it. In theory, he should be respectful to that.
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Postby Rail Runner » Mon May 14, 2007 9:02 pm

If he is your friend, he will respect where you stand and wont push the issue...but let him know that you will still be there as a friend.
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Postby nap* » Tue May 15, 2007 2:14 am

Thanks, I have to talk to him today, if I respect him, but it won't br easy.
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Postby Carth » Tue May 15, 2007 6:36 am

Good on ya. Just remember- this is probably as hard for him as it is for you. Harder, maybe. Its not easy to confess homosexual feelings, especially if the person confessed to is, well, straight. Go easy on 'im, and tell him that you're just not interested in him like that.
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Postby nap* » Tue May 15, 2007 2:36 pm

We talked while we walking home together, he asked if I was alright about him confessing to me, and I responded yeah, but it took me quite by surprised. He told me if it has come between us in any he's sorry, but I told him not to be, as I've always told him always say what's on his mind.

It's going to be a rough couple of days.
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Postby Lyoko SA80 » Tue May 15, 2007 2:41 pm

Well I quess this toipc is sorted .Wewll I wonder say want the rest said. As love is not a easy topic and personally I'm happy for you. You saw got a true friend .
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Postby Odd-Like-Me » Tue May 15, 2007 3:08 pm

woa, that must be hard, but my view is the same as others, just tell him that your fine with him and all, but if he gets flirty or something tell him no....but u must know that its difficult for him because turning gay isnt the easyest thing ever, but dont let him use that to guilt-trip you.
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Postby Rail Runner » Tue May 15, 2007 3:09 pm

Why do you keep saying that dude....haha.

It may be a rough couple of days, but you can definitely get through it.
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Postby Odd-Like-Me » Tue May 15, 2007 3:11 pm

what do i keep saying???
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Postby Rail Runner » Tue May 15, 2007 3:45 pm

I was referring to Lyoko Soldier..he keeps saying..well this topic is sorted..its not sorted until the creator says, ok..everything is better now.
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Postby Lyoko SA80 » Wed May 16, 2007 3:50 am

Well sorry I thought it was .It's start to sound like it was .so what the next mark to sort out.
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Postby Rail Runner » Wed May 16, 2007 8:59 am

Well...we would like to know how things have gone since you had this convo with him yesterday or tuesday..., and how have things changed or not changed. What has his reaction been, and what are you feeling or thinking..and maybe we can give more insight as to how to help you.

Ahh..Im starting to sound like Dr. Phil...Im not that nuts I tell ya.
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Postby nap* » Wed May 16, 2007 12:51 pm

Oh today (Wednesday) is our day off from college we've got 4 assignments due on friday, so I haven't seen him today, and he hasn't been on MSN either. And tomorrow is one those every other days where the lecturer decides to make the following week a double lesson, due to my class only having one that week, so I won't see him tomorrow either probably.

I talked to my sister today after, and she thought he was joking about it, but after she had her giggle fit, she told me that I should have a proper conversation with him.

I was up until about 2am think about how he's feeling. I felt like I hurt him, I always unintentially hurt people. If I don't see him tomorrow I'm going to write him an email.
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Postby Rail Runner » Wed May 16, 2007 1:49 pm

You didnt hurt him...but a good proper conversation with him would be a good solution. It would be better if you talk to him face to face. Through an email, he might feel like you wouldnt want to talk to him face to face. Whenever you get the opportunity.
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Postby nap* » Wed May 16, 2007 4:20 pm

I couldn't write the email, I knew what I wanted to write, but, I thought that was the cheating way, I'll just have to wait until friday.
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Postby Rail Runner » Wed May 16, 2007 4:22 pm

Thats fine...its always better to talk to your friends about something face to face, that way they can hear emotion and know that you really care, instead of just cold hard words on a screen. A voice can make all the difference in how something is portrayed.
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Postby Lyokogirl_147 » Thu May 17, 2007 4:34 pm

Hey I read the whole thread and did you ever have feelings for him like before you thought of him of your brother? Or had you always? Keep us posted^^
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Postby nap* » Fri May 18, 2007 3:01 pm

^^ Not really, we first meet in secondary school (Year 7/ 7th Grade) as we were in the same tutor group, but we didn't really hang out much, then we start hanging more a year later. He was like the friend that you just say hi too but start having more conversations, eventually he became one of my closest friends.

