Problems with this girl since 3 years

[laserodd offline]

I've known this girl in my school for 3 years now. Me and her are now going to high school but the problem is that she won't go with me. Now I've gone everything to changing who I am for her to even buying stuff for her. Everyone of my friend that are girls keep telling me I'm so nice and they don't no why she won't go out with me at all. To everyone else i'm nice but to this girl she hates me but want to talk to me. I've also found out that she hates me lots but she cares. What is most confusing is that throughout the 3 years i've met her and tlak to her, when inaccients have happen. Between me and her she trys to cover it up and starts crying for me. Like once this year i got piss off at her because she threw alway my V-day's gift behide my back,(i knew because a friend of her told me), so then the next day a friend of mines said if i wanted to sya something to her so i called her something says (can't say because of the hrash langunage) and then when she told ehr teacher, she got me in trouble which then we talk it out just her and me. Then she started crying for stuff i blamed myself for that lead to her change, she keep crying about that and saying it wasn't me. Then the next day she talking to her friend and she then blames it on me saying that it was my fault. Now only was i confuse but also lost. She also act different when i talk to her in front of her friends but when we're alone she acts kindly. Also some of her friends say she has feelings for me but from the looks of it, she doesn't. Now she doesn't talk to me at all. Also we had a dance on thursday, and i try asking her to dance but she just ran alway. I don't know what is really her problem but i'm confuse and want to know if anyone can help me solve this problem. Like trying to go out if her, why does she act different when her and me are just alone talking and different when her friends come. I also am close to killing myself after what i've gone through with this girl. So can anyone hlep me please?

[Gauntlet offline]

Have you asked yourself what is it that makes you want to give her that much power over you? Do you have anyone you can trust, like an adult or parent, that you can talk this over with?

If you didn't have this problem with this girl, would you say you'd have a happier life? If you want someone to talk to, please, don't hesitate to PM me, or AIM, whichever is easier for you.

[Rail Runner offline]

In all honesty, I think she has some deeper issues that she needs to have taken care of first. If I were you, I would just avoid her for a while, and see if things get better for you personally.

[laserodd offline]

thxs gauntlet but its use to talk to my parents or my friends about it and also highway runner i've tired doing that and nottin has changed

[Rail Runner offline]

Well...I have another suggestion...find a day when you and her both have time, and pull her aside privately and ask her about her problems, and maybe try and offer her some help..maybe once she sees that you are a true friend, she will calm down some around you and not do what she is doing.

[laserodd offline]

i've try doing that but i belive i metion ti in my first post, she runs alway or hides with her friend when i try do, even when i seek up on her she still getys alway. :/

[Reploid CB]

I'm going with the "she's got some deeper issues to work out herself" thing, too.. Well, you said she was avoiding you lately, right? Maybe you can get one of her friends to pass along the message to her that you wanna see her. Then try to talk to her, just the two of you, maybe tell her that what you two talk about stays between the two of you. She might not run away then.. (Of course though, I don't really know the girl either so I can't really say ^^;;; )

Hope that helps..somehow ^^;...

[laserodd offline]

thxs for the idea but i though of that when highway runner said try talking to her but her friend say then they won't do that for me :/

[Rail Runner offline]

Then the only thing I can say is just sit back and let her figure out her own stuff.

[laserodd offline]

not a bad idea i'll try it out but how does that still solve this problem?

[Rail Runner offline]

Laserodd, sometimes you cant solve a problem, you just have to let it play itself out. I have been through similar situations, and have learned this lesson on a few occasions.

[Lola offline]

Aww!! I know girls like this and I hate them. they always do that to guys. laserodd I don't think its worth it.

[Overcaffeinated Sloth offline]

I know how it is. you feel like you want to change everything to end up with everything so perfect. But you find yourself in a heap of trouble when it comes around again.

This is where that look before you leap part comes in.

Remember: you can change once for someone. But you can't change back for yourself. If you start becoming different for someone else, you start to lose yourself, and you need something else to go to if you ever want things to be balanced.

And aslo, love is like a flower. The ones that are grown with hard work are the best, because the ones that are bought are usually cut off and wilt in a while.

[Gauntlet offline]

Remember: you can change once for someone. But you can't change back for yourself. If you start becoming different for someone else, you start to lose yourself, and you need something else to go to if you ever want things to be balanced.

And aslo, love is like a flower. The ones that are grown with hard work are the best, because the ones that are bought are usually cut off and wilt in a while.

Perfect complement to what we've all been saying, with a touch of poetry. Good advice right there.

[laserodd offline]

Gauntlet your right about angelbolt, angelbolt thxs for the advice and i like that poem, and lola your right now that i think of it, its not worth it, And highway runner your right too, i guess i'm going to have to let go and see how everything turns out to be at the end

[jaimehlers offline]

One thing you should stop doing is pursuing her when she's making it clear she isn't interested (at least not "that way"). Basically, stop trying to make her like you and just be yourself. If she is interested, she'll come to you. If not, then it wasn't meant to be. But if you keep pushing, it'll just keep getting worse.

[laserodd offline]

i see but i try that the 2nd year which really wasn't any use to then this year i went back to my old methods