So confused

[FènéethxAelita offline]

They are both important, though you are correct love doesn't necessarly require outward beauty.
I'm done.

[LadyLucy offline]

O.o...this conversation is getting werider and werider....Sex and gender and love and all kinds of stuff....
when I was just ranting about my over-protective mother....

[FènéethxAelita offline]

O.o...this conversation is getting werider and werider....Sex and gender and love and all kinds of stuff....
when I was just ranting about my over-protective mother....

You gotta admit your going to get responses from bisexuallity.

[ambitiouslove offline]

Hmm.. sorry but I've got to throw in some thoughts into this as well xD

Internet relationships DO work out. For example, I met my husband on the internet. I have no problem admitting that. We met after talking for about 4 days and ended up getting married after 4 months. We're still married, and it'll be 2 years in November. My sister met her fiance on the internet too, same way I did. She's never been happier and she's getting married in November. Now, I'm not saying it always works out like this, and I was 22, had a car, and was about to graduate college when I met my husband. Just because stats might say differently, it doesn't mean that YOU have to fall into it

I agree with everyone says though... meet your lady love before progressing any further. Your situation reminds me of one my coworker went through... she met a guy who was 19, who proposed to her after 1 weekend of talking, he moved down here (she paid his bus ticket) to be with her, and he moved back home after 2 weeks.

My parents were really overbearing and overprotective when I lived with them. I would say that if you can't stand your mom, then you should get a job, save some money and move out asap. If you can't drive, then walk to work. If you can/want to, enroll in a college hours away. If you can't afford college (I know I couldn't), get financial aid. You're 19 and you're old enough to totally create the ways to get out of a bad situation, basically getting a job and moving out (I'm not sure what the legal age for getting a lease on an apartment is there, though).

NO matter what, good luck to you! Planning ahead and thinking of what you would do when a situation pops up is NOT the same as actually experience it. Life turns out a lot differently than you'd think. Just be smart and you'll be fine

[Cassius335 offline]

****
Last rant.

My mom.
Other than refusing to believe that I'm bi, that I have girlfriend, and not letting me talk to anyone from school. (Which includes Liza- BillyGirl- my soul-sister, Anthony- Highway Runner-, who is like an older brother too me-, and anyone else.) Liza and Macie have both tried to call. Mom hung up on Liza, and made me hang up on Macie by threating to unplug the phone.
But that's not the only thing.
She is becoming obessed with my appernce. I know I"m not pretty, but I am- in my mind- ok, 'cause I don't have bad skin, and I'm of average weight.
Acording to mom, however, I stink, I have an acne problem- she bought me proactive, and had a fit when my break out wasn't gone after the first night I tried it-, and I'm over weight (I weigh about 140-ish lbs.). If I have a piece of cake, I get yelled at. Once piece. Or one cookie.
Yes, I know I need to be heathy, but what she is doing isn't healthy either.
The worst part is, that when I tell that she isn't helping, that she's just hurting me, she get's all defencive, telling me that if she didn't get on my case, I wouldn't do it all, and to just be quiet cause she's my mother, so I have to obey.
She truely think's she's helping.

My mother was very similar (especially without Dad to hold her back). At what point did verbal abuse become an ok parenting tactic?

[LadyLucy offline]

****
Last rant.

My mom.
Other than refusing to believe that I'm bi, that I have girlfriend, and not letting me talk to anyone from school. (Which includes Liza- BillyGirl- my soul-sister, Anthony- Highway Runner-, who is like an older brother too me-, and anyone else.) Liza and Macie have both tried to call. Mom hung up on Liza, and made me hang up on Macie by threating to unplug the phone.
But that's not the only thing.
She is becoming obessed with my appernce. I know I"m not pretty, but I am- in my mind- ok, 'cause I don't have bad skin, and I'm of average weight.
Acording to mom, however, I stink, I have an acne problem- she bought me proactive, and had a fit when my break out wasn't gone after the first night I tried it-, and I'm over weight (I weigh about 140-ish lbs.). If I have a piece of cake, I get yelled at. Once piece. Or one cookie.
Yes, I know I need to be heathy, but what she is doing isn't healthy either.
The worst part is, that when I tell that she isn't helping, that she's just hurting me, she get's all defencive, telling me that if she didn't get on my case, I wouldn't do it all, and to just be quiet cause she's my mother, so I have to obey.
She truely think's she's helping.

