Amusing school moments

[Rho offline]

Indeed.

Well, my 9th grade year highlights of stupid/weird kids included, most notably, a girl who stuck a lit match in her mouth during a lab in science.

So, I have to take Summer School to make up some credits. About three or so seats away from me is this short-ish chubby kid who a few days prior wanted to buy my iPod. I denied his request.

Today, I got up to try to find a novel, since I already read three and needed to find another one. I'm quietly looking for one. He keeps telling me to sit down. I ignore him. Later, he suddenly gets angry at me for some reason and starts throwing crumbled up bits of paper at me, missing 90% of the time.
He then keeps saying "WHAT"D YOU CALL ME!?" over and over, even when I was speaking to someone else about a completely different subject.
Then he starts telling me he's going to "beat me up" after school. I laugh at him, continue my work.
He keeps saying it to me over and over, and takes a magazine and shows me some picture of someone with a broken nose or something, telling me that it's going to be me after school. I tell him he's pathetic and move along.
I then hear him saying to some other kid that he's going to "punch me in the nose" then steal my shirt, ONE of my shoes, and my iPod. I turn around, smile, and tell him I heard everything he said, and informing him that he would not be very intelligent to do that, seeing as how I'm both taller than him, and the fact that there are at least two police officers there, as well as well over two dozen witnesses, and he would at the very least be charged with theft and battery.
He then looks scared and says something to his friends in Spanish. I hear nothing from him until a few minutes before the bell rings.
"I'M GONNA BEAT YOU UP OUT THERE AND IM GONNA BE WAITING FOR YOU AND IF YOU RUN AWAY I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU"
I ignore him. Bell rings, I walk at normal pace out of the classroom. I see him nowhere in sight.
Shortly afterwards, I see him running into what I assume what his parents' car. Ha.

Well, anyway, I'll be interested to hear what other experiences people here have had.
If this really included teachers... Don't even get me started..

[Asantewaalrus offline]

Hm, amusing school moments?
I have a lot, but one of the recent ones from a long time ago was...

Well, I was in choir, and the alto section consist of two to four people on any given day while the sopranos have about the whole class--seems like every chick wants a high pitched voice. Anyway, on this day it was just me, my friend, and our choir's emo-kid poster child who were in the alto section, we were singing some song, and despite there were only three of us we were several levels louder than the huge-ass soprano section.

Anyway, our choir teacher stops up, snaps at the soprano section, and we altos are just standing there all smug until somebody in the soprano section waves his hands in the air at a comment we made, saying that Leah and me are like five people in one.

Leah 'n' me totally took that the wrong way, so we're like "OMG, MY EGO!"

We start singing again, the sopranos are still dead silent and it wasn't until the middle of the song I stop singing and blurt out "Oh! He was talking about our voices!"

So, everyone cracks up, I get called an idiot ("EGO DENT NUMBER II!") and yeah...

---

Also, another choir story. We had to do a performance for Christmas or something, and keep in mind my old school only had around four-hundred students, thus, the choir only had... say... fifteen students at the most. Anyway we're singing and for some stupid reason I look way of my Mom and she's cracking up, I didn't know why but it looked as if she was dying and she was looking dead at me. Sadly, I tend to laugh easily, so I started giggling in the middle of the song, causing my friend to giggle and my choir teacher glared daggers at us.

... We laugh a bit harder but still try singing.

Fail.

The audience starts laughing.

God, that was terrible.

---

Oh! Another one, ha-ha.
Er, okay, so Leah is a bit happy-go-lucky/ditzy while, apparently, I'm stone-cold and a bit mean looking when I perform. So, we had to do an end of the school year mini-concert, and I kept scowling out of habit towards the audience. By then Leah is tweaking out beside me and she literally grabs my arm and starts dancing while singing some super-depressing song with the rest of the choir. I glare at her, her Mom cracks up, and now there's a picture of me looking like I'm about to kill her in the yearbook.

Siiiigggghh.

