The Vending Machine 1.1

[Asantewaalrus offline]

You get a talking gnome... an explosive talking gnome.

I put in nothing for there's an explosive gnome and I sure as hell am not gonna splatter blood on the new machine. D:<

[SilverPrince offline]

You get a massive explosion. And travel arrangements by Travelocity.

I put in a carrot.

[Carth]

You get several fat rabbits.

I put in the webcomic "Gunnerkrigg Court".

[Asantewaalrus offline]

You get a donut. D:<

I put in Bill Gates.

[SilverPrince offline]

You get US$58,000,000,000.00

I put in fifty-nine billion dollars. Because... I'm apparently rich enough to put that much in a vending machine and not be destitute...

[Asantewaalrus offline]

You get a tooth pick and I get your monkey.

I file you bankrupt and put in two bucks.

[Carth]

You get five doe.

I put in the violence in your heart.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

You get a bloody donut.

I put in hunger.

[Carth]

You get my school lunch.

I put in my history teacher's moustache.

[SilverPrince offline]

You get eight packets of Awesomesauce.

I put in my history teacher.

[Carth]

You get my AP Lit teacher.

I put in the bookshelf next to me.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

You get a toothpick and a piece of paper.

I put in the song Great DJ! by Ting Tings

[Carth]

You get the song "Undisclosed Desires" by Muse.

I put in this smiley:

[Asantewaalrus offline]

You get this smiley: who later screams, "LA-LA-LA! CAN'T HEAR YOU, LISTENING TO UNDISCLOSED DESIRES!"

I put in an old keyboard.

[SilverPrince offline]

You get a 2x4 board with old house keys glued onto it.

I put in a thesaurus.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

You get a Spanish-to-English dictionary; why? I DON'T SEE THAT IN A THESAURUS.

lolsaurus. dinosaur book, bra.

I put in a wannabe dinosaur.

[SilverPrince offline]

Granted. You get a T. rex who just wants to be a Stegosaurus.

I wish for Switzerland.

[TheAppleFreak]

You mixed up the games again.
You get an overstuffed vending machine.

I put in my now 100% fully functional netbook.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

You get a crappy desktop running '98.

I wish for a properly functioning husband. D ;
WHO DIDN'T LOVE OTHER WOMEN.
AND WANT TO GO TO THE CARI' INSTEAD OF SPENDING TIME WITH HIS WIFE.
OR CONSTANTLY ASK FOR SAMMICHES.
OR-OR-OR COULD TELL THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GAMES.
[/complains]

lolololol... who's a hypocrite? not me!

[SilverPrince offline]

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT GAME THIS ANYMORE!!

*checks*

Okay. Vending Machine. I can do this. *deep breath*

(By the way, dear, I can assure you that I don't love other women.)

Assuming that your wish is what you put in, you get a thank you card from a woman who has been inside the vending machine for years hoping for such a man.

<s>I wish for</s> I PUT IN a set of golf clubs,

[Asantewaalrus offline]

Ouch.
That made me laugh longer than it should have. PX

You get Tiger Woods and a box of pf Wheaties.

I put in—wish for—take out—band-—up, down, across—argh! Here, I put in a brain. D:<

[SilverPrince offline]

The vending machine thanks you. It loves brains. In fact, it requests that you give it more. Many, many more.

I put in this brain in a jar, labeled "Abby Normal". (Three cookies for anyone who gets the reference.)

[Carth]

You get a sedagive.

I put in the three cookies I got.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

You get me, who eats all three cookies.

I put in a brand new pair of underwear... with pockets!

[SilverPrince offline]

You get a brand new pair of pants... without pockets!

I put in 15g of anti-matter.