But today it was an average college firday, he didn't mention anything about him having feelings for me, but I know he's not saying anything about it for me... although he did slip up near the end of the day, as he said that August bank holiday will be different one way or another, because I had invited him to go on a road trip with me and family friends for the Leeds carnival.
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Postby Rail Runner » Fri May 18, 2007 6:35 pm

That statement sounds sorta strange..just be careful.
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Postby nap* » Sun Jun 10, 2007 9:53 am

Got a really funny situation right now... There is a third person in this situation. Me, David(Boy in love with me) and Adriano(Boy who has feelings David).

David has become more obsesive about me that I think that it is now a OCD, he's very codependant on me to ask him questions that he should already know the answers too. Even his MSN title shows it...

"The Comeback King: If one of us had to die, it would be me because I only live for you.
I wanted you to know, that I love the way you laugh, I love your smile and just everything that makes you, you!"

He was having a conversation with Adriano mid-week and he asked if David and I are a couple. David replied "we care about each other but not that much". Then for the rest of the week he kept "indirectly" hinting that he would like for us to be a couple.

Anyway, yesterday when David logged on to his MSN he received an offline message from Adriano and it said

"I know we're good friends and all but lately vie had this funny feeling that its stronger than that and I have no idea as to why I have this or when it began, please don’t think otherwise of me just because of this. Just thought I should you know because it's been eating me up inside for a while now and I also feel as if I don’t then I would feel bad for not having told you this. :x"

David directly said that he doesn't really care how Adriano feels about him. Which sounded completely heartless, and he said that "I'm his number 1" (It came from a situation along time ago, can't remeber one).

Adriano and were a conversation, because at first I thought David was trying to trick me, but it turned out to be true, he says that he said it because of his morals, and I told him to not be too obssesive, if he wanted to start a very unlikely relationship.

Anyway, what I want to know is how can I say to David to stop being obsesive because it is started to make me reconsider our friendship.
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Postby . » Sun Jun 10, 2007 4:39 pm

nap* wrote:Got a really funny situation right now... There is a third person in this situation. Me, David(Boy in love with me) and Adriano(Boy who has feelings David).

David has become more obsesive about me that I think that it is now a OCD, he's very codependant on me to ask him questions that he should already know the answers too. Even his MSN title shows it...

"The Comeback King: If one of us had to die, it would be me because I only live for you.
I wanted you to know, that I love the way you laugh, I love your smile and just everything that makes you, you!"

He was having a conversation with Adriano mid-week and he asked if David and I are a couple. David replied "we care about each other but not that much". Then for the rest of the week he kept "indirectly" hinting that he would like for us to be a couple.

Anyway, yesterday when David logged on to his MSN he received an offline message from Adriano and it said

"I know we're good friends and all but lately vie had this funny feeling that its stronger than that and I have no idea as to why I have this or when it began, please don’t think otherwise of me just because of this. Just thought I should you know because it's been eating me up inside for a while now and I also feel as if I don’t then I would feel bad for not having told you this. :x"

David directly said that he doesn't really care how Adriano feels about him. Which sounded completely heartless, and he said that "I'm his number 1" (It came from a situation along time ago, can't remeber one).

Adriano and were a conversation, because at first I thought David was trying to trick me, but it turned out to be true, he says that he said it because of his morals, and I told him to not be too obssesive, if he wanted to start a very unlikely relationship.

Anyway, what I want to know is how can I say to David to stop being obsesive because it is started to make me reconsider our friendship.


See I find this particular situation funny, because like Kevin Smith says "Best Friendship is just one blow job away from being gay."

AN-E-WAYZ prehaps you should reiterate the whole You're Not Gay and will never like him in that was type thing.
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Postby Rail Runner » Sun Jun 10, 2007 6:14 pm

Exactly..just reiterate to him that you arent gay, and that if this continues, then you may have to take another course of action, i.e. not being friends with him or something. This guy seems like he is pushing a bit more.
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Postby Lola » Wed Jun 13, 2007 7:58 pm

ThePepsiPiper wrote:Interesting.

Just tell him just that. Your not gay, Your his brother from another mother. just be up front about it. In theory, he should be respectful to that.


Yeah. what he said. makes a lot of sense :D
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