So confused

[LadyLucy offline]

YEah, it's me again. I know I haven't been around for a while. Sorry about that....

You've probably guessed why I'm ranting.
Yes, it's another thing about love. Or...almost.
I have a long rant, so get your readers ready.

Ok.
I have a girlfriend. Or...well, she's my fiancee, only we haven't gotten the rings yet. Lover, fiancee, call it what you want.
She lives 7 hours away from me.
And my mother refuses to let me contact her (or any one else, for that matter)
I'm 19, so I could leave if I wanted, but I have no where. I don't want to burden any of my friends. And I love most of my family.
I don't want to choses between them. I love Macie (my girl) but I love my family. I want my parents to come to the ceremony.
****
ok, that's one over with.
Next problem.
Macie, my girl, is getting worryed that, since we met on the internet, we may not be as compatable as we think we are.
Right now, we talk on the phone, and e-mail. All the time. Everyday. I think I have a pretty good idea of what she's like.
If I didn't, I wouldn't love her like I do.
However, i know what she's talking about. Others have warned me of the same thing.
I wish I knew what to tell her, to help her realize that, no matter what, we'll work it out. And if the unthinkable happens, I won't break her heart. I won't say goodbye. I'd rather have my own heart broken then break hers.
Yes, she means that much to me.
Sad, maybe, but I don't care.
****
Last rant.

My mom.
Other than refusing to believe that I'm bi, that I have girlfriend, and not letting me talk to anyone from school. (Which includes Liza- BillyGirl- my soul-sister, Anthony- Highway Runner-, who is like an older brother too me-, and anyone else.) Liza and Macie have both tried to call. Mom hung up on Liza, and made me hang up on Macie by threating to unplug the phone.
But that's not the only thing.
She is becoming obessed with my appernce. I know I"m not pretty, but I am- in my mind- ok, 'cause I don't have bad skin, and I'm of average weight.
Acording to mom, however, I stink, I have an acne problem- she bought me proactive, and had a fit when my break out wasn't gone after the first night I tried it-, and I'm over weight (I weigh about 140-ish lbs.). If I have a piece of cake, I get yelled at. Once piece. Or one cookie.
Yes, I know I need to be heathy, but what she is doing isn't healthy either.
The worst part is, that when I tell that she isn't helping, that she's just hurting me, she get's all defencive, telling me that if she didn't get on my case, I wouldn't do it all, and to just be quiet cause she's my mother, so I have to obey.
She truely think's she's helping.

I'm not ranting 'cause I'm whining...but I felt that, if I don't write this down somewhere, I was gonna explode.
Anyway, I'll shut up now.

[. offline]

*cracks knuckles* well boys and girls, here we go.

Okay first things first, I'm going to avoid that whole mother issue. Because you pretty much answered it yourself, you can either try to either get it threw her thickskull and tell her to stop being so overbearing OR move out. Take your pick.

THAT BEING SAID~!

So you're 19. And you think you've found the absolute love of your life.... off the computer.... with a girl you've never even seen in person... and you all ready want to get married.

Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak? Or do you just drift in and out?

Around 60% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce (I think thats around the right number, if not hirer). And thats because the people don't give their relationship enough time to mature. Yeah sure you might have a deep emotional bond with this person, but would it KILL YA to actually see the person and date them a while before you do something such as marriage?

Yes I'm aware your mother won't let you see her. Hey theres a thought, if you can't deal with your own mother how do you expect to over come the challenges that marriage lays out before a couple? Let alone a same-sex marriage.... Let alone the fact that technically you haven't even braved the challenges that couple faces just by dating.[/list]

[LadyLucy offline]

Nope, I drift in and out.

Neither of us care what anyone else thinks of us. We know that people don't except same-sex relationships, but we don't care.
1. If an acutall wedding happens, we're having it Massachusets, which allows same sex marriages. If we deside to do a hand-fasting, or some other thing, then we don't even have to worry about the place, technicly.
Honestly? I'd LOVE to date her. I'd love to do what you suggested, because I know that's safer. However, it's impossiable. Like I said, it's a long distance relationship, and since I'm barely allowed out of my house, I don't think that's possiable. And besides, we wouldn't tie the knot until at LEAST next year. Lots of time for us to mature. ^_^

I stick by a simple rule when it comes to the whole divorce thing.
It's the easy way out, and (Macie and I have talked about this) I don't agree with it. The only reason, in my mind, to get a divorce would be if the other person is abusive or cheating.
Which won't happen.

[. offline]

Nope, I drift in and out.