Hopefully I don't snag another overly-perky friend at my new-old school. D:<

[Carth]

But-but perky/happy friends are fun. They spark conversation. 8D

Most of my amusing school moments tend to amuse others...one that everyone who went to my elementary school remembers fondly is the day I decided to glue myself to my seat. We all had problems with sitting still, and teacher's aide would tell the class, repeatedly, that she'd glue us to our seats if we didn't sit down and pay attention. Considering the strength of my Elmer's glue (that is, nonexistent) I didn't believe her. Considering I was a stupid six-year-old, I wanted to try it out. Right then and there. So I spilled a big glob of it on my seat and sat down.

After about ten minutes, I could still get up, so I raised my hand and triumphantly told the class that it didn't work. And I'm sure the teachers and custodial staff had a lovely day from there on out.

More recently...huh. I can't think of anything recent. 8D;

[TheAppleFreak]

I was once on a school trip to the mountains as part of a ski trip, and somehow I managed to lock myself in the bus bathroom. Upon later investigation, it was found that the door had become unhinged and got wedged awkwardly in the door frame. That was embarrasing, even moreso because I had to break the door down (literally) to get out. Everyone hated me on the way back.

[Carth]

I was once on a school trip to the mountains as part of a ski trip, and somehow I managed to lock myself in the bus bathroom. Upon later investigation, it was found that the door had become unhinged and got wedged awkwardly in the door frame. That was embarrasing, even moreso because I had to break the door down (literally) to get out. Everyone hated me on the way back.

Bus bathroom. No door. Oh no. Dx Dx Dx

I think I can come up with some small goofy moments...

In Freshman Bio, there was one girl who would habitually bring her breakfast to class, as it was usually first period. My school has a very very very low crime rate (I think about the worst thing that's happened in two years is a girl writing "F*** YOU" in a bathroom stall), so when she brought in a good-sized knife to cut up a mango, no one batted an eye. Not even the teacher, who said, "The first thing they told me when they hired me was, "At [insert my school name here], if you see a girl walking down the hall holding a knife, your first thought should be, "Where's the cake?" " Which got us all laughing because it's absolutely true. Of course, if you see a boy walking down the hall holding a knife at my school, you should probably run.

[Rho offline]

I've been having this problem with an extremely obnoxious girl who was in my math class half of last year and this year so far.

And of course, I ALWAYS end up sitting near her.
She likes to constantly chat away with her friends, 98% of the time in Spanish..And most of the time, it occurs when I'm trying to concentrate on my work.
Hey, there's close to an hours worth of break each day, use it.

If I tell them to be quiet, they either tell ME to, or just ignore me and continue on.
Sometimes they even chat away WHEN THE TEACHER IS TALKING TO THE CLASS.
Other times they'll try to tell me that they were talking about math.
"Well, how am I supposed to know that? I don't speak Spanish."
"WELL YOU SHOULD"
"No.."
"WELL THEN YOU COULD ASK US."
"How would I know you were telling me the truth?"
"OH SHUT UP."
Even if they were, they're always loud.. And why can't they just speak in English? From what I've heard, it at least used to be considered disrespectful to do stuff like that.
They just seem to think that they can do anything they wish to.

Oh, and then I'll be waiting at the door a few minutes before school's let out and she'll start trying to shove me out of the way, then after the bell rings say that she's going to the office to report me for "pushing" her.
Not once did I get called into the office about such an issue.
She also recently claimed she'd be reporting me for "sexual harassment". Which was me telling her to shut up when I was trying to work on an assignment.
Then later on she randomly throws some water at me.
Then when I tell her "Oh, then while you report me for the so-called sexual harassment, I'll let them know about this."
"YOU DON'T HAVE PROOF!"
"You don't have proof I "sexually harassed" you, either, mainly since I didn't."
"WHO DO YOU THINK THEY WILL BELIEVE?"
She also likes to think she's smarter than me.
Guess what?
Not only can't she do simple math..
But she recently got pregnant.
And she's about 15 or so.

Brilliant, right?

[TheAppleFreak]

...Wow. Just wow.

