My Best Friend Has a Huge Crush on me

[starzgirl1 offline]

Last year, I met my best friend. He was the only boy I could actually be open with. He was always there for me.

But last weekend, we were watching movies at his place and when the movie was over he told me he's had a huge crush on me for a long time.

I couldn't believe my ears, and didn't know what to say. Luckily, I had to get home, so I didn't have to say anything.

But he's going to want an answer soon, about whether or not I like him back, and I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I can't say yes and not mean it.

What should I do?

[Kamekai offline]

If you don't like him like that, say no. That's not mean, and it's better than saying yes, trust me. Just say no, and continue hanging out with him. That's it.

[Lyoko SA80 offline]

Well no is a stong answer .Do you have any feels for him at all or would you can him a boyfriend .I can't realy say much at this point .It up to you how do you feel about this .

[Lyoko Wario offline]

Come on, is this really a problem? I would advise you to think about this very carefully before you give him an answer. First off, think only about how you feel about him, and forget what your friends think for the moment. Think about whether you have love and affection for him, and if you think you could love him consistently and be happy. Listen to both your head and your heart and choose what you think will be the best course of action. Don't make a rushed choice, but just as well, don't pass up what might be a good opportunity.

You know best.

[zex marquise offline]

And remember you don't have to answer him with a door-slamming NO. You could always tell him that you don't love him, but that perhaps in time you will grow closer. Gets you off the hook and keeps him content, if a bit hopeful.

[Overcaffeinated Sloth offline]

Well... there sre guys that are answering, aren't they? So obvious, Guys, come on. You don't see how hard it is, this is a subject I hardly think you'd specialize in.

I can't tell you what to do, nor can I give you any advice without biasing on an answer, starzgirl. The only thing I can say is just take some time to think about it, and don't just rush off an answer. Try talking to him about it, and you might find an answer there, m'kay? And don't forget to come back and tell us if anything happened!

[. offline]

Well... there sre guys that are answering, aren't they? So obvious, Guys, come on. You don't see how hard it is, this is a subject I hardly think you'd specialize in.

I can't tell you what to do, nor can I give you any advice without biasing on an answer, starzgirl. The only thing I can say is just take some time to think about it, and don't just rush off an answer. Try talking to him about it, and you might find an answer there, m'kay? And don't forget to come back and tell us if anything happened!

Yeah exactly I mean what would a guy like me have ANNNNNYYYY idea what heart break, trajedy, and getting shot down by a girl is like. Yeah my golly gee gosh Angie, thank you so much for showing me the error of my ways and just how wrong I was. Certainly a male such as my self can not be at ALL helpful on this subject because of my gender. Oh please forgive O' Queen Of Lyokofreak.

Please by all means, Barbie, note what it says on my Avatar.

*deep breath*

Now obviously you don't like this kid back because if you did this wouldn't be a problem. So the question is how can you go about this with out messing up your friendship? Well, lollipop, heres where it's strength is going to be put to it's limit. I suggest telling him to his face, perferably at his house or at some secluded meeting point (never in public, because that can be humilating). Then explain it to him nicely, then leave. Yeah I know that gonna take a lot of courage, but doing things the right way is never easy. And this last bit is the hardest. After the deed is done, don't come in contact with him again. Not for a good long while. He's going to need time to heal up and if your around well that won't happen.

Or ya know, there is the logically thing of actually maybe seeing if you like him back. Mmmm? Slight golden oppurtunity there of a relationship on pre-existing trust. *sigh* but I certainly know how un-desirable that sounds ya? my god who would want that?

[Gauntlet offline]

Well... there sre guys that are answering, aren't they? So obvious, Guys, come on. You don't see how hard it is, this is a subject I hardly think you'd specialize in.

I can't tell you what to do, nor can I give you any advice without biasing on an answer, starzgirl. The only thing I can say is just take some time to think about it, and don't just rush off an answer. Try talking to him about it, and you might find an answer there, m'kay? And don't forget to come back and tell us if anything happened!

Yeah exactly I mean what would a guy like me have ANNNNNYYYY idea what heart break, trajedy, and getting shot down by a girl is like. Yeah my golly gee gosh Angie, thank you so much for showing me the error of my ways and just how wrong I was. Certainly a male such as my self can not be at ALL helpful on this subject because of my gender. Oh please forgive O' Queen Of Lyokofreak.

Please by all means, Barbie, note what it says on my Avatar.

*deep breath*

I love this guy sometimes. Sometimes.

I'd say Piper was right on the money actually. Explain it to him as best you can--feeding him false hope is really just setting him up on some crutches then kicking them from under him. I assume that if you're good friends with a respectable and decent person, so I'm sure he has good qualities. Enlighten him on those without sounding like a used car salesman. If he's not too bright, he might feel like something is wrong with him because you don't share the same feelings. If he's got a good head on his shoulders, he may need a few days to recover and do some serious introspection before things can shape up again.