My mother was very similar (especially without Dad to hold her back). At what point did verbal abuse become an ok parenting tactic?

Good question...

[. offline]

****
Last rant.

My mom.
Other than refusing to believe that I'm bi, that I have girlfriend, and not letting me talk to anyone from school. (Which includes Liza- BillyGirl- my soul-sister, Anthony- Highway Runner-, who is like an older brother too me-, and anyone else.) Liza and Macie have both tried to call. Mom hung up on Liza, and made me hang up on Macie by threating to unplug the phone.
But that's not the only thing.
She is becoming obessed with my appernce. I know I"m not pretty, but I am- in my mind- ok, 'cause I don't have bad skin, and I'm of average weight.
Acording to mom, however, I stink, I have an acne problem- she bought me proactive, and had a fit when my break out wasn't gone after the first night I tried it-, and I'm over weight (I weigh about 140-ish lbs.). If I have a piece of cake, I get yelled at. Once piece. Or one cookie.
Yes, I know I need to be heathy, but what she is doing isn't healthy either.
The worst part is, that when I tell that she isn't helping, that she's just hurting me, she get's all defencive, telling me that if she didn't get on my case, I wouldn't do it all, and to just be quiet cause she's my mother, so I have to obey.
She truely think's she's helping.

My mother was very similar (especially without Dad to hold her back). At what point did verbal abuse become an ok parenting tactic?

Well it's not like when your born parents are given a how to guide for raising kids. They might not know better aside from giving a d*mn

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

Listen to me Vanessa, you forget a. you could quite get arrested being that you are nineteen and she is literally four or three years younger. b If you go through with this your mother will either arrest you or exile you for the rest of your life. c. I don't want you to get in trouble because you are not using the brain god gave you. d. I have told you and given you advice all that I can give. e. Now I am going to just have to step back from this one. Don't get me wrong you are one of my best friends one of the only ones I actually have and I don't want to see you get hurt. But I no longer know what to tell you and I am sorry. But I beg you to please listen to PepsiePiper and the others. Please listen to us, before you get hurt. I am sorry but I cannot deal with this any more. It makes me sad and ticked off that you allow your mother to rule you. Also you allow your heart to rule your judgement, Vanessa Listen to what the others tell you and think about how it could damage everything if you you are not careful.THINK ABOUT IT!!!
PLEASE USE REASON BEFORE YOU DIG YOUR SELF INTO A HOLE THAT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DIG YOUR SELF OUT OF. AND GET AWAY FROM YOUR MOTHER BEFORE SHE ENDS UP KILLIN YA.
( I appologize to anyone on this thread in advance if I seem harsh or have broken any rules but What I have spoken is pure truth. I am sorry if I have offended but what I said needed to be said.)

[Rail Runner offline]

Vanessa...I know this may sound hard to believe...but we are trying to save you from making a mistake....as I told you before..the best option would be for you and Macie to wait to get together until she is legal...not 17...but 18...18 is the legal age. The problem is that both of you are too impatient, and both of you act like our advice is the most painful thing ever...at least thats how Macie acts when I talk to her...she acts like I am the worst person in the world unless I tell her that I agree with whatever she says..and puts a guilt trip on me whenever I am just being honest. You both ask me for honesty...I give it, but yet yall..*at least she* acts like I dropped a bomb or something.

What about the fact that you just got a job...Macie wants to pull you away from that *the last time I talked to her* I think both of you need to slow down....neither one of you are ready like you think you are. The best thing would be to save up as much money as you can until she is legal...that way you wont put yourself in a bind financially. Also, this will give you time to let the relationship grow...not rushing into things like yall are doing now. You and her are definitely not ready to be married..it would be a major mistake at this time.

We care about your safety Vanessa, and your sanity as well. You are one of the best friends we have..and we dont want to lose you in a bad situation because you or Macie cant exert a bit of patience. The best things are definitely worth waiting for. We care about ya Nessa...remember that...and that is why we are saying all of this.