Neither of us care what anyone else thinks of us. We know that people don't except same-sex relationships, but we don't care.
1. If an acutall wedding happens, we're having it Massachusets, which allows same sex marriages. If we deside to do a hand-fasting, or some other thing, then we don't even have to worry about the place, technicly.
Honestly? I'd LOVE to date her. I'd love to do what you suggested, because I know that's safer. However, it's impossiable. Like I said, it's a long distance relationship, and since I'm barely allowed out of my house, I don't think that's possiable. And besides, we wouldn't tie the knot until at LEAST next year. Lots of time for us to mature. ^_^

I stick by a simple rule when it comes to the whole divorce thing.
It's the easy way out, and (Macie and I have talked about this) I don't agree with it. The only reason, in my mind, to get a divorce would be if the other person is abusive or cheating.
Which won't happen.

You have no idea the lions den your walking into. Thats my fair warning.

[Lola offline]

ThePepsiPiper is right. and take it from me. if you meet someone on the internet IT WILL NOT work out. and a year is not a long time. my daddy knew my mom for 3 years before he considered popping the question.

[MY85 offline]

A relationship can ruin a friendship. That's based from experience.

[. offline]

ThePepsiPiper is right. and take it from me. if you meet someone on the internet IT WILL NOT work out. and a year is not a long time. my daddy knew my mom for 3 years before he considered popping the question.

slight correction. if you know them STRICTLY on the internet, yeah your fed over. Like the song goes:

You've got your love on line
and you think your doing fine
but your just plugged into the wall

[Stonecreek]

A relationship can ruin a friendship. That's based from experience.

Unfortunaetly, this is completely true, and for the same reasons as Rodri. Anyway, I am severly mistrustful of Internet relationships, simply because you cannot truly know who you're dealing with until you actually meet them. It's OK to pal around with people (like on here), but trying to move it to a more serious emotional level is fraught with problems, and I for one would rather not chance it.

[LadyLucy offline]

Honestly, it's a bit too late for that. I know it's hard. All my relationships have been on the internet (sadly, because no one in the area, male or female, seems to notice I even exist). Macie and I were friends befor eshe asked me to be her girlfriend, and I suspect that, if the unthinkable does happen, and we break up, we will still be good friends.
The reason I wrote this rant was mostly about my mother's controling, not to hear the same 'oh, it will never work' over and over again. No offence. I'm just being honest.

[. offline]

Honestly, it's a bit too late for that. I know it's hard. All my relationships have been on the internet (sadly, because no one in the area, male or female, seems to notice I even exist). Macie and I were friends befor eshe asked me to be her girlfriend, and I suspect that, if the unthinkable does happen, and we break up, we will still be good friends.
The reason I wrote this rant was mostly about my mother's controling, not to hear the same 'oh, it will never work' over and over again. No offence. I'm just being honest.

If your married.... mmm, spousal support payments, splitting of assests.... various other nixes

[LadyLucy offline]

She's (going to be) a music teacher, me, a music theorpist. I think we have the money-bit covered.
And what's the second one? English please?

[Overcaffeinated Sloth offline]

ThePepsiPiper is right. and take it from me. if you meet someone on the internet IT WILL NOT work out. and a year is not a long time. my daddy knew my mom for 3 years before he considered popping the question.

slight correction. if you know them STRICTLY on the internet, yeah your fed over.

That is true, there are a lot of relationships over the internet, and they rarely work out. And it's true, most aren't real.

But you know, sometimes there are some that do work. But you have no way to tell if they're real or not, so you just have to trust your feelings.

[DeadViolet offline]

ThePepsiPiper is right. and take it from me. if you meet someone on the internet IT WILL NOT work out.

I met my BF on the Internet he loves me very much. ^^

[Lola offline]

ThePepsiPiper is right. and take it from me. if you meet someone on the internet IT WILL NOT work out. and a year is not a long time. my daddy knew my mom for 3 years before he considered popping the question.

slight correction. if you know them STRICTLY on the internet, yeah your fed over.

That is true, there are a lot of relationships over the internet, and they rarely work out. And it's true, most aren't real.

But you know, sometimes there are some that do work. But you have no way to tell if they're real or not, so you just have to trust your feelings.

blah. I trusted my feelings and I dont even want to get into what ended up happening

[DeadViolet offline]

Your Mother can't control you forever, you know. Your 19, your an Adult. Run away with your Sweetheart, screw your Mom. ^^

[Kamekai offline]

You might wanna reword that... :S

I say go for it, if it doesn't work out, there's always the sewers!

[Overcaffeinated Sloth offline]

Your Mother can't control you forever, you know. Your 19, your an Adult. Run away with your Sweetheart, screw your Mom. ^^

Can't alope, he hates melons!

[LadyLucy offline]

O.O....ok? lol

I wish I could leave my mom..that'd be nice.
But thanks for posting! I just get messed up sometimes...I guess that's why Rant's good...