At my school, we have two elevators for teacher use and handicapped use only. Naturally, since we lug around 90 pound backpacks up and down 5 flights of stairs, the elevators have become a natural conduit for overburdened students (when no one's looking, of course). So, one kid was taking the elevator from the locker room (in the basement) to his homeroom (on the 5th floor). He didn't know that there was scheduled maintenance that day. As he was traveling up, they killed the power to the elevator and began work on the cables and everything. The kid became frightened, naturally. So, he managed to hoist himself up onto the roof of the elevator and climb the manual access ladder. When he got to a door, he began pounding on it. A student heard, and he reported it to a teacher. The teacher got the guys to turn the power back on, and they opened the doors for him. He got into majorly serious trouble for taking the elevator without permission, and everyone else just laughed at him. We're not cruel; we just enjoy a good laugh sometimes.

And then, more recently, someone in class 1E found a condom in our health classroom. Since we were the last people in the room, we were obviously the ones that were blamed. The dean of students threatened to take away all of our privledges and membership in clubs, sports teams, etc. Naturally, we're all nervous, so we begin hounding on everyone to see who did it. Later, we find that it was a kid named Richard in 1C, and he was punished severely for it.

So... yeah.

[DeadViolet offline]

a condom in our health classroom.

They're SUPPOSED to teach you about Condoms in Health Class.
Unless it's a Holy-Roller school.

[TheAppleFreak]

a condom in our health classroom.

They're SUPPOSED to teach you about Condoms in Health Class.
Unless it's a Holy-Roller school.

Yes, it's a Catholic school.

[Carth]

a condom in our health classroom.

They're SUPPOSED to teach you about Condoms in Health Class.
Unless it's a Holy-Roller school.

Yes, it's a Catholic school.

Even for a Catholic school, the punishments you've described seem awfully harsh. Losing everything that makes up your scholarly existence by being found with a condom? >.> of course, if there were girls at your school, and it was used, I might see that being justified...

My school also has an elevator, but its use is restricted to those with keys, ie, teachers and injured kids (and the injured kids' friends...when the teachers aren't looking of course). I think I heard about someone planning to get copies of the keys made...dunno how long THAT'LL last.

Which all also reminded me of a story from 8th grade. I was sitting in a row at play practice behind the two male leads in the show. While I'm there, one of them turns to the other and says, "So, do you need anything? Food? Money? Condoms?" If I'd laughed I'd be dead.

Another one, that's actually more of an urban legend...my freshman Lit teacher is infamous for being awkward around women. Word is that, in the days before my school required laptops (or cellphones became popular in any case) a girl was caught passing notes in his class, and was understandably asked for the note. In a stroke of genius, she stuffed it down her shirt. The legend ends there. I never found out if it was true.

[SilverPrince offline]

Even for a Catholic school, the punishments you've described seem awfully harsh. Losing everything that makes up your scholarly existence by being found with a condom? >.> of course, if there were girls at your school, and it was used, I might see that being justified...

Perhaps the administration's line of thinking was "What use does anyone have for a condom at an all-boys school?" I certainly hope my drift is catchable.
inb4 "You would think of that, 422"

There's the time that for April Fool's, my friend and I sort of played a trick on our Japanese teacher. Our class was known for much light-hearted joking around amongst the students, but my friend and I decided to joke as if he had said one joke too far about me, and so we faked a shouting match. Looking back, this might not have been a good thing. Nerdy students snapping is how tragedies begin. But the teacher laughed. I'm no Tony-award winning actor, but if there's any emotion I can portray well, it's anger. I'm fairly sure several students thought I was serious. But sensei laughed at my anger.

So, all in all, a fun time was had by all.

Oh, and I've heard several stories about how one of the 10th grade English teachers- notorious for being a "hippy" of sorts- has come to school high on marijuana. I've never actually asked her, but one person said he did and the teacher didn't reply.

[Carth]

Even for a Catholic school, the punishments you've described seem awfully harsh. Losing everything that makes up your scholarly existence by being found with a condom? >.> of course, if there were girls at your school, and it was used, I might see that being justified...

Perhaps the administration's line of thinking was "What use does anyone have for a condom at an all-boys school?" I certainly hope my drift is catchable.
inb4 "You would think of that, 422"

Oh, and I've heard several stories about how one of the 10th grade English teachers- notorious for being a "hippy" of sorts- has come to school high on marijuana. I've never actually asked her, but one person said he did and the teacher didn't reply.

