So, the "Twilight" fans formed their own religion

[Lyoko Wario offline]

Hold on ta' yer panties, faith-based community. Introducing... Cullenism!

[quote]Okay, this is getting out of hand. Bad enough that Twilight fans are congregating (and plotting, most likely) at Twilight theme parties; bad enough that they’re clogging the intertubes with millions of pages of Twilight fanfic, dressing in Twilight-themed clothing, and generally scaring the sh*t out of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. Now they’ve taken the next utterly logical, transcendently stupid step and formed their own religion. Cullenism is a simple faith, well suited to people whose taste in literature is as shaky as their grip on reality:

Their creed, say the Cullenists, includes a base set of beliefs that ‘Edward and the rest of the Twilight characters are real,’ that ‘[t]he Twilight series should be worshipped,’ and that ‘[i]f you are good in life, you will be bless[ed] with eternity with the Cullens.’

You’re also expected to read from the Twilight books every day, “like the Bible,â€

[. offline]

I've been in love with your sig pic for a long time, it makes me crave reading a fanfic about it.

literally a picture worth a 1,000 words/

[Tekirai offline]

*incoherent post of sheer disgust and ridicule*

[Carth]

Well. I can't think of any coherent, well-thought-out response to this, because clearly a warped brand of thought was involved in its creation. And by warped brand of thought, I mean either drugs, or toxic levels of estrogen. So, instead, I'm just going to laugh.

DAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[ccbtimewiz offline]

My reply:

http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/picard-facepalm.jpg

[. offline]

is it anymore worse then that other religion about the dead little Jewish fellow?

[Arcangel613 offline]

My reply:

http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/picard-facepalm.jpg

facepalm indeed my friend. Someone seriously needs to smack all of these crazy fangirls upside the head with their car. I mean seriously, their own religion now? it's people like this that make me want to commit muder.

can someone call stephaine Meyer and explain to her the damage her sparklepires are causing to all us sane people?

[Jeremified offline]

is it anymore worse then that other religion about the dead little Jewish fellow?

Twilight is fiction, as claimed by every sane person including the author. The Bible is far from being fiction, on the other hand.

[Lyoko Wario offline]

is it anymore worse then that other religion about the dead little Jewish fellow?

Twilight is fiction, as claimed by every sane person including the author. The Bible is far from being fiction, on the other hand.

If by "it's far from being fiction" you mean "it's almost entirely fiction", then you're correct, sir.

[Carth]

is it anymore worse then that other religion about the dead little Jewish fellow?

Twilight is fiction, as claimed by every sane person including the author. The Bible is far from being fiction, on the other hand.

If by "it's far from being fiction" you mean "it's almost entirely fiction", then you're correct, sir.

SO BACK ON THE SUBJECT OF THIS TWILIGHT RELIGION...

[Lyoko Wario offline]

So, yeah, those Twi-hards sure are nutty, huh?

Also, today's Entertainment Weekly had another loathsome Twilight cover. I will e-mail them and tell them that seven times is enough.

[Andy Waltfeld offline]

Whoa, what? A Cullenism that ISN'T founded on the teachings of Optimus Prime's perennial voice actor?

I smell lawsuit! Punitive damages: YOUR FACE.

[Vodka's Vengeance offline]

Just when I thought Twilight fans couldn't gey any stupider. I'm sorry, but Twilight is the most overrated series ever. I never could see what was so great about Robert Pattinson either, he looks like a heroin abuser. Not to mention, he must get very creeped out by his fans online.

[KAiRO offline]

Just when I thought Twilight fans couldn't gey any stupider. I'm sorry, but Twilight is the most overrated series ever. I never could see what was so great about Robert Pattinson either, he looks like a heroin abuser. Not to mention, he must get very creeped out by his fans online.

I second that.

[Rho offline]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c382/DigeratiPrime/Picard_Facepalm.jpg


Please let this awful fad die off soon.

[JesusFreak offline]

ohai.

[Lyoko Wario offline]

y hallo thar

[Malkmusian offline]

Whoever thought of this is an idiot.

No f-bombing in the open forum. - Carth

[Sithking Zero offline]

Heh, look at those idiots. Worshiping a fictional character, especailly a non-human one!

Now if you excuse me, I need to sacrifice this goat to Optimus Prime.

[Rho offline]

Especially a sparkling vampire.

I say we sacrifice him to XANA.

[Tom Bone offline]

Just when my faith in human kind was beginning to be restorrrrrrrred--bam!

[jym1 offline]

why didn't they make a Daniel Radcliffe religion?

[SearchingLyoko offline]

^They most likely did...

This religion cracks me up soooo much... but the people in Forks, Washington must be rich as freaking richdom.
___________________________________________________________________________

To vent my fury of twilightism...

I personally think I would have enjoyed twilight... but I CANNOT bring myself to read it amongst this stupidness...

I got the book for last christmas... I have never opened it. I use it to kill bugs in my house.
__________

At the bookstore...

Well... I love books. I wholeheartedly admire them. The only thing I like better then a good book are a few, very few select TV shows (*cough*CodeLyokoandanythingonUSA*cough*)

Today, I was there buying for my own enjoyment... wishing the CL novels were there.

At the same time though... I had to get a book for my English class... so I headed over to the teen section.

It made my cry.

The whole thing was a Twilight-Fest! NINE OUT OF TEN BOOKS was a vampire book, cult-supernatural (supernatural things are awesome... but when you claim to be a werewolf... you're crazy), or trashy romance.

In front of the Teen bookcases was an altar to evil itself... a whole table... and more... PILED with Twilight fandom. It made me want to scream.. and I did vent my anger while searching for books.

When I finally shifted through all the idiocratic vampire novels and mushy romances in the Teen section... I FINALLY came across a classic book, which would fit the theme of the novel I needed, love, nicely. It was "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte.

Then I noticed something... it made my cry.

On the cover, in the corner were the words "Bella and Edwards favorite book."

I almost didn't buy it... I searched EVERYWHERE for the same book with a different cover... but alas I could not find it... so I ultimately had to give into buying that heineous copy instead of deal with stupid romances...

I still plan on cutting off the Twilight reference, though.