[DeadViolet offline]

Your Mother can't control you forever, you know. Your 19, your an Adult. Run away with your Sweetheart, screw your Mom. ^^

Can't alope, he hates melons!

*growls* This is no time for joking!!

[codeTONY offline]

WE ARE ALL GAY

it seems.

Um. I'm not gonna tell you that a successful relationship cannot be pulled out of a computer, because it can. In fact, it's easier to meet the perfect person on the vast wonderland that is the internet, because you meet them through things you both enjoy. Most of my best friend I met through the internet.

Face it: there are upsides and downsides to this. Meet her. That's all there is to it. Compatibility can only be ensured that way.

[. offline]

WE ARE ALL GAY

it seems.

Um. I'm not gonna tell you that a successful relationship cannot be pulled out of a computer, because it can. In fact, it's easier to meet the perfect person on the vast wonderland that is the internet, because you meet them through things you both enjoy. Most of my best friend I met through the internet.

Face it: there are upsides and downsides to this. Meet her. That's all there is to it. Compatibility can only be ensured that way.

...? Why do we all appear to be of the homosexual persuasion? Not that theres anything wrong with that....

[FènéethxAelita offline]

The Pepsi Piper is right, altough this is even worse than that. Probably the reason why you're bi-curious is your mother's obbsession with your appearance, though this isn't new, your sub-conciously rebelling against her. Yes, they are related. I'm sure Macie is a great person, but one yr isn't long enough. Your only 19, you need more life experience and you'll meet other people. You also need to spend some time in person with each other. Though most would say I'm wrong, relationships do need a strong sex life to stay strong; no matter how close you two are, without it, you avoid contact with each other. If you are sexually attracted to women, (which I doubt, because true bisexuals see beyond gender) than you could have a stable, long-lasting marrige, though shortened by stress caused by society's disapproval. One thing is true, you have to choose one or the other. But I beg you, please don't marry her yet! Confirm your sexuallity, then you could get a sex change if needed!

Pleasssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeee listen to me, Vanessa!

[Gauntlet offline]

The Pepsi Piper is right, altough this is even worse than that. Probably the reason why you're bi-curious is your mother's obbsession with your appearance, though this isn't new, your sub-conciously rebelling against her. Yes, they are related. I'm sure Macie is a great person, but one yr isn't long enough. Your only 19, you need more life experience and you'll meet other people. You also need to spend some time in person with each other. Though most would say I'm wrong, relationships do need a strong sex life to stay strong; no matter how close you two are, without it, you avoid contact with each other. If you are sexually attracted to women, (which I doubt, because true bisexuals see beyond gender) than you could have a stable, long-lasting marrige, though shortened by stress caused by society's disapproval. One thing is true, you have to choose one or the other. But I beg you, please don't marry her yet! Confirm your sexuallity, then you could get a sex change if needed!

Pleasssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeee listen to me, Vanessa!

I'm hesitant to pick apart the better part of your post, but I'll just seclude it to what you said about sex... Definitely do not rush into it. While, yes, it is an integral part of a relationship, it can end one just as quickly in other ways than breaking up. I can't give any predetermined set of time, but rushing into it probably isn't such a good idea. Starting a relationship off with that is even worse. It'll lead to some spiritual and emotional implications later on, if things go south.

I'm pretty sure Vanessa knew that, but just to make sure its clear. I'm pretty interested in hearing her thoughts on that post now.

[FènéethxAelita offline]

I realized that you can't rush into sex, or a relationship based only on sex. I assume Vanessa knows that. Still, if you don't feel attracted to the person's looks, it can weaken love because we are only human. We try to focus on values, but can't help but judge by appearance, eventually.

Furthermore, I realize bisexuality is a touchy subject, but I'm tring to be mature about it, though I do agree some feedback would be nice. But she isn't on LyokoFreak that often anymore, as she mentioned.

I'm only trying to help her have a long-lasting, successful relationship, which would eventually include sex, hopefully.

[Gauntlet offline]

I realized that you can't rush into sex, or a relationship based only on sex. I assume Vanessa knows that. Still, if you don't feel attracted to the person's looks, it can weaken love because we are only human. We try to focus on values, but can't help but judge by appearance.

People become a lot more beautiful when you actually love them and have genuine feelings for them. Physical appearances don't play as big of a role as one would think, at least in serious, long-term relationships. Some spouses have loved and accepted their physically ill partners--be it obesity, disease, or injuries--and still have a productive life with their spouse. The physical appearance argument is moot.

Anyways, I think we're getting off-topic, and really going nowhere useful since Vanessa understands this, hopefully. Maybe if she wants to continue, it can pick up again.