You would think of that, 422. But the way it goes...boy+girl+condom= possible creation of babies. boy+boy+condom=no possible creation of babies. no babies=not a problem practically speaking. I hope no one notices i forgot about STDs. MOVING ON

That's-that's actually quite interesting. I've heard stories of kids at other schools getting drunk by putting vodka in water bottles...but nothing like that's ever happened here. <s>Cause you'd be expelled if you did.</s>

[Rho offline]

Heh, that reminds me of this girl in my PE class last year (who, oddly enough, was a lot like Sissi Delmas) came to class drunk.

Needless to say, it became very obvious and she got caught and suspended for a week.

[Slayer offline]

Ive got one, last year close to the end of the first semester i was on one of the computer admin's laptops because i broke my right wrist and i couldn't wright and he had a program watching the servers for when he wasn't there so he could make sure that no one was doing anything to them. i looked at it "by accident" and it turns out the viruses that normal come with porn didn't come from students they were from the OUTER computer admin. While i had it in the window the admin/teacher came past to look how i was going and went completely nuts at me until i showed him that it wasn't me looking at the porn. and apparently the principle was in the room when i was being yelled at so i got in a bit of trouble from my mum.

There was another time where i caught the admin downloading music and movies on to the backup web server so that he could take it home with him the next day. Me and my friend got administrator accounts until the end of the year in exchange for us not turning him in

[TheAppleFreak]

In both of my old schools (elementary and middle), I was Mr. IT-computer-tech guy, and there was one incident that was memorable. In the 4th grade, the Internet inexplicably failed on all of the four computers in my classroom. I was, naturally, called upon to fix it. No amount of command-line magic could fix it, and I was perplexed because the physical connections were intact. I worked on it for a while, until I dropped something near the computers. Upon crawling down to get the thing, that was when I realized the power for the Ethernet hub was not plugged in. That earned me a mental facepalm.

Then, on my first day of high school, I was walking to the train station near my school. I was busting for a pee, so I decided to walk back to my school to use a bathroom. Halfway between the station and the main entrance, I came. When you have to listen to your kids complain about their first day of high school, just tell them this story and that their anxiety is NOTHING compared to what I went through.

[Gauntlet offline]

Then, on my first day of high school, I was walking to the train station near my school. I was busting for a pee, so I decided to walk back to my school to use a bathroom. Halfway between the station and the main entrance, I came. When you have to listen to your kids complain about their first day of high school, just tell them this story and that their anxiety is NOTHING compared to what I went through.

That would be pretty awkward.


Ahem, at any rate... I'll give in. While we're on the topic of bodily functions, I was "busting for a pee" (my new favorite phrase) between classes during junior high, but the urinals were occupied, so I stepped into a stall. Apparently, some poor kid managed to expel the contents of his digestive tract, everything he had ever eaten, and a few organs; I won't go into details (partly because, frankly, I think I've repressed what I saw), but it was bad. So bad, the kid tried to flush it himself but it must have lashed out and pulled him into the pipes, clogging it. The last thing I wanted to do was attempt another flush and make the janitor's day even worse, but there wasn't time to wait around as the bell had just rang, so I just left the stall and had to rush to my next class on the other side of the campus.

Like clockwork, some other kid entered the same stall right as I left. I almost couldn't run straight after hearing him shriek, "DUDE, THAT'S NASTY!"

[Rho offline]

That reminds me.. In 6th Grade, suddenly all the dudes in the class began asking to use the bathroom and coming back with weird looks on their faces, Naturally, I checked it out...

My god.
Feces was everywhere.
I came close to puking.

[Asantewaalrus offline]

One of my friends, he came to school in extremely tight, rippped capri pants.
“Those look like his Mom's jeans! Those probably are his Mom's jeans.â€

[. offline]

A girl cried rape on campus, and the media crucified the 5 guys she claimed did it. Reporter their names, revealed were they lived, blah blah, with out hesitation.