[Kamekai offline]

in Canada you can be twelve, I think. Why not move to Canada? Wait, no... don't listen to me. >_>
*Bad Kamekai!*

[Rail Runner offline]

Kamekai...this has nothing to do with Canada, and honestly...that isnt going to help the situation at all.

[. offline]

Vanessa...I know this may sound hard to believe...but we are trying to save you from making a mistake....as I told you before..the best option would be for you and Macie to wait to get together until she is legal...not 17...but 18...18 is the legal age. The problem is that both of you are too impatient, and both of you act like our advice is the most painful thing ever...at least thats how Macie acts when I talk to her...she acts like I am the worst person in the world unless I tell her that I agree with whatever she says..and puts a guilt trip on me whenever I am just being honest. You both ask me for honesty...I give it, but yet yall..*at least she* acts like I dropped a bomb or something.

What about the fact that you just got a job...Macie wants to pull you away from that *the last time I talked to her* I think both of you need to slow down....neither one of you are ready like you think you are. The best thing would be to save up as much money as you can until she is legal...that way you wont put yourself in a bind financially. Also, this will give you time to let the relationship grow...not rushing into things like yall are doing now. You and her are definitely not ready to be married..it would be a major mistake at this time.

We care about your safety Vanessa, and your sanity as well. You are one of the best friends we have..and we dont want to lose you in a bad situation because you or Macie cant exert a bit of patience. The best things are definitely worth waiting for. We care about ya Nessa...remember that...and that is why we are saying all of this.

Never thought I'd be in such alignment with the former STI. But yeah, spot on right there. I say again, more than half of marriages end in divorce. Most of the time it's becase people rush things before their ready.... other half of the time, well.... Go watch Dr. Phil and the girls go "Oh Dr. Phil, why does my husband beat me? I know he was violent but I only wanted to turn him into that nice kid I turn down in the six grade! How can I change him Dr. Phil?!" but thats a rant for another day.

If you really want it to work, you'll be patient enough to see it threw. And as harsh as it sounds, if your not willing to make that sacrafice you're not in love and don't even know the meaning of the word. You'll be being a child.

[Phoenix Wolf offline]

Vanessa...I know this may sound hard to believe...but we are trying to save you from making a mistake....as I told you before..the best option would be for you and Macie to wait to get together until she is legal...not 17...but 18...18 is the legal age. The problem is that both of you are too impatient, and both of you act like our advice is the most painful thing ever...at least thats how Macie acts when I talk to her...she acts like I am the worst person in the world unless I tell her that I agree with whatever she says..and puts a guilt trip on me whenever I am just being honest. You both ask me for honesty...I give it, but yet yall..*at least she* acts like I dropped a bomb or something.

What about the fact that you just got a job...Macie wants to pull you away from that *the last time I talked to her* I think both of you need to slow down....neither one of you are ready like you think you are. The best thing would be to save up as much money as you can until she is legal...that way you wont put yourself in a bind financially. Also, this will give you time to let the relationship grow...not rushing into things like yall are doing now. You and her are definitely not ready to be married..it would be a major mistake at this time.

We care about your safety Vanessa, and your sanity as well. You are one of the best friends we have..and we dont want to lose you in a bad situation because you or Macie cant exert a bit of patience. The best things are definitely worth waiting for. We care about ya Nessa...remember that...and that is why we are saying all of this.

Never thought I'd be in such alignment with the former STI. But yeah, spot on right there. I say again, more than half of marriages end in divorce. Most of the time it's becase people rush things before their ready.... other half of the time, well.... Go watch Dr. Phil and the girls go "Oh Dr. Phil, why does my husband beat me? I know he was violent but I only wanted to turn him into that nice kid I turn down in the six grade! How can I change him Dr. Phil?!" but thats a rant for another day.

If you really want it to work, you'll be patient enough to see it threw. And as harsh as it sounds, if your not willing to make that sacrafice you're not in love and don't even know the meaning of the word. You'll be being a child.

I agree there PepsiPiper, I think sometimes that what is thought love is only truely the denial of reality, an escape so to speak. In other words Vanessa you are using Macie as an escape to get away from your mother...

[Lyoko SA80 offline]

Well I really understand this love thing. But follow you heart.It will work out.