Father To Daughter Rated G

[Jeremie Lover offline]

Im going to write another fan fiction during school tomorrow then type it for the public. This will be the main page for it.


I'll post as soon as I write it.

Cast:

Franz Hopper
Aelita Hopper
Lucy Hopper ( Made up first name for Aelita's mom)

Here we go:

Father To Daughter

[emoBillâ„¢ offline]

OK, tell me when you write it!

[MY85 offline]

You got two days to publish a link to your story... or it gets locked.

[Jeremie Lover offline]

I posted the URl in my first Post. Please tell me how I did.

[Jeremified offline]

I'll read it in about 10 minutes. I'll edit this post and tell you what I think.

The edit: Pretty good! I'm still waiting for the next part to the fanfic.

[Jeremie Lover offline]

Thanks. I'm to busy to write it today ^_^

I'll rough draft at school tomorrow

[Skorpigeist offline]

It is quite short. I will have to see more before I can make a judgement. your grammer is pretty good though.

[Jeremified offline]

It is quite short. I will have to see more before I can make a judgement. your grammer is pretty good though.

I agree. Excellent grammar.

[Just_Jaine offline]

That was really good. I can't wait to read more.

[emoBillâ„¢ offline]

Your grammar wasn't very good -.-;; I don't understand what other people are saying. But maybe that's because I'm so used to seeing top-of-the-notch grammar =P

Anywayz, kind of weird with the glob...but it was original! I'm hanging on the edge of my seat.

[Skorpigeist offline]

Your grammar wasn't very good -.-;; I don't understand what other people are saying. But maybe that's because I'm so used to seeing top-of-the-notch grammar =P

Anywayz, kind of weird with the glob...but it was original! I'm hanging on the edge of my seat.

My comment stems from half of the things I have read... and compared to those (there are a few exceptions) the grammar is very good

[emoBillâ„¢ offline]

Aha. Most people's grammar isn't very good

[MY85 offline]

I posted the URl in my first Post. Please tell me how I did.

I forgot to lock it by Thursday. You were lucky to update it.

Comment: It's regular... it can be improved...

[Jeremie Lover offline]

Well..... Please lock this. I dont intend to finish it if I suck that bad.

[codeTONY offline]

Well..... Please lock this. I dont intend to finish it if I suck that bad.

You forgot some tags;

[degrade=yourself] and then [/degrade]


Look, you don't suck. Space it out alittle more, and spell check it first.

CTS, it's a good storyline.

[MY85 offline]

Well..... Please lock this. I dont intend to finish it if I suck that bad.

I didn't meant to offend you. My apologies if I did... however, good luck with your upcoming parts. *hug*

[Mewberries151]

Well..... Please lock this. I dont intend to finish it if I suck that bad.

You asked for everyone to tell you how you did. They're just giving you some constructive criticism to help you grow and improve as a writer. They're not flaming you or telling you these things to be mean. They're all trying to help you.

[Jeremie Lover offline]

Very well. I willl continue at school today. Bye for now (school time)

[Just_Jaine offline]

Yah! Your story is grate. I’m glad you decide to continue to write it.

[strok3d offline]

the story line is awesome! i cant wait to read on hurry up and write the rest!!!!!