Don't wait for him to make the first move (after you explain the situation to him), which may come off as neglecting him. Just give him some time to think about it--again, some reassurance that it's not his fault may be what he needs to not come crashing down and still keep your friendship in tact. I'm not advising you to idolize him and make him feel like a god, but I'm sure both genders would appreciate some form of feedback. Even the sharpest cookies can't help but feel it's their problem, and the simplest bit of acknowledgment can do a world of difference.

[zex marquise offline]

Well... there sre guys that are answering, aren't they? So obvious, Guys, come on. You don't see how hard it is, this is a subject I hardly think you'd specialize in.

I can't tell you what to do, nor can I give you any advice without biasing on an answer, starzgirl. The only thing I can say is just take some time to think about it, and don't just rush off an answer. Try talking to him about it, and you might find an answer there, m'kay? And don't forget to come back and tell us if anything happened!

Yeah exactly I mean what would a guy like me have ANNNNNYYYY idea what heart break, trajedy, and getting shot down by a girl is like. Yeah my golly gee gosh Angie, thank you so much for showing me the error of my ways and just how wrong I was. Certainly a male such as my self can not be at ALL helpful on this subject because of my gender. Oh please forgive O' Queen Of Lyokofreak.

Please by all means, Barbie, note what it says on my Avatar.

*deep breath*

Now obviously you don't like this kid back because if you did this wouldn't be a problem. So the question is how can you go about this with out messing up your friendship? Well, lollipop, heres where it's strength is going to be put to it's limit. I suggest telling him to his face, perferably at his house or at some secluded meeting point (never in public, because that can be humilating). Then explain it to him nicely, then leave. Yeah I know that gonna take a lot of courage, but doing things the right way is never easy. And this last bit is the hardest. After the deed is done, don't come in contact with him again. Not for a good long while. He's going to need time to heal up and if your around well that won't happen.

Or ya know, there is the logically thing of actually maybe seeing if you like him back. Mmmm? Slight golden oppurtunity there of a relationship on pre-existing trust. *sigh* but I certainly know how un-desirable that sounds ya? my god who would want that?

Holy! This guy sounds just like the real Cox. I gotta say that's pretty darn admirable. Think of the time it must have taken to learn how to talk like that...

I would definitely give your friend some space for a few days if you tell him you're not interested. If your around him constantly right after you lay it out for him then he's going to feel terrible.

[Lyoko Wario offline]

Holy! This guy sounds just like the real Cox. I gotta say that's pretty darn admirable. Think of the time it must have taken to learn how to talk like that...

I thought the same thing.

Now, about this false hope thing, the way I see it a guy could give a girl false hope just as easily as it can happen the other way around, so as far as I'm concerned I'm every bit as qualified to give some advice as any of the girls here. That being said, I would like to enforce what I said before. You never want to lose a friend over something like this. Make it perfectly clear to him (if you're going to say no, of course) that you do have love for him but you don't love him in a romantic sense. To be extra nice, (and I myself have done this, so no flaming) let him know you would be very sad if he didn't want to be your friend anymore. If you need some more time to think about it, tell him that... but only if it's true.

[Overcaffeinated Sloth offline]

Yes, and TPP, I'm very sure that you view it like that. But have you ever had a friend you're close with ask you out? It's not a case of getting shot down. Please consider this when I say it's more like trying not to hurt a friend.

And I never said you were wrong! I was adressing it to the n00bs who were posting. Come on, You're a LF regular, look at their posts!

And the posts I saw before just seemed a little awkward before, okay? I'm not saying you're wrong. Ijust think that the people who posted before weren't really being that supportive, that's all.

[. offline]

Yes, and TPP, I'm very sure that you view it like that. But have you ever had a friend you're close with ask you out? It's not a case of getting shot down. Please consider this when I say it's more like trying not to hurt a friend.

And I never said you were wrong! I was adressing it to the n00bs who were posting. Come on, You're a LF regular, look at their posts!

And the posts I saw before just seemed a little awkward before, okay? I'm not saying you're wrong. Ijust think that the people who posted before weren't really being that supportive, that's all.

Sounded a bit sexist is all I'm saying.

[Overcaffeinated Sloth offline]

Sorry if it came across that way, TPP. I really didn't mean for it to come out that way.

Maybe it was guys as in the mixed gender term...

so anyways, back on topic.

[Lyoko Wario offline]

I was adressing it to the n00bs who were posting. Come on, You're a LF regular, look at their

(cries) I am not a n00b!

Hey, I may be a n00b, but how long I've been here has nothing to do with how the problem ought to be handled.

[JesusFreak offline]

Yes. it should be by comptetancy of answers, not seniority of suggester. Which is why I'm not gonna say anything else on this subject.