Then it turns out b*tch lied, shes just a cheating s**t.

Media refuses to crucify here.

[Carth]

A girl cried rape on campus, and the media crucified the 5 guys she claimed did it. Reporter their names, revealed were they lived, blah blah, with out hesitation.

Then it turns out b*tch lied, shes just a cheating s**t.

Media refuses to crucify here.

Censoring because is my job.

The only thing worse than being herded into a gender role is a buttface (like her) using that gender role to her advantage.

Today was my first Anime Club meeting. It was the two senior leaders, me, three overexcited weaboo freshmen, about three sophomores who came in thinking it was Diversity Board or something, and one freshman's sister (senior) and her friend, who looked like they'd been herded there, or else came for the free food. Anime fan-ish as I am, I had to feel sorry for them...

I also asked if I could show what was not strictly anime, and they said yes. So I might unleash a French animated bonanza on their souls. <s>If I do, which one should I show? I want to go for either wow factor or wtf factor.</s>

[TheAppleFreak]

A girl cried rape on campus, and the media crucified the 5 guys she claimed did it. Reporter their names, revealed were they lived, blah blah, with out hesitation.

Then it turns out b*tch lied, shes just a cheating s**t.

Media refuses to crucify here.

Censoring because is my job.

The only thing worse than being herded into a gender role is a buttface (like her) using that gender role to her advantage.

Today was my first Anime Club meeting. It was the two senior leaders, me, three overexcited weaboo freshmen, about three sophomores who came in thinking it was Diversity Board or something, and one freshman's sister (senior) and her friend, who looked like they'd been herded there, or else came for the free food. Anime fan-ish as I am, I had to feel sorry for them...

I also asked if I could show what was not strictly anime, and they said yes. So I might unleash a French animated bonanza on their souls. <s>If I do, which one should I show? I want to go for either wow factor or wtf factor.</s>

Go with ep 60. Sabotage. Naughty vines is naughty.

[Vodka's Vengeance offline]

Hm. Well, during my freshmen year in high school, there was a kid named Joe or something that hated me for some reason. Now, this kid was horribly fat and at least a foot shorter than me, yet felt the urge to harass me. He would go out of his way to bump into me, then say "Watch where the f uck you're going" and constantly threatened to beat me up. This went on for a couple of weeks, until one day, I had finally had enough. He bumped into me and said his usual monologue of how he was going to beat me up, and then I grabbed his shoulder and shouted "What's your problem, you fat jackass?" and then punched him in the face. Hard. Really, really hard. Then I kicked him in the balls. Once he was on the ground, I leaped on him and let loose a flurry of punches, kicks, elbows, and knees. It was like a Dragon Ball Z fight I was going so fast. Then a cop who was passing by ripped me off of him, and man, I've never felt such a surge of savage pleasure at seeing the dumbfounded look on his face. And I was suspended for ten days, skipping through some of the details of how the cop dragged me to the office and they called my parents and told them I needed psycho-violent therapy and such. But it was worth it. Now, I do not like violence and am not violent by nature, but sometimes, you've just had enough. He never so much as spoke a word to me again, and for some reason didn't press charges. Who says violence can't solve your problems?

I'm not sure if that counts as amusing for some people, but I look back on it and find it amusing.

[TheAppleFreak]

Hm. Well, during my freshmen year in high school, there was a kid named Joe or something that hated me for some reason. Now, this kid was horribly fat and at least a foot shorter than me, yet felt the urge to harass me. He would go out of his way to bump into me, then say "Watch where the f uck you're going" and constantly threatened to beat me up. This went on for a couple of weeks, until one day, I had finally had enough. He bumped into me and said his usual monologue of how he was going to beat me up, and then I grabbed his shoulder and shouted "What's your problem, you fat jackass?" and then punched him in the face. Hard. Really, really hard. Then I kicked him in the balls. Once he was on the ground, I leaped on him and let loose a flurry of punches, kicks, elbows, and knees. It was like a Dragon Ball Z fight I was going so fast. Then a cop who was passing by ripped me off of him, and I was suspended for ten days. But it was worth it. Now, I do not like violence and am not violent by nature, but sometimes, you've just had enough.

I'm not sure if that counts as amusing for some people, but I look back on it and find it amusing.

...I find your sense of humor to be strange.

During our sophmore orientation this year, our Dean was introducing several new rules. One was that cell phones are not to be used anywhere in the building above the first floor. It wasn't new, but it's gonna be more enforced. So, after our computer teacher said that flash drives were mandatory, my friend Max asked whether an exception could be made to him with the cell phone rule. People looked at him and the dean asked him why. Max said that his phone (iPhone 3GS) was his flash drive. I lul'd at that.

[oddlauren offline]

wow, sees like forever I was in grade school. I just got my associate's degree this May.

anyway... I think it was my freshman year in high-school. When my then bf and I walked in Science, we saw a guy with his head down, obviously asleep. He ended up sleeping through his class (the class before mine obviously) and didn't wake up until one of my classmates or teacher told him to get to class. He was so embarrassed, he got out of there as soon as he could. I wonder if he made it to class on time, doubt it, there was only a three minute break between the first bell and tardy bell. Or some short period of minutes. I bet his friends gave him a hard time about it.

[TheLQ offline]

Lets see.....

A few days ago, we found a box of suran wrap on the lunch table. I look at it for a while, and my friend asks if he can have it. I give it to him. Bad idea. He then says that he's going to show one of his friends. So after a few minuites i turn around to see Evan wrapping his friend in suran wrap from the shoulder to the elbow, right in the middle of the packed cafateria. The people at the admin table just shake their heads.

3 hours later, school gets out. I walk outside to find Evan wrapping Anthony in suran wrap from the shoulder to the waist. Everyone was looking at him. Then after we play around for a little bit, without taking it off, he runs from where we were at the corner of the bus loading area to the opposite corner where his bus was. The driver thought it was a hazing thing, and didn't say much. When he got home, his brother laughed his ass off. Anthony is the only person we could do that to and not get in trouble. He just dosen't care.

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Then there was another time where i had aquired a wireless mouse and keyboard kit from my friend. I knew we had a sub in my compy sci class, so i thought i'd have some fun. Pretendig to ask a question, i went directly behind the desk with the computer ports facing me, and plugged in the transmitter. Once i get back to my desk, i pull out the mouse and keyboard, and have fun during a presentation. The powerpoint "goes crazy" and randomly switches slides. The browser she pulled up randomly opens and closes. Her keyboard "gets stuck", repeating the same letter 50 times. And the funniest is when it randomly opens paint and draws "I'm watching you". Ahhh, why people don't like to become subsitutes.

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A variation of this was when Parker got a hold of the projector remote. He kept on using the zoom and pointer function, messing up the powerpoint so much the sub almost called in the administration to search all our persons for the remote. Parker stopped, but then pried the front cover from the remote, and stuffed it in a desk. Our teacher got extreamly mad when she found the remote, but after she forced the entire class to look for it, it was found behind one of the book cases.

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We all love finals right? Before the school spent half the total school budget on camera's, fights and false fire alamrs were the norm. During the first final of the semester, the fire alarm gets pulled 3 times, a fight happens, and some guy ran through all the hallways screaming his head off. The next day, the fire alarm was pulled 3 more times, and someone brings a dry ice bomb to school, puts it in a locker not covered by the old camera system, and it explodes perfectly on time during one of the transitions. On the third day, a food fight happens. Finnaly, on the fourth day, every single teacher not having a class was told to partrol the hallways. Someone pulled the fire alarm, but got tackled by one of the cops as he tried to run though the ally that gets to all the fields for sports.

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The last thing i have was the most randomest thing ever i've seen. During lunch one day, someone dressed as a ninja runs in from the door to the center of the lunch room and yells. Then a guy dressed as a pirate runs from the door and tries to kill the ninja. They have this really random sword fight, and the ninja falls. The pirate then drags the ninja out the door. Everyone cheers, then laughs when the entire administration table gets up and walks toward the door where they left. Half the cafateria gets up and rushes to the door tring to see what happens.

Thats all i have. Maybe i'll remember